Item #: SCP-4442
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4442 is contained along with the town of ███████, Florida. All previous residents have been given Class-B amnestics and relocated, and all geographical records of the area since 1963 have been wiped or destroyed.
The town was converted to a Foundation facility in 1976 after Incident Digamma-874, and is currently used as an MTF barracks and training facility. All contact with SCP-4442 and its immediate vicinity is monitored closely by site staff. Up to 150 personnel can be on staff at one time, with the town functioning as a location to teach Tier I-III Defensive Driving courses.
Description: SCP-4442 is a four-way traffic stop in ███████, Florida. It is of standard construction for the time period. It uses one Crouse Hinds "D" type 4-way signal, with its signature "Smiley Face" lenses hung over the center of the intersection. Span wire is attached diagonally across the street to two utility poles six meters in height.
SCP-4442 continues to function as a normal four-way traffic light, in spite of it no longer having access to a power supply or the regular maintenance a unit of its age would require. SCP-4442's anomalous effects are triggered when a manned street legal vehicle passes directly underneath the signal; the driver of this vehicle will be designated SCP-4442-A for the duration of SCP-4442's effect. For the next 30 days, any moving violation to which SCP-4442-A is at fault will result in subjectively appropriate vandalism to SCP-4442-A's primary vehicle, designated SCP-4442-B. SCP-4442-B may not be the vehicle used to initiate the initial event, or even the vehicle currently registered to SCP-4442-A; rather, SCP-4442-B appears to be the vehicle to which SCP-4442-A is most emotionally attached at the time of crossing SCP-4442.
Any text produced by SCP-4442 is printed as matte black 576-point Impact font directly on the outer body of the vehicle. Testing has shown that the severity of the vandalism is proportionate to the severity of the moving violation; additionally, statements manifested are personalized to the driver. For details, see addenda.
- Close
Experiment 4442-003:
Date: ██/██/19██
Subject: D-10959
SCP-4442-B: White 1969 Ford Bronco Sport
Researcher: Dr. Draper
Violation
Effect
Location of Writing
Approximate Time to Effect
Left turn on red
"A good way to get T-Boned, Jackass."
Written across the driver's side of the vehicle.
15 Seconds
Changing lanes without signaling
"Please Body Check Me"
Written along the passenger's side of the vehicle, notably the side facing the rest of the available lanes.
11 Seconds
Brake-checking
"How's My Driving? Call ███-███-████!"
Written across the back paneling.
5 Seconds
Additional Notes: Testing ended after subject became emotionally distressed at the sight of his mother's phone number being revealed and resisted coercion.
- Close
Experiment 4442-008:
Date: ██/██/19██
Subject: D-80994
SCP-4442-B: "Quartz Silver Metallic" 1986 Acura Integra
Researcher: Dr. Draper
Violation
Effect
Location of Writing
Approximate Time to Effect
Speeding (15MPH above posted limit)
"I can't read road signs, send help!"
Written along the back window.
1 Minute
Speeding (25MPH above posted limit)
"Can one of you nerds tell this asshole to slow down?"
Written along the back window.
30 Seconds
Speeding (35MPH above posted limit)
"Speeding didn't kill my girlfriend. I did."
Written along both right and left sides of the vehicle.
15 Seconds
- Close
Experiment 4442-███:
Date: ██/██/20██
Subject: C-51174
SCP-4442-B: White 2005 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo
Researcher: Dr. ███████
Violation
Effect
Location of Writing
Approximate Time to Effect
Lack of seatbelt usage
"I care about my life almost as much as I care about yours! (I don't!)"
written along the driver's side door
5 Minutes
Driving in-between lanes
Pornographic drawing of a set of spread legs, with unidentifiable genitalia. The caption "I love to spread 'em!" is printed underneath.
drawn and written along the trunk
2 Minutes
Passing on the right
"I'm not perfect, okay?"
written across the hood
10 Minutes
Additional Notes: Proper compensation was given and the vehicle repainted. Further investigation in regards to potential sapience is pending.
- Addendum IV: Testing Log ████
Experiment 4442-███:
Date: ██/██/███
Subject: D-99406
SCP-4442-B: [REDACTED]
Researcher: [REDACTED]
Violation
Effect
Location of Writing
Approximate Time to Effect
Running a stop sign
21 sets of complete geographical coordinates
Written across the entirety of the left and right sides of the vehicle.
7 Seconds
Additional Notes: Decayed human remains were recovered from the coordinates given; all 15 individuals identified had been flagged as missing by law enforcement prior to this discovery. When interviewed, D-99406 disclosed that they had committed all 15 murders over the course of seven years. As they were never convicted for the murders, D-99406 was given the option of federal incarceration or extended service as D-class personnel. D-99406 was subsequently transferred to Biological Containment Site-66.