Item#: 7692
Level2
Containment Class:
euclid
Secondary Class:
none
Disruption Class:
vlam
Risk Class:
warning
Special Containment Procedures: Several thousand Foundation-owned Twitch accounts have been created for the purpose of containing SCP-7692. Whenever a giveaway is run on SCP-7692, these accounts are to enter it from a computer located at least 30 meters away from any infrastructure and personnel. This computer must not contain any data not recorded elsewhere. In the event a civilian-owned account wins a giveaway hosted on SCP-7692, the associated SCP-7692-2 instance is to be removed and witnesses are to be amnesticized and provided an appropriate cover story for damages. Investigation into the identity and motives of SCP-7692-1 is ongoing.
Description: SCP-7692 is a Twitch channel, currently named "Real Human: Games and Giveaways", run by an unknown individual provisionally designated SCP-7692-1. The channel's content mostly consists of the host playing various games, as well as regularly hosting "Sub Giveaways". When one of these giveaways ends, a submarine appears above the device the winning entry was made from, often damaging property and injuring the winner.
Home of an SCP-7692 giveaway winner.
These submarines are designated SCP-7692-2. The source of SCP-7692-2 instances is unknown See addendum.
Attempts to get the channel taken down result in the channel returning under a slightly different name within a few days. This does not appear to be an anomalous property and is believed to simply be SCP-7692-1 creating a new account.
Transcripts of some of the channel's streams are included below.
- Close
Date: 15/7/2022
Game played: Minecraft
Foreword: This stream led to the anomaly's discovery by the Foundation. It is not known with certainty how long the channel was active prior to this point.
SCP-7692-1: Welcome, fellow humans! As usual, we have a sub giveaway going on, so make sure to join! I have heard this Minecraft game is very popular! So uh… how do I play this?
[SCP-7692-1 pauses to read the chat.]
SCP-7692-1: "Punch trees, get tools", "build a house", "build a base". Hmm…
[SCP-7692-1 is heard placing something on the table and turning pages.]
SCP-7692-1: B… B-A… Base! "The bottommost part of a structure". Seems like a strange place to build a house, but what do I know?
[SCP-7692-1 spends several minutes gathering basic tools and building materials.]
SCP-7692-1: Right! Time to build this house!
[SCP-7692-1 begins digging directly downward.]
SCP-7692-1: Wow, we're getting pretty deep-
[The player character falls into a pit of lava.]
SCP-7692-1: What?! What's the orange stuff? Why am I taking damage?
[The player character dies and respawns on the surface, losing all the items SCP-7692-1 gathered in the process. SCP-7692-1 reads the chat.]
SCP-7692-1: It's lava? But why would that- oh right, I am a normal human who cannot withstand such high temperatures. I am so fragile. Ha ha. But in brighter news, our giveaway has ended! Congratulations to DirtEater69!
Note: As DirtEater69's residence happened to be near that of Dr. ██████, the appearance of the associated SCP-7692-2 instance was noticed almost immediately. While Dr. ██████ was initially believed to be the target of an attempted assassination, testimony from the victim quickly revealed the true nature of the incident and provisional containment procedures were implemented soon after.
- Close
Date: 22/7/2022
Game played: Bloons TD 6
Foreword: This is the first stream hosted after provisional containment procedures were implemented.
SCP-7692-1: Welcome, fellow humans! Today we will be playing the monkey game! As always, we have a sub giveaway going on so make sure you join!
[SCP-7692-1 begins an Easy game on Monkey Meadow.]
SCP-7692-1: Hmm, how shall we start? Oh, a pirate!
[SCP-7692-1 attempts to place a Monkey Buccaneer but fails due to the lack of water on the map.]
SCP-7692-1: Well, that's disappointing. What about this fellow? He said nothing gets past his bow!
[SCP-7692-1 selects Quincy.]
SCP-7692-1: Now, monkeys are like humans and humans cannot withstand extreme temperatures. Better take some precautions, we don't want him overheating!
[SCP-7692-1 places Quincy under a tree in the top-left corner of the map. In this position, Quincy can only reach a small portion of the track.]
SCP-7692-1: Look how well he's doing! Truly nothing gets past that bow!
[A single Bloon escapes on round 3.]
SCP-7692-1: Liar.
[SCP-7692-1 quits the game and begins a new one on Infernal, repeatedly attempting to place Quincy inside the volcano.]
SCP-7692-1: As humans like myself say, liar liar, pants on fire! Although on the plus side, it looks like we can start with a pirate this time!
[SCP-7692-1 places a Buccaneer in the upper pool of water and clears the first round.]
SCP-7692-1: Huh? Why are the arrows on the bottom now? [Starts round] What are the balloons doing there?
[SCP-7692-1 places a Dart Monkey on the bottom path, successfully popping all the Bloons, then starts the next round. The Bloons are back to the top path.]
SCP-7692-1: Looks like that was just a glitch.
[Round 4 starts. The Bloons return to the lower path. The Dart Monkey is unable to pop all of them.]
SCP-7692-1: Forget it, this game is too hard.
[SCP-7692-1 closes the game.]
SCP-7692-1: Oh, we have a winner for the giveaway! Well done, SuperCauliflowerPrawn!
Note: The device used to enter the giveaway was destroyed as expected, but no civilians were harmed by or witness to the SCP-7692-2 instance. Containment procedures were soon formalized.
Addendum:
Shortly after the end of the SCP-7692 stream on 22/7/2022, Agent █████████, a Foundation spy active within the US Navy, sent the following message.
From: [REDACTED]@SCiPnet.fdn
To: ndf.tenPiCS|yelworcenna#ndf.tenPiCS|yelworcenna
Subject: URGENT
Commander Crowley,
I know this isn't exactly standard email formatting but I figured it was best you knew about this as soon as possible. When a crew was about to board their sub, it vanished. No trace of it at all. Considering this was the same model reported in the latest SCP-7692 incident, I have a sneaking suspicion about where these subs are coming from. Before you ask, I did amnesticize the witnesses and convinced them there had been a last minute reassignment. But I won't be there for every incident, so if we don't deal with this channel soon it's only a matter of time before the feds notice, and they're not going to be happy.
Regards,
Agent █████████
In response to this message, identifying the source of SCP-7692 was prioritized.
- Close
Date: 29/7/2022
Game played: Octodad: Dadliest Catch
[SCP-7692-1 is in the supermarket.]
SCP-7692-1: Welcome, fellow humans! Today we will be playing the squid game, and don't forget to join the sub giveaway!
[SCP-7692-1 reads the chat.]
SCP-7692-1: Oh, sorry, the octopus game. What's so funny about a squid game? Anyway, we must do the shopping!
[SCP-7692-1 finds the "Mintcraft" display in the store.]
SCP-7692-1: Well, I didn't expect to find you again! Let's finish that house!
[SCP-7692-1 grabs a pickaxe model off the wall and attempts to dig through the floor.]
SCP-7692-1: Hmm, this doesn't seem to be working. Right, onto the very unrelateable experience of shopping while pretending to be human!
[SCP-7692-1 drops the pickaxe and continues playing through the game.]
SCP-7692-1: "Get a sushi sample". Right, I can do that!
[SCP-7692-1 gets the sample, triggering an encounter with the game's antagonist, Chef Fujimoto.]
SCP-7692-1: Agh! Not you again! I am a normal human, not an octopus, you must be mistaken-
[Fujimoto catches the player character, sending SCP-7692-1 back to its last checkpoint.]
SCP-7692-1: Well, that's annoying. While we have a little break in proceedings, this is actually my first sponsored stream! Uh, where did I put it?
[The sound of shuffling papers can be heard.]
SCP-7692-1: Ah, here we are! This stream is sponsored by NordVPN. Are you tired of finding your content blocked?
[Sound of pages turning.]
SCP-7692-1: B… B-L… B-L-O… ah, here we are! "To prevent an attack from landing". How you ended up in a fight with your content isn't really my business, but I'm sure it's happened to some of you. You should try NordVPN! Here, I'll give you a demonstration, let me just turn off my other one.
[SCP-7692-1 disables its VPN before activating NordVPN. This creates a brief window in which its location can be tracked.]
SCP-7692-1: NordVPN allows you to bypass content blocks! You can now win your content fights with ease!
[Several minutes of irrelevant footage omitted.]
SCP-7692-1: No, you're a misinterpretation! If sushi's not made of astronauts, why does it have "sus" in it- oh, the giveaway's ended! Congratulations to SkepticalCatPolice!
Note: During the brief period when SCP-7692-1 had no VPN active, its location was tracked to Roswell, New Mexico, but a more specific location could not be identified. Mobile Task Force Pi-1 (“City Slickers”) was assigned to monitor the area in case SCP-7692-1 did anything to reveal itself.
For the first five days after deployment, MTF Pi-1 reported nothing of note. On 28/7/2022, the following was recorded by Agent Oak's bodycam.
[BEGIN LOG]
[The task force is in a van belonging to Skin Care Professionals, a Foundation front company.]
Oak: I'm so bored.
Cooper: I feel ya. Although considering our line of work, maybe being bored is a good thing.
Owens: Wait is that-
[Owens points to a truck owned by "United Interstate Undertakers", a known Unusual Incidents Unit front company.]
Cooper: What are they doing here?
Oak: Command, we have UIU presence here. I don't think this is a coincidence. Permission to tail them?
Command: Granted.
[The team follows the truck. Several minutes of extraneous footage have been omitted.]
Oak: They're slowing down, we must be getting close.
[The truck stops by a house. There is no sign of any unusual activity save for the presence of several UIU agents surrounding the house. The team stop.]
Cooper: Command, advise?
Command: Don't antagonize them, but be ready to engage. We don't know what's going on in there.
[The team leave the van, ready their weapons and wait. A UIU agent exits the truck. They say something into their radio, prompting the other agents to take aim at the door. The agent knocks.]
Unknown: Hello? Who's there?
Agent: We're, uh, delivering a pizza.
Unknown: Hmm, I don't remember ordering a pizza…
Agent: Oh, uh-
Unknown: Although I might have ordered one and forgotten about it. Here, I'll check. Just gimme a second.
[Several noises are heard from inside the house. The agent backs up. The door opens, revealing a cephalopod-like creature wearing ill-fitting clothes, a pom-pom as a wig and sunglasses. This entity is presumed to be SCP-7692-1.]
SCP-7692-1: Sorry about the delay I… don't… see any pizza. OH NO, THE OCTOPUS GAME WAS A WARNING, I AM GOING TO BE EATEN!
[SCP-7692-1 attempts to shut the door but the agent prevents it from closing with the barrel of their gun.]
Agent: What? We're not going to eat you! Just cooperate and nobody gets hurt!
SCP-7692-1: Well, if you're not going to eat me, what are you doing here?
Agent: Don't play dumb. We know you've been stealing subs and dropping them on people.
SCP-7692-1: Everyone does that! Is this just because I'm an ali- I mean very normal human?
Agent: What do you mean "everyone does that"?!
[SCP-7692-1 points a screen through the gap in the door. The contents cannot be made out at Oak's distance.]
Agent: What does this have to do with anything?
SCP-7692-1: Look, he's running a sub giveaway and you're not hunting him down! Unless you've got another team-
Agent: What do you think "sub giveaway" means?
[Sound of turning pages.]
SCP-7692-1: Sub: Short for submarine-
Agent: Do me a favor and check the other definitions.
SCP-7692-1: The other numbers? I don't see what they're for but sure. 2. Short for subscriber. [Sound of pages turning.] Subscriber: 1. Someone who follows a given social media account. Oh.
Agent: Do you even realise how many people have been hurt because of you?
SCP-7692-1: But wouldn't they be fine in a few hours?
Agent: I'm not going to pretend to understand how your species works, but humans can't recover from being squashed that quickly.
SCP-7692-1: …oh.
[SCP-7692-1 releases the door and is apprehended by the agent.]
Agent: …now what do we do with this guy?
[Another UIU agent approaches.]
Agent 2: How about we ask those guys? Looks like they're with the Foundation.
Agent: Wha-how long have you been there?!
Agent 2: Was I really the only one to notice?
Oak: Yes, we're Foundation. How did you find him?
Agent: The government noticed a submarine missing, with the crew meant to board all claiming to have been reassigned, and suspected sabotage. We were sent to investigate, with a healthy increase in funding. So we slipped a little thaumaturgic tracker on as many subs as possible to trace whatever was teleporting them and tracked it back to here.
Oak: I see.
Agent: Expect we don't know anything about this guy's abilities or needs, so we don't really have anywhere we can safely put him.
SCP-7692-1: My house, maybe?
[Something falls out of SCP-7692-1's pocket. Agent 2 picks it up, revealing it to be a poorly forged passport.]
Forged passport confiscated from SCP-7692-1.
Agent 2: Really? "Assport"?
SCP-7692-1: …fine, I didn't exactly go through border control to get here. I thought this would be the last place anyone would look!
Oak: There's a Site near here that should be able to hold him for a while until we can figure out something more permanent. We can take him there.
[END LOG]
SCP-7692-1 agreed to shut down SCP-7692 in exchange for being returned to its home planet. Reclassification to Neutralized pending.