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SCP-6121

THE CAPSLOCK CREW

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Item#: SCP-6121

Level2

Containment Class:

esoteric

Secondary Class:

archived

Disruption Class:

dark

Risk Class:

notice

link to memo


SCP-6121-1 prior to containment.

Special Containment Procedures: Cliometria.aic is cataloguing all high-profile public events taking place within Canada and projected to feature at least one mascot character. One additional humanoid containment chamber must be prepared at Site-43 ahead of each such event. A new chamber must also be prepared prior to each occurrence of the Winter Olympic Games. MTF Kappa-43 ("The Mediators") must be on-hand to capture any SCP-6121 instance which manifests; it must then be remanded to the new chamber.


Description: SCP-6121 is a blanket designation for a series of humanoid anomalies resembling human beings wearing mascot character costumes. In actual fact, the costumes are hollow; they are, however, universally capable of movement, vocalization, and apparently limited cognition. Each SCP-6121 instance manifests through unknown means at a large scale public event held within the nation of Canada, resembling said event's official mascot — though always deviating from the approved design in one or several respects..Aberrant quadrennial manifestations suggest that whatever force controls the manifestation of SCP-6121 instances considers the Winter Olympic Games to be Canadian, whether taking place in Canada or not. Their actions are inexplicable, tending towards the ridiculous, and they universally communicate in extremely loud, flat tones. Their speech is only rarely pertinent, and very frequently incoherent.


Addendum 6121-1, Partial Inventory: A representative sample of SCP-6121 instances retrieved from the Site-43 Network Database (43NET) is reproduced below.

43NET: Catalogue of SCP-6121 Instances [SELECTED]

Item #: SCP-6121-1

Date: 11/16/1963

Mascot: A stylized depiction of a snowy owl in the style of Inuit handicrafts, known as an "Ookpik."

Deviations: SCP-6121-1 has human proportions. Genuine Ookpik are typically the size of small plush animals.

Circumstances of Discovery: SCP-6121-1 vandalized the Canadian displays at the 1963 Philadelphia trade fair, which Ookpik had been created to advertise, by ramming into the booth walls and screeching.

Interview Log

Date: 11/16/1963
Present: Chief M. Strauss (Security and Containment)


Chief Strauss: Hello, SCP-6121. I'm going to ask you a few questions.

SCP-6121-1: HOOT HOOT MOTHER FUCKER.

Chief Strauss: …I beg your pardon?

SCP-6121-1: I'M A OWL.

Silence on recording.

Sound of a door closing.

Debriefing Log

Date: 11/16/1963
Present: Dr. W. Rydderech (Chief, Acroamatic Abatement), Chief M. Strauss (Security and Containment)


Dr. Rydderech: What on Earth was that?

Chief Strauss: Did you hear… I don't…

Dr. Rydderech: You look how I feel.

Chief Strauss: I've never seen anything like it. I don't get this at all.

Dr. Rydderech: Is it dangerous?

Chief Strauss: It doesn't seem dangerous. But I can't make heads or tails of it.

Dr. Rydderech: Archives and Revision will start combing the database. There's got to be a precedent.

Chief Strauss: There isn't. Our subjects are never… funny.

Dr. Rydderech: Oh, is it supposed to be funny? Is that what it thinks it's doing?

Chief Strauss: It's a little bit funny.

A second interview was conducted three hours later.

Interview Log

Date: 11/16/1963
Present: Dr. W. Rydderech (Chief, Acroamatic Abatement), Chief M. Strauss (Security and Containment)


SCP-6121-1: HOOT HOOT.

Chief Strauss: We've been over that.

SCP-6121-1: CAW.

Chief Strauss: That's… owls don't…

SCP-6121-1: I'M NOT REALLY A OWL.

Dr. Rydderech: No?

SCP-6121-1: NO.

Dr. Rydderech: Then what are you?

SCP-6121-1: I'M A ANTHROPOMORPHIC PERSONIFICATION.

Silence on recording.

Dr. Rydderech: Really?

SCP-6121-1: YES.

Dr. Rydderech: That's terribly interesting.

SCP-6121-1: YES.

Dr. Rydderech: And what are you an anthropomorphic personification of?

SCP-6121-1: A MOTHER FUCKING OWL.

Silence on recording.

SCP-6121-1: MORON.

Debriefing Log

Date: 11/16/1963
Present: Dr. V.L. Scout (Director), Dr. W. Rydderech (Chief, Acroamatic Abatement), Chief M. Strauss (Security and Containment)


Dr. Scout: Thoughts?

Dr. Rydderech: Someone's screwing around.

Chief Strauss: Can't help but agree. This feels like a distraction.

Dr. Rydderech: A complete and utter waste of time. Lock it up, and throw away the key.

Dr. Scout: Does it eat?

Chief Strauss: I don't think it can.

Dr. Rydderech: Why not?

Chief Strauss: Because it's hollow, and there's a speaker in its beak.

Item #: SCP-6121-11

Date: 07/18/1976

Mascot: A beaver by the name of "Amik," mascot of the 1976 Summer Olympic Games in Montréal, Québec.

Deviations: SCP-6121-11 has human proportions, despite being a beaver, and lacks Amik's red sash.

Circumstances of Discovery: SCP-6121-11 was discovered drowning in the Lachine Canal, having apparently attempted to construct a beaver dam using structural elements removed from the Olympic Stadium.


Interview Log

Date: 07/18/1976
Present: Dr. I. Achterberg (Researcher, Archives and Revision), Dr. I. Okorie (Researcher, Acroamatic Abatement), Chief M. Strauss (Security and Containment)


Chief Strauss: How are you settling in, 6121-11?

SCP-6121-11: DAM FINE PLACE YOU GOT HERE.

Silence on recording.

Chief Strauss sighs.

SCP-6121-11: DAM FINE PLACE INDEED.

Chief Strauss: Yes. Could you plea—

SCP-6121-11: DAM.

Chief Strauss: Yes, I got that. Could you please tell me where you came from?

SCP-6121-11: DAM SON, THAT'S PERSONAL.

Chief Strauss: Alright.

SCP-6121-11: DON'T ALRIGHT ME, GOD DAM IT.

Chief Strauss: Okay.

Silence on recording.

SCP-6121-11: BEAVER.

"Beaver" on its own does not constitute a joke. I am almost one hundred percent certain of this. [Strauss, Chief M.]

Item #: SCP-6121-21

Date: 05/10/1979

Mascot: An anthropomorphic representation of the concept of "the military," created for the Military Contractors Convention held at Exhibition Place in Toronto, Ontario.

Deviations: The convention's mascot had only existed in iconographic form prior to this manifestation.

Circumstances of Discovery: SCP-6121-21 was discovered in the foyer of a convention centre, quizzing a group of Italian-Canadians about their potential connections to deceased fascist dictator Benito Mussolini.


Interview Log

Date: 05/10/1979
Present: Dr. I. Achterberg (Researcher, Archives and Revision), Dr. E. Falkirk (Site-01 Liaison), Dr. I. Okorie (Researcher, Acroamatic Abatement), Chief M. Strauss (Security and Containment)


SCP-6121-21: WAR.

Dr. Okorie: Good god, y'all.

Silence on recording.

SCP-6121-21: WHAT?

Dr. Okorie: The song. "War."

SCP-6121-21: YOU KNOW WHO ELSE SINGS?

Dr. Okorie: No?

SCP-6121-21: COMMUNISM.

Debriefing Log

Date: 05/10/1979
Present: Dr. V.L. Scout (Director), Dr. I. Achterberg (Researcher, Archives and Revision), Dr. E. Falkirk (Site-01 Liaison), Dr. I. Okorie (Senior Researcher, Acroamatic Abatement), Chief M. Strauss (Security and Containment)


Dr. Scout: What's the current count on 6121 instances?

Chief Strauss: Twenty-one.

Dr. Falkirk: God almighty.

Dr. Scout: This is becoming untenable. Suggestions?

Dr. Okorie: Group containment. There's no reason they all need their own cells.

Chief Strauss: We don't know that. Could be whoever is making them wants us to put them all together. Maybe they, I don't know, turn into some bigger, more horrible, more normal thing.

Dr. Okorie: Maybe if they share a cell, they'll share a brain cell too, and we'll be able to get some answers out of them.

Dr. Falkirk: Maybe we should build a sausage machine.

Dr. Okorie: What?

Dr. Falkirk: You heard me.

Item #: SCP-6121-29

Date: 02/12/1984

Mascot: "Vučko," the wolf mascot of the 1984 Olympic Winter Games in Sarajevo, (then) Yugoslavia.

Deviations: Instead of a wolf, the costume depicts a typical mixed breed canine.

Circumstances of Discovery: SCP-6121-29 was discovered accosting organizers and participants at each athletic event and very loudly speaking his own name, placing particular and undue emphasis on the first syllable (which was pronounced incorrectly).


Interview Log

Date: 02/12/1984
Present: Dr. I. Achterberg (Researcher, Archives and Revision), Dr. A. Euler (Chair, Mimesis and Cryptomancy), Dr. E. Falkirk (Site-01 Liaison), Dr A.J. McInnis (Researcher, Administration and Oversight), Chief M. Strauss (Security and Containment)


Dr. McInnis: I must admit, we're a little confused. You've only appeared at Canadian events thus far, and yet…

SCP-6121-29: BARK!

Dr. McInnis: …I see.

SCP-6121-29: BARK!

Dr. McInnis: You're saying "Bark." As a word.

SCP-6121-29: BARK!

Dr. McInnis: Do you know any other words?

SCP-6121-29: DO YOU KNOW YOUR FACE IS ASYMMETRICAL?

That was hardly proportionate. [McInnis, Dr. A.]

Note: SCP-6121 instances appeared at all Olympic Winter Games from this point forward, regardless of hosting nation.

Item #: SCP-6121-34

Date: 02/14/1988

Mascot: "Howdy," one of the "Hidy and Howdy" duo of cowboy-themed bears which served as the mascots for the 1988 Winter Olympic Games in Calgary, Alberta.

Deviations: The shape of the costume and hat are wrong, as are their colours; furthermore, what at first appears to be a bear costume is, in fact, a particularly portly dog costume.

Circumstances of Discovery: SCP-6121-34 was discovered within the Olympic Village, attempting to create a fort for itself comprised of condoms supplied to Olympic athletes for the first time that year.


Interview Log

Date: 02/14/1988
Present: Dr. I. Achterberg (Researcher, Archives and Revision), Dr. E. Euler (Visiting Fellow, Mimesis and Cryptomancy), Dr. E. Falkirk (Site-01 Liaison), Dr. I. Okorie (Junior Researcher, Acroamatic Abatement), Chief M. Strauss (Security and Containment), Agent O. Ready (Security and Containment)


SCP-6121-34: LUGE!

Dr. Euler: Uh huh. Are you being compelled to say that?

SCP-6121-34: LUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE!

Dr. Euler: That's great. What's the earliest memory you have?

SCP-6121-34: I'M OLYMPIC!

SCP-6121-34 produces a small orange bottle from within its vest, and begins pouring pills over its face and occasionally into its mouth. Security and Containment personnel rush to restrain it.

Debriefing Log

Date: 02/14/1988
Present: Dr. V.L. Scout (Director), Dr. I. Achterberg (Researcher, Archives and Revision), Dr. E. Euler (Visiting Fellow, Mimesis and Cryptomancy), Dr. E. Falkirk (Site-01 Liaison), Dr. I. Okorie (Researcher, Acroamatic Abatement), Chief M. Strauss (Security and Containment), Agent O. Ready (Security and Containment)


Dr. Euler: This week, on Mascot Mayhem…

Dr. Scout: They really are theatrical, aren't they.

Dr. Falkirk: It's definitely a performance. I don't think we should even interview them anymore. We're just giving them what they want. Look at this goddamn crowd…

Dr. Euler: What if what they really want — assuming there's a "they" behind this at all — is for us to get tired of interviewing them, and just stuff them in our holding cells? What if we miss something vital by doing that?

Dr. Falkirk: Yes, I'd hate to miss hearing the precise details of their master plan to annoy the bejesus out of everyone in hearing range.

Chief Strauss: Whose mascot are you, Edwin?

Silence on recording.

Chief Strauss: In unrelated news, tomorrow's my last day.

Item #: SCP-6121-37

Date: 08/19/1992

Mascot: Flippy the Frog, one of a series of mascots for the Downward Spiral Water Park located in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.

Deviations: The frog's costume is green instead of blue, and contains a large enough mouth and capacious enough throat to contain an entire human child.

Circumstances of Discovery: SCP-6121-37 was discovered in the process of "eating" twelve-year-old Gregory Kaplin, causing no actual harm but considerable distress; it had performed this action intermittently (with multiple subjects involved) for two days before coming to Foundation attention.


Interview Log

Date: 11/19/1992
Present: Dr. I. Achterberg (Researcher, Archives and Revision), Dr. C. Bold (Director, Decommissioning Department), Dr. E. Euler (Visiting Fellow, Mimesis and Cryptomancy), Dr. E. Falkirk (All-Sections Chief), Dr. I. Okorie (Researcher, Acroamatic Abatement), Chief O. Ready (Security and Containment), Specialist N. Zaman (Psychology and Parapsychology)


SCP-6121-37: GOT ANY CHILDREN?

Specialist Zaman: Yes, I have a son and a daugh—

SCP-6121-37: CAN I EAT THEM?

Silence on recording.

SCP-6121-37: YOU LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF DUDE WHO'D HAVE REALLY EDIBLE CHILDREN, IS ALL.

If I did something specific to get stuck on cannibal duty, I'd really like to know what it was. [Zaman, Specialist N.]

Item #: SCP-6121-41 to SCP-6121-44

Date: 02/11/1998

Mascot: Sukki, Nokki, Lekki and Tsukki, four owlets who performed joint mascot service for the 1998 Winter Olympic Games at Nagano, Japan.

Deviations: All four instances are instead wearing chicken suits.

Circumstances of Discovery: SCP-6121-41 was discovered following random civilians around the Olympic grounds, cheeping and occasionally hooting loudly. SCP-6121-42, -43 and -44 were discovered in a nearby park, breaking the branches off every tree by attempting to stand on them.


Interview Log

Date: 02/11/1998
Present: Dr. I. Achterberg (Senior Researcher, Archives and Revision), Dr. H. Blank (Researcher, Archives and Revision), Dr. C. Bold (Director, Decommissioning Department), Dr. E. Euler (Visiting Fellow, Memetics and Countermemetics), [REDACTED] (All-Sections Chief), Dr. L. Lillihammer (Researcher, Identity and Technocryptography), Dr. B. Del Olmo (Chair, Memetics and Countermemetics), Chief O. Ready (Security and Containment), Specialist N. Zaman (Hiring and Regulation)


SCP-6121-43: CHEEP.

SCP-6121-42: CHEEP.

SCP-6121-44: CHEEP.

Chief Ready: Okay—

SCP-6121-41: HOOT.

Chief Ready: OKAY!

Silence on recording.

Chief Ready: I have a question.

SCP-6121-41: SHOOT.

Chief Ready: Why d—

He pauses.

Chief Ready: Did you say "shoot?"

SCP-6121-41: HOOT.

Silence on recording.

Chief Ready: Why do you only appear for the Winter Olympics?

SCP-6121-44: CANADA!

SCP-6121-41: CANADA!

SCP-6121-43: CHEEP!

Chief Ready: Nagano is in Japan. The winter games aren't exclusively Canadian.

SCP-6121-44: NO?

Chief Ready: No.

SCP-6121-42: NO?

Chief Ready: No.

SCP-6121-43: NO?

Chief Ready: No!

SCP-6121-41: ALRIGHT.

Debriefing Log

Date: 02/11/1998
Present: Dr. A.J. McInnis (Director), Dr. I. Achterberg (Senior Researcher, Archives and Revision), Dr. H. Blank (Researcher, Archives and Revision), Dr. C. Bold (Director, Decommissioning Department), Dr. E. Euler (Visiting Fellow, Memetics and Countermemetics), [REDACTED] (All-Sections Chief), Dr. L. Lillihammer (Researcher, Identity and Technocryptography), Dr. B. Del Olmo (Chair, Memetics and Countermemetics), Chief O. Ready (Security and Containment), Specialist N. Zaman (Hiring and Regulation)


Dr. Lillihammer: I have a theory.

Dr. Blank: What else is new?

Dr. Lillihammer: Well, that's the thing, actually. What if these subjects represent a shift in the pattern of anomaly creation? What if the only thing linking them together is their shared expression of something in the human zeitgeist? You read the first interview logs, right? Strauss was completely baffled by that fucking owl.

Dir. McInnis: It still baffles me.

Dr. Lillihammer: Yeah, well, you're old.

Dr. Blank: Lyle…

Dr. Lillihammer: You're old too, on the inside. You need to loosen up. Sometimes a funny mascot is just a funny mascot.

Dr. Blank: I think they're funny too! I just don't know if that means they aren't a problem.

Chief Ready: They obviously are a problem. There's forty-four of the bastards now, and Lord knows how much electricity and paperwork and productivity it's cost us to keep a lid on them.

Dr. Blank: And we haven't learned a damn thing in all this time.

Dir. McInnis: It's hard to collect data without performing comparisons. There's still nothing to compare them with.

Chief Ready: And there never will be.

Dr. Lillihammer: Oh, come on. We don't know that.

Chief Ready: I'm no scientist, Dr. Lillihammer, but I'm fairly certain that nearly four decades of nothing happening is a statistically relevant trend.

Dr. Lillihammer: You're right.

Chief Ready: Thank you.

Dr. Lillihammer: You're no scientist.

Note: SCP-6121 instances ceased to appear at the Olympic Winter Games from this point forward. All other manifestations continued as per usual.


Addendum 6121-2, Present Status: On the containment of the fiftieth instance of SCP-6121, the Overwatch Council appointed a Special Counsel to discuss this SCP object with the Director, Chairs and Chiefs of Site-43. An excerpt of their meeting is presented below.

Debriefing Log

Date: 10/09/2008
Present: Dr. A.J. McInnis (Director), Dr. A. Clef (Special Counsel), [REDACTED] (All-Sections Chief), Dr. H. Blank (Chair, Archives and Revision), Dr. T. Bremmel (Chair, Research and Experimentation), Dr. X. Du (Chair, Quantum Supermechanics), Chief D. Ibanez (Security and Containment), Dr. E. LeClair (Chair, Health and Pathology), Dr. L. Lillihammer (Chair, Memetics and Countermemetics), I. Mitchum (Chair, Administration and Oversight), Dr. M. Nass (Chair, Theology and Teleology), Chief N. Nascimbeni (Janitorial and Maintenance), Dr. N. Ngo (Chair, Psychology and Parapsychology), Dr. U. Okorie (Chair, Applied Occultism), Chief R. Ullis (Pursuit and Suppression), Dr. E. Veiksaar (Chief, Identity and Technocryptography), Chief N. Zaman (Hiring and Regulation)


Dir. McInnis: Yes, but that's precisely my point. They aren't dangerous at all.

Dr. Clef: Who's talking about danger? Let's talk logistics: they're bleeding you like a stuck pig.

Dir. McInnis: Nonsense. These subjects have never once escaped containment. They're model…

Dr. Clef: Model what? Model prisoners, you were going to say? Because you're not running a prison here, McInnis, you're running an R&C Site.

Chief Ibanez: He's right.

Dr. Clef: Hot stuff says I'm right.

Chief Ibanez: Hot stuff can reach your tie from where she's sitting, doctor. But here's what you're right about: in a prison, they let you out of your cell occasionally, to stretch your legs and pursue a hobby. These things are just rotting away in there, because Overwatch is scared to let them out.

Dr. Clef: Well, first off: my tie is booby-trapped. Second: they don't rot; if they did rot, this wouldn't be as much of a problem! Third: what the fuck would you even do with them? They're gibbering idiots.

Dr. Lillihammer: We could make them Special Counsels.

Dr. Clef: Cute. No, really, you're v—

Dir. McInnis: We've put in a number of proposals. 6121 instances are completely harmless. Do you know how many of our facilities have on-site daycare? I'm sure children would love to watch one of our fuzzy friends fall flat on its face all day. And on the topic of logistics, what about the D-Class shortage?

Dr. Clef: Hm.

Dr. Bremmel: And again, they never rot. Nor do they eat, or sleep, or do anything but clown and caper around like little balls of infinite energy. Put them on a treadmill, for god's sake! Make a perpetual motion machine out of them!

Dr. Clef: Enh. None of this is doing it for me. I think you've all gone soft, and you're coddling these things. I'm going to recommend you send the whole kit and kaboodle to Site-19.

Silence on recording.

Dr. McInnis: I strenuously object. Do I have any seconds?

The assembled Chairs and Chiefs all raise their hands.

Dr. Clef: Cool. Any of you seconds got Overseer clearance?

Dr. Clef successfully petitioned the O5 Council to authorize the transfer of all SCP-6121 instances to Site-19. Upon arrival in containment at that facility, they were placed under his exclusive purview.


NOTICE!

A Security Clearance Level 3+ discussion has been initiated regarding this file!

ALL-SITES INTERLINK ACTIVATED

All-Sites Interlink

  • P_Lague_322 (Director Paul Lague) has initiated discussion.

P_Lague_322: CAPSLOCK CREW

  • H_Blank_43 (Dr. Harold R. Blank) has joined the discussion.

H_Blank_43: What?

P_Lague_322: @J_Dune_179 check it out
P_Lague_322: for the Integration Program

  • J_Dune_179 (Dr. Jay Dune) has joined the discussion.

H_Blank_43: Okay, but
H_Blank_43: Wait a second

J_Dune_179: yoooooooo
J_Dune_179: lmao
J_Dune_179: HOOT HOOT MOTHER FUCKER

P_Lague_322: You had a whole stable of stable humanoids this entire time, Harry? They could've been out of containment and doing some good! Is that not your signature on the Vegas Accords? Get with the Program.

J_Dune_179: we need these guys
J_Dune_179: we'll take em all

P_Lague_322: Right?

J_Dune_179: except the racist one

P_Lague_322: Do we talk to you or Clef? Please don't say Clef

H_Blank_43: You gentlemen are aware that this is an archived document? The current version is here.

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