Oh, fortuitous day! We shall begin immediately! Quickly, brother, utilize the rodent device!
Item #: SCP-8146
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Foundation webcrawlers are to monitor the internet for any mention of SCP-8146 or content regarding/created by the anomaly. When found, content is to be summarily deleted when possible. When not possible, low-level Foundation antiperceptive cognitohazards are to be implanted within the relevant webpages to discourage web traffic.
In addition, a variant of Cover Story RTV-985 has been and will continue to be disseminated in relevant areas, insinuating that SCP-8146 is an elaborate act of online performance art using special effects, with all involved persons being especially committed to maintaining character. False interviews using Foundation personnel have been integrated into the cover story, as well as fabricated "behind-the-scenes" footage.
Efforts to locate the origin of SCP-8146 are underway. SCP-8146 is currently believed to originate from an unknown location in/around Los Angeles county in California, United States. Any witnesses to public appearances of SCP-8146 entities are to be interviewed and subsequently amnesticized following standard procedure.
Description: SCP-8146 is the collective designation for the Twitch.tv channel "BoldMissionOfInternetStreamingToHonorOurMaster", the entities upholding it, and any extant phenomenon resulting from such. The channel itself is largely non-anomalous, however all attempts at preventing and/or tracking uploads to the channel or blocking web traffic from reaching it have been met with failure. SCP-8146 follows an approximately-weekly upload schedule, with streams usually beginning Fridays at 5-8 PM PST and lasting for an average of 4 hours.
SCP-8146's streams (and it is assumed the channel itself) are run by several humanoid entities of unknown origin, which are divided into four SCP-8146-1 instances and one SCP-8146-2 instance. The streams usually consist of the SCP-8146-1 entities collaboratively attempting to engage in activities similar to other popular streaming channels, while being observed by SCP-8146-2.
SCP-8146-1 are four identical humanoid entities dressed in simple black robes and bearing white masks with four openings, assumed to be for vision. Each instance stands approximately 1.3 meters tall. All SCP-8146-1 entities are excitable and appear to have little sense of individuality, as they insist upon collaborating with each other on almost all tasks regardless of how many persons the task at hand actually requires. The entities also display a near-universal level of general ineptitude and low intelligence. The instances converse in english, and refer to each other only as "brother" or "brothers".
SCP-8146-2 is a 2 meter tall humanoid entity dressed in elaborate black robes with ornamental shoulderpads and long boots. Its head structure consists of several rows of intricate horn-like protrusions wrapping around a central glowing core, which is shielded from view by several veils. On occasions where the entity has removed its garments, it has shown a heavily-muscled humanoid body with pitch-black skin. SCP-8146-2 has demonstrated multiple potent anomalous abilities including advanced thaumaturgy, short-range telekinesis, extreme strength and endurance, gravity manipulation and selective immunity to the third law of Newtonian motion. It communicates via hand gestures and by emitting loud sonic shockwaves or "bellows" from its entire head structure. The entity demonstrates a primarily relaxed personality, normally sitting motionless on a couch or other seat to observe the SCP-8146-1 entities and only occasionally intervening. The SCP-8146-1 instances refer to SCP-8146-2 as "Master" or "the Master".
Archived Stream Logs:
- Hide Log
Stream 8146-V-S07
Original Stream Date: Aug. 5th 2019, 4:30 PM PST
Original Stream Title: Earth-Delving and Assemblage of Goods for the Glory of the Master!
Peak Viewers: 188
[BEGIN LOG]
The stream begins showing the title menu of the popular video game Minecraft. In the bottom-right corner of the screen is another camera view showing the interior of a small apartment. In the foreground are all four SCP-8146-1 instances in front of a desktop PC. Three of the entities are crowded onto a single high-end gaming chair, and the fourth is crouched on top of the desk with both hands on the computer's mouse. In the background, SCP-8146-2 can be seen reclining on a sofa.
SCP-8146-1-A: Hello, eyes and ears of the one known as chat! Today, we shall be setting out on a journey of great squareness!
SCP-8146-1-B: Yes, we are playing the popular video-game Mi Necraft!
SCP-8146-1-C: —Minecraft, brother.
SCP-8146-1-B: Yes, Minecraft! We have been told that great bounties lie below the earth, and so we shall excavate them—
All 8146-1 instances, in unison: —FOR THE GLORY OF OUR MASTER!
SCP-8146-2 turns its head towards the camera and casually waves its right hand from the couch.
SCP-8146-1-A: A blessing! My brothers, we have been blessed by the Master!
SCP-8146-1-D: Oh, fortuitous day! We shall begin immediately! Quickly, brother, utilize the rodent device!
SCP-8146-1-C, the instance kneeling on the table nods excitedly and moves the mouse with both arms.
1-C: "Singleplayer' or 'Multiplayer', brothers? Or perhaps the mysterious 'Quit Game'?
All SCP-8146-1 instances engage in intense, hushed discussion for several seconds.
1-A: Multiplayer. We are multiples.
1-B: Impeccable logic, brother!
SCP-8146-1-C selects the 'Multiplayer' option from the main menu.
1-D: Wonderful, wonderful! Now, we must select 'Start New World'.
All instances pause as SCP-8146-1-C inspects the screen.
1-C: …My brothers, this, this cannot be! The option to 'Start New World' seems to be missing!
[2 HOURS AND 43 MINUTES OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
The SCP-8146-1 instances have successfully created a singleplayer survival world. After acquiring several items including an iron pickaxe, they have entered a cave system in search of gold ore for the stated purpose of "Erecting an opulent monument". Instances 1-A and 1-D are operating the keyboard while 1-C operates the mouse, and 1-B is repeatedly chanting crafting recipes to itself in an attempt to memorize them.
1-B: An anvil needs four ingots, three blocks, all iron. Four ingots, three blocks, all iron…
1-D: Proceed forwards, brother! I am holding the shift key, so we shall not plummet from the edge!
1-A: Understood. Maintain steady pressure upon the key, brother, for there is lava far beneath us. A most perilous hazard!
The instances proceed further into the cave. SCP-8146-1-C, manning the mouse, suddenly moves its face closer to the screen.
1-C: Brothers, look!
1-A: I am looking, brother, but I may not believe my eyes! A glint of blue in the darkness!
1-C: Diamonds, brother, diamonds!
1-B: …An enchanting table is four obsidian, two diamonds, and a book. A book is leather and three paper…
1-D: Yes! More valuable than even gold! We must retrieve it posthaste!
The instances collectively approach the diamond ore in-game, and begin attempting to mine it with their pickaxe.
1-B: …For the obsidian, a diamond pickaxe is needed for mining. Obsidian is made with lava and water…
1-B: …Lava. LAVA! Brothers, be careful, the diamond will fall!
All SCP-8146-1 instances begin clamoring wildly as the mined ore breaks, and the diamond drops down towards the lava. SCP-8146-1-D releases the shift key, causing the player character to lurch forwards over the edge, catching the diamond midair.
1-D: —I've got it! I've—
The player character falls a short distance before landing on a stone surface next to the lava stream, killing them. Their items are dropped, and the diamond lands in the flow and is destroyed. All SCP-8146-1 instances immediately fall silent, before slowly turning to face SCP-8146-2. All entities are still for a moment, before SCP-8146-2 emits a bellow sufficiently loud to cause the entire room to violently shake as its head core glows an intense red. All SCP-8146-1 instances immediately throw themselves to the floor and begin genuflecting in front of the entity while speaking over each other.
1-A: Master! We, we have failed you!
1-C: —A thousand apologies! We are unworthy, we must—
1-B: —Master, it wasn't our fault! It was all because of—
[7 MINUTES OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
The SCP-8146-1 instances' self-beration is interrupted by another, quieter bellow from SCP-8146-2 as its head core glows a dull yellow. The other entities immediately cease vocalizing, and sit at attention. SCP-8146-1-D sniffles.
1-A: …But, but Master!
SCP-8146-2 emits one additional bellow, before standing up and walking to the computer. It selects the "respawn" option, opens the game's command input function and sets the "KeepInventory" gamerule to true. It then returns to the couch and resumes its prior position exactly. The SCP-8146-1 instances remain seated for a moment before getting up and congregating around the computer once more.
1-B: …This mode is for babies.
SCP-8146-1-C smacks SCP-8146-1-B upside the head.
[48 MINUTES OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
[END LOG]
Twitch emote ":masterdispleased:" depicting SCP-8146-2.
- Hide Log- Hide Log
Stream 8146-V-S12
Original Stream Date: Aug. 31st 2019, 1:02 PM PST
Original Stream Title: Accompanying our Glorious Master on an Extermination Excursion of Great Importance!
Peak Viewers: 109
[BEGIN LOG]
The stream begins, recording from a handheld camera held by a SCP-8146-1 instance. All five entities are present, and appear to be in freefall in low earth orbit. The entity holding the camera appears to be attempting to speak into it, but no speech is audible past the sound of rushing air. The entity does not appear aware of this. Another SCP-8146-1 instance is holding a sports water bottle and attempting to 'swim' through the air towards SCP-8146-2, which is remaining perfectly rigid in the air with its legs straight and arms crossed, facing downwards. The remaining SCP-8146-1 instances can be seen pinwheeling wildly through the air close by.
After speaking for several seconds the instance holding the camera points towards one of the idle SCP-8146-1 instances, which waves as it unsuccessfully attempts to stop spinning. The instance with the water bottle inadvertently enters a roll, and several packaged energy bars fall out of its pocket and are blown away.
[17 MINUTES OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
The entities have maintained their freefall. SCP-8146-2 has not moved, and the other entities have managed to drift closer together. One of the instances struggles to move towards the instance with the camera, gesturing frantically at a book it is holding in one hand. As it approaches, the title of the book can be seen: "Tactical HALO Insertion For Dummies". The cameraman waves at them, seemingly oblivious. The shape of the South American continent is visible below the entities.
[8 MINUTES OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
SCP-8146-2 begins to move, extending one of its arms downwards with an open hand and bringing the other back in a tight fist. All SCP-8146-1 instances except for the one holding the book gesture in excitement, kicking their feet wildly and pumping their fists. The instance holding the book has remained in the fetal position with its eyes covered for 6 minutes. The cameraman points the camera downwards as the entities begin rapidly approaching the ground, where a large writhing pale-green mass can be seen. Several seconds later, all five entities hit the ground and the camera feed cuts out. Frame-by-frame analysis reveals SCP-8146-2 throwing a downwards punch immediately before impact, striking the green mass.
[END LOG]
Note: The landing site of the anomalies was successfully triangulated to ██████, Chile 2 hours after the stream concluded, and Foundation agents arrived after an additional 1 hour and 54 minutes. A crater approximately 410 meters in diameter was found, with remnants of heavily-damaged pale-green organic matter scattered throughout, matching the mass shown during the stream. The matter did not match any known species when tested, but did demonstrate slightly elevated levels of Akiva radiation, which dissipated over the course of 4 hours. No traces of the SCP-8146 entities were found, aside from several packaged energy bars dispersed throughout the area.
- Hide Log- Hide Log
Stream 8146-V-S18
Original Stream Date: Sep. 18th 2019, 4:59 PM PST
Original Stream Title: The Master's Most Loyal Servants Perform the Hot Tub Meta
Peak Viewers: 216
[BEGIN LOG]
The stream begins, showing the interior of the apartment frequently used by SCP-8146. In the center of the room is a massive cast-iron cauldron, filled with water. Two of the SCP-8146-1 instances are gathered around the cauldron, while a third is operating the computer running the stream. A fourth is standing in front of the camera, looking back at the entity in front of the computer. SCP-8146-2 can be seen towards the rear of the room, seated on a lifeguard's chair that has been brought into the apartment. The legs of the chair have been snapped off in order for the chair to fit indoors.1-A: —we're live.
1-B: Okay. Greetings, chat of the hundred eyes!
1-A: Or alternative sensory organs!
1-B: On this day, we most loyal servants of our Master will partake in leaping upon the bandworgen, for we have prepared—
SCP-8146-1-B gestures dramatically to the cauldron with both hands.
1-B: —A hot tub!
1-C: A most curious vessel, brothers! It reminds me of our reconstitution vats.
1-D: Except substantially less green, brother.
1-B: A most astute observation, brother! Our research indicates that it is used for a similar purpose: the refreshment of beleaguered body and soul!
All SCP-8146-1 instances murmur in excitement.
1-A: Fascinating, brother. How does it accomplish such a thing without greenness?
1-D: Will we all get a turn?
1-B: Patience, brother. I drew the longest gherkin, so I shall go first.
1-A: Besides, the tub must still be brought to the appropriate temperature! Right now, it is merely a hotless tub!
1-B: Indeed! Brother, fetch the heating element, and I shall don the ritual garment!
Instance 1-C nods, and both it and 1-B exit the frame.
1-D: …In the meantime, I, ah, shall entertain!
1-A: An act of great courage, brother! I will monitor the chat to assess their response.
SCP-8146-2 emits a quiet bellow, its head core pulsing teal, and nods.
1-D: Yes! Yes, it shall be done! For the glory of our Master! Behold!
Instance 1-D steps in front of the camera, and awkwardly attempts to perform several breakdancing moves. After approximately a minute has passed, 1-A speaks.
1-A: Brother, a speaker from the chat states… "go white boy go."
Instance 1-D immediately falls over from where it had been attempting a headstand, before standing up and quickly looking around the room.
1-D: A white boy? Where? Oof—Their silk is worth a fortune!
[3 MINUTES OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
1-B: We return!
Instance 1-B re-enters the camera frame, wearing a string bikini swimsuit over its robes. Instance 1-C follows shortly afterwards, wearing oven mitts, a heavy smithing apron and a welding mask. It is using a pair of metalworking tongs to hold a superheated lump of an unknown material.
1-C: The gem of Morzzon is prepared, brothers.
1-B: As am I!
1-A: Then we shall begin, brothers! For the glory—and viewing pleasure of—the Master!
Instance 1-B climbs into the cauldron, immersed up to its chest.
1-B: Tub prepared, brother! Deploy the hot!
Instance 1-C drops the heated object into the cauldron, causing an immediate explosion of steam and scalding water to obscure both entities from view. Instance 1-C quickly moves out of the cloud and back into view as intense screaming can be heard, and begins frantically removing its now-drenched apron and mitts.
1-C: —Ah, Ooh, hot, hot, hot, hot—
1-D: It appears to be working, brothers! The tub is bubbling nicely, just as intended.
1-A: Hooray! A grand success!
1-B: [Screaming]
1-A: …Are you quite alright, brother?
1-C: —Hot, hot, hot—
1-D: Worry not, brother, my research has indicated that the noise you hear is merely heated air escaping the shell!
1-A: Ah, I see.
The other SCP-8146-1 instances continue to calmly observe the cauldron. Enough steam has dispersed that instance 1-B can be seen flailing frantically in the now-boiling water, continuing to scream loudly. Several seconds pass.
1-A: …Do we have shells, brothers?
Instance 1-D cups its hands to the approximate location of a mouth on its face.
1-D: (Loudly) Brother, we cannot hear your speech over the air-noise. Perhaps an alternate method of communication can be sought?
Instance 1-B continues screaming and thrashing, but its arms immediately cease flailing and begin calmly performing ASL. The entity signs "Gem too long time in microwave but bubbles very tickle and relax", waits briefly until instance 1-D responds, then resumes flailing with its arms.
1-D: Ah, I see. It seems the temperature may be slightly in excess, brothers.
1-C: It cannot be so, brother! Whenever I tested the gem at lower temperatures, the signature roiling surface-waters of the hot tub did not appear.
SCP-8146-2's head core glows yellow, and it emits a low, trilling bellow. It steps down from the lifeguard chair and begins removing its robes.
1-A: Ah, the Master! The Master shall judge the water!
1-C: Of course! He shall surely know the correct temperature!
1-B: [Screaming]
SCP-8146-2 finishes disrobing, having removed all clothing save for a loincloth. The entity then steps in front of the camera and proceeds to strike several poses while flexing, holding each pose motionlessly for exactly one minute each. The SCP-8146-1 instances, save for instance 1-B, make various exclamations of awe and approval. Instance 1-B continues screaming, but does briefly gesture with two thumbs-up.
1-D: Wow!
1-A: Such exquisite form!
1-C: Terms of service be damned!
[11 MINUTES OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
SCP-8146-1 instance 1-B has ceased screaming and moving, and is now floating facedown in the water. SCP-8146-2 finishes posing, and steps into the cauldron. All SCP-8146-1 instances fall silent. SCP-8146-2 slowly immerses itself into the boiling water before eventually settling into a cross-legged meditative position.
1-C: …Master, wh—
Instances 1-A and 1-D immediately cover 1-C's face with their hands.
1-A: SHH! Do not rush the Master!
22 more seconds of silence pass, before SCP-8146-2's head core changes to a jade-green coloration, and it emits a long, slow note. The remaining SCP-8146-1 instances erupt into celebratory cheers, and begin high-fiving each other.
1-C: Yeah! YEAH! YEAAAAAAAHH!
[2 HOURS OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
[END LOG]
- Hide Log- Hide Log
Stream 8146-V-S23
Original Stream Date: Sep. 30th 2019, 6:00 PM PST
Original Stream Title: Entering the Crucible of Rage and Madness to Show Devotion to our Master
Peak Viewers: 177
[BEGIN LOG]
The stream begins, showing the desktop screen of the computer used by the SCP-8146 entities. The camera display in the bottom right shows all SCP-8146-1 instances gathered in front of the computer. SCP-8146-2 can be seen seated on the couch in the background, leaning forwards with its elbows on its knees. Its hands are clasped together solemnly.
1-A: Hail and greetings, chat.
1-B: Indeed, hail!
1-A: We, the loyal servants of our Master, must give all of you gathered a warning! This stream shall be unlike any other!
1-C: It shall be both ruesome and gruesome, and several other things!
1-A: You see, chat, today we shall truly prove our dedication to the Master! We shall not only willingly, but enthusiastically expose ourselves to the greatest storm of fury and hatred on the entire planet! We have judged this to be entirely necessary!
SCP-8146-2 gently shakes its head in the background. The SCP-8146-1 instances do not notice.
1-D: In the speech of first blood, taught to us by the Knight of Tongues, it is known as ████ █████-██ ██████! But to you, it is known as… League of Legends!
1-B: Speak not its name, brother, speak not its name! It will grow aware of us!
1-C: Steel yourself, brother! We do this to honor our Master!
1-D: Yes, we shall do as the Master does and face unholy terrors without fear!
1-B: Yes… yes, yes! For the Master!
1-A: For the Master! AAAAAAA!
All SCP-8146-1 instances, in unison, begin a sustained yell as instances 1-A and 1-B collaboratively boot up the League of Legends launcher and begin to sign in. As soon as they successfully enter a game, the entirety of the stream's video feed is replaced by a swirling, pulsating magenta mass, and the audio is replaced by the intense buzzing of insects over distorted speech in an unknown language. The mass bulges and sways, and the outline of humanoid hands can occasionally be seen pressing against it from within. Muffled, pained sobbing slowly increases in volume.
[24 MINUTES OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
The video and audio feed abruptly cut back to the interior of the apartment. One SCP-8146-1 instance is lying unconscious on the floor, and the legs of another can be seen dangling from a hole in the ceiling, with chunks of plaster and dust falling periodically as they struggle. SCP-8146-2 is standing in front of the computer, holding a third instance by the neck at arm's length. The larger entity has positioned itself between the monitor and the held instance, turning its head to look back and forth between the two, demonstrating signs of agitation. Purplish smoke is billowing from all four openings in the held entity's mask as it convulses and speaks.
1-A: —anked! Ganked! The jungle looms, monsters are fed, fed the innocent and foolish! The windshitters—they, they are upon us!
The fourth SCP-8146-1 instance re-enters the room, holding a 12-gauge shotgun. A plastic fork is jammed into its left shoulder and its face/mask has been decorated with military war paint.
1-B: Brothers, I have determined the home address of the enemy Teemo! I shall depart immediately, and—Oh, Master!
At this point, SCP-8146-2 quickly ends the stream using its free hand.
[END LOG]
- Hide Log- Hide Log
Stream 8146-V-S26
Original Stream Date: Oct. 9th 2019, 5:31 PM PST
Original Stream Title: Delivering Unto our Master a Varied Banquet and Beholding his Opinions
Peak Viewers: 197
[BEGIN LOG]
The stream begins, showing the interior of a car, shot from a camera mounted on the internal rear-view mirror. SCP-8146-2 is seated in the center of the rear seats, arms stretched out onto the back of the seats on either side. It is not wearing a seatbelt. Three SCP-8146-1 instances are visible: one crouched in the driver's seat, one in the passenger's seat holding a large parchment scroll and a smartphone, and one straddling the center console with both hands on the transmission. The first and second instances are wearing seatbelts, although neither is wearing their belt correctly.
1-A: —it online? Ah, it is! Welcome, inscrutable chat! To a ve-hicle that is definitely ours!
1-B: Huzzah!
1-A: Today, we have a long and bountiful quest in store. We shall travel across your city of fallen angels, to several identified locations of expedient cuisine!
1-B: Huzzah!
1-A: At each station we shall barter for all manner of treats and tricks but mostly treats, and offer them to our glorious Master!
1-B: Huzzah!
1-A: Then, once the Master has received a suitable amount of offerings, we shall return to our abode and he shall perform a great judging—and we shall use our mastery of the digital medium to create a "tier list", to forever preserve his sacred word!
SCP-8146-2 brings one hand forwards to perform a "finger guns" gesture at the camera.
1-B: Huzz—
1-C: —Enough huzzah.
1-B: Oh…
1-C: Now, brothers, let us depart! Our first destination is a place of royalty! Burger royalty!
Instance 1-B unfurls the scroll, and studies it intently for several seconds before speaking.
1-B: Okay, brothers, the first turn is a left on Bailey Avenue.
1-A: Splendid! Brother, accelerate!
The head of the fourth SCP-8146-1 instance emerges from the driver's footwell, where it had been previously obscured.
1-D: Which pedal imbues motive force again, brothers?
1-B: Left.
1-C: Right.
1-A: No, brother, left.
1-C: That's what I said.
1-D: Understood, brothers!
Instance 1-D ducks back down into the footwell, and seconds later the engine begins to rev furiously.
1-C: A-ha! Now, my task is at hand! For the glory of the master, I shall shift into the "Drive" stance!
The entity shifts the transmission to "Drive" and the car violently lurches forwards, causing it to be thrown backwards. As 1-C is thrown backwards it retains its grip on the transmission, inadvertently causing the car to shift into reverse and the entity to be thrown forwards once more, hitting its head on the dashboard.
[27 MINUTES OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
After swerving around a fire hydrant, the vehicle pulls into the drive-thru of a Burger King restaurant. All SCP-8146-1 instances are engaged in heated debate over menu options. SCP-8146-2 has remained motionless. The vehicle stops at the menu signboard, and instance 1-A rolls down all four windows of the car.
Drive-Thru Speaker: Hi, what can I get you today?
1-C: Shh! Shh! Brothers, we are being addressed!
1-D: Now we have to answer their riddle!
1-B: Steady, brothers. We have trained ourselves painstakingly for this moment!
1-A: Yes, yes! For the Master!
Instance 1-A leans its entire torso out of the car window and begins speaking directly into the microphone.
1-A: Hail, er, guardian! We request one rodeo burger, one whopper with cheese, one rodeo burger, and five orders of chicken fries!
1-D: —and a large sprite.
1-A: —and a large spirit elixir!
Drive-Thru Speaker: …Okay, that's… one whopper with cheese, two rodeo burgers, five chicken fries, and what was the drink again?
1-A: Spirit elixir, large and carbominated.
[2 MINUTES OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
The anomalies have successfully placed their order, and subsequently moved their vehicle to the pickup window after hitting the curb twice. Instance 1-B has activated a secondary camera, giving a view from the passenger's seat so that the cashier is visible as the car pulls into the pickup zone. As soon as the cashier sees instances 1-A and 1-B, they can be seen stifling a laugh and quickly looking over their shoulder to speak.
Cashier: [inaudible]right, some kind of cosplay or[inaudible]
1-A: Greetings, burger-squire!
1-C: Greetings!
Cashier: Hey, uh, [laughs], how are you guys doing today?
The cashier begins handing over the bags of food.
1-A: …Brothers, how are we today?
As instance 1-A begins gathering the food, the other three instances begin conversing urgently amongst themselves.
1-C: …We have concluded that things are very good, brother!
1-A: We are very good, thank you! And yourself?
Cashier: I'm alright. Oh, watch the-
The edge of the drinks tray catches on the car window as instance 1-A maneuvers it inwards, and the large soda cup is dropped. All SCP-8146-1 instances gasp. After a second, SCP-8146-2 emits a moderate bellow as its head core glows orange-red.
1-A: No, no! I—I have failed the master again! Aauugheugheeheuheugh—
The entity begins sobbing desperately. Instance 1-C moves into the backseat, kneeling before SCP-8146-2.
1-C: Master, oh Master, we have failed our task! Please, we are not worthy of serving you! We ask that you dispose of us immediately in whatever fashion you see fit!
1-B: Hold—hold on with that last bit, brother.
Cashier: Uh, don't—don't worry about it guys. Happens all the time. Lemme get you a new one.
After several seconds, the cashier hands another drink over.
1-A: —Oh! Can, can it be? A chance for redemption? You are no mere burger-squire, you must be a proud burger-bishop at the very least! Thank you, a thousand times!
The SCP-8146-1 instances pass the drink back to SCP-8146-2, who takes it in one hand. After doing so, its head core glows jade-green and it emits a short, soft note.
1-B: Ah! The Master extends his gratitude towards you, noble one! It has been deemed that we shall pay you great tribute!
Cashier: [laughs] $31.89 will be fine, guys. Enjoy whatever it is you're doing.
1-A: Nonsense, a reward is in order! Brother, procure the payment!
Instance 1-B opens the glove compartment and retrieves a solid gold ingot. It then assumes a shot-put stance and hurls the ingot out of the car and into the drive-thru window, shattering the window.
Cashier: Fucking h—
1-C: —Onwards brothers, to our next destination!
1-D: Yay, chickened fry!
Instance 1-D emerges from the footwell and grabs a fistful of chicken fries, quickly smearing them against its facemask before lowering out of view again. The car then rapidly accelerates forwards, sending fries scattering and causing instance 1-C to fall backwards into SCP-8146-2's lap. SCP-8146-2 telekinetically repositions the fast food items out of the smaller entity's path before it lands.
[4 HOURS AND 13 MINUTES OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
[END LOG]
Note: At the end of the stream, SCP-8146-2 created the following "tier list":
Favoured by the Lady Malachite
Panera, Dairy Queen
Worthy
Denny's, Five Guys, In-N-Out, Waffle House
Acceptable
Jersey Mike's
Paltry Tribute
McDonald's, [An unidentified image of a black obelisk], Burger King
Wretched
Chipotle, Taco Bell
Forbidden under the Moon-Oath
KFC, Chick-Fil-A, Raising Cane's, Popeye's
Forbidden under the Steel-Oath
Arby's, Wendy's
Long John Silver's
Long John Silver's
Agent of Darkness
IHOP
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Stream 8146-V-S31
Original Stream Date: Nov. 6th 2019, 10:02 PM PST
Original Stream Title: Aiding our Noble Master in the Destruction of Forgotten Horrors in a Sewer
Peak Viewers: 144
[BEGIN LOG]
The stream begins, recording from a handheld camera operated by an SCP-8146-1 instance. The instance quickly turns the camera around to show the other three SCP-8146-1 instances walking behind SCP-8146-2. All entities are on foot in a dimly-lit circular stone tunnel, walking through an ankle-high dark liquid. The sole sources of light are the head core of SCP-8146-2 and two large flashlights carried by the smaller entities. One SCP-8146-1 instance is carrying a 12-gauge shotgun, another is wearing a full backpack, and a third is pushing a wheelbarrow full of an unknown powdered substance. All four instances have short-range radio communication devices clipped to their belts.
1-A: Hello once more chat!
1-B: —Shhh!
1-A: [Softly] Oh, right. Hello once more, chat! Our stream is later than is usual today, as we are accompanying out glorious Master on his sacred duties once more, and this time the horrid beasts that we will most likely be mangled by can only be killed when the moon shines above!
One of the other three SCP-8146-1 instances turns around and waves excitedly.
1-C: [Through radio] Hi, chat! Hi, brother!
1-D: [Through radio] Hi brother!
1-C: [Through radio] No, the other brother. But still, hello, brother!
1-A: You guys are right there, you don't need to use the speakiophones yet.
1-B: [Through radio] Ah, but you see, brother, this way we do not have to leave our noble Master's side!
1-A: Oh. Understood completely, brother!
The entities resume walking.
1-A: Anyways, chat, tonight's quarry dwells in these mystical aqueducts beneath the earth. See, these mystic runes indicate its lair!
The entity points to graffiti on the left wall, reading "DicK and Bals", before moving forwards until it is walking next to the instance pushing the wheelbarrow.
1-A: Hail, brother. I am educating the chat on our mission!
1-D Wow! —Oof— Does this mean you know things about the mission, brother?
1-A: Indeed! I know that we are helping the master, and that we are in ancient waterways, and that it is at night!
1-D: An impressive library of knowledge, brother. I am proud to proclaim that I, too, know these things.
1-A: Oho! A regular erudite thing person!
Instance 1-A produces a handheld tablet from within its robes and views it briefly. On the screen of the tablet, the Twitch chat can be seen.
1-A: Ah, brother, a chat member wishes to know the contents of thine wheeled-barrow.
1-D: Powder! It will help!
[17 MINUTES OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
The entities have continued deeper into the sewers, led by SCP-8146-2. They are currently approaching a 4-way intersection of the tunnels. The SCP-8146-1 instances have continued to converse with each other and the Twitch chat. The instance with the backpack has just offered a water bottle and several energy bars to SCP-8146-2, who has politely declined them.
1-C: I am forlorn, brothers. The Master does not yet require nutritional support, therefore I have yet to be useful!
1-B: There there, brother. I shall consume one of the snacks in his stead.
1-C: [Loudly] No! They are for the Master!
1-D: Brother, Shh—
All entities fall silent as a giggle of unknown origin echoes through the tunnels. After a pause, the SCP-8146-1 instance wearing the backpack steps towards the left path.
1-C: Brothers, I am going to investigate! In doing so, I shall be aiding the Master!
1-B: A splendid idea, brother. I shall accompany.
Instances 1-B and 1-C depart down the leftmost tunnel. Instance 1-A speaks into its radio.
1-A: Okay have a good fun time. For the Master!
1-B: [Through radio] For the Master!
SCP-8146-2 resumes walking forwards. The remaining two instances follow.
[4 MINUTES OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
1-B: [Through radio] Hail, brothers! We have entered a large cistern. Having viewed the majority of it with our flashlights, I shall declare that there is nothing here.
1-C: [Through radio] Brother, we have not yet checked that ominous pulsating mass of darkness.
1-B: [Through radio] Ah, correct you are, brother. I shall illuminate it posthaste.
Brief pause.
1-C: [Through radio] Ah. Wow.
1-B: [Through radio] Brothers, our sub-expedition has been successful! We have located one of the—
1-C: [Through radio] —Brother. Brother. Brother.
Distorted laughter can be heard through the radio, followed by frantic screaming and sounds of movement. SCP-8146-2 stops, and turns back towards the instance with the camera.
1-A: Um, brothers, I—
1-B: [Through radio] Behold! Gun!
Several shotgun blasts are heard through the radio, followed by static. SCP-8146-2 breaks into a sprint back towards the intersection. Instance 1-A turns to follow.
1-D: Brother, wait! I can't— I must turn the wheelbarrow in order to—
1-A: I am coming, Master! I shall aid you!
As the instance with the camera runs after SCP-8146-2, instance 1-D falls out of earshot. After several minutes of running, instance 1-A has not caught up to SCP-8146-2. The entity pauses, breathing heavily.
1-A: [Panting] The muck of the waterways is— is not conducive to swift motion, chat.
The entity speaks into its radio.
1-A: Brothers, I have lost sight of the Master, as I cannot match his glorious speed. I have lost sight of you all for some other reason probably. Do any of you see him?
1-C: [Through radio] Oh, hello brother! No, I have not seen the Master, although I hope to do so soon. I can only converse for a moment, as I am in a little bit of a situation right now. I have—
Unknown: [Through radio, distorted] Cooomme heeeeeeeeeere, little pump-kin. Pumpkin. And let meeeeeee. Kiss everything away away away away awaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy.
1-C: [Through radio] —Yeah, see, I gotta go deal with this.
1-A: Understood. Good luck, brother.
1-D: [Through radio] Good luck!
1-A: Ah, brother! Good to hear from you. How is the powder?
1-D: [Through radio] I will be honest with you, my brother. In this present moment, the powder is not helping. I may even be so bold as to say it is hindering.
1-A: That is most unfortunate, brother. Have you—
The tunnel shakes with the force of a heavy impact, followed by the distant bellowing of SCP-8146-2 and screaming from an unknown source. The screaming intensifies and distorts, followed by a wet ripping noise and several more tremors. The tunnel falls silent again.
1-A: Oh no, oh no! Chat, you know what those distant punch-noises mean! It means the Master is engaged in his divine duty, destroying the foul things that lurk!
1-D: [Through radio] And we are not there to aid and cheer him! We are failing again, brother!
1-A: I will make haste at once!
Instance 1-A resumes running. It immediately trips, and drops the camera into the water. The video feed begins to glitch due to damage to the electronic components.
1-A: Ah, fiddesticks.
The entity can be seen bending down to pick up the camera, which landed facing upwards. On the ceiling of the tunnel, a previously-unseen shape begins to move. As instance 1-A picks up the camera and stares into it, a long, deformed humanoid arm reaches down from the ceiling towards it.
1-A: Chat, can you still see me upon the video-stream?
The entity checks its handheld tablet, where Twitch chat can be seen scrolling.
1-A: "Above you", "WTF is that", "The ceiling"—Ah, well there you go, chat member. It seems another chat member has answered your—
The arm lashes out downwards, grabbing the SCP-8146-1 instance by the throat and pulling upwards with a giggle. The instance attempts to scream, but is choked by the hand's grip. It drops the camera as it struggles. The video feed glitches briefly before cutting out.
[19 MINUTES OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
The camera feed abruptly resumes, showing the dimly-illuminated face/mask of an SCP-8146-1 instance. The entity is covered in a mixture of an unknown powdered substance and raw sewage.
1-D: Aha! Triumph! The batteries are aligned once more!
The entity stands up, and resumes walking. Due to the lack of a light source outside of the camera itself, the majority of the video is uniform darkness. The squeak of a wheelbarrow can be heard.
1-D: …It is good to have someone to talk to, chat! Even though I have no device with which to read your messages. None of my brothers are responding to my hails, only one of their devices is on and when I connect it's just this:
Unknown: [Through radio, distorted] —Y THE BLOOD. BLOOOOOOOD OF MY DAUGHTERS, I CURSE YOU, CAGED RAINBOW. EVEN AS I DIE. DIE. DIE. I SHALL REND THE BODIES OF YOUR SERVITORS, A—
1-D: Anyways, I'm almost certain I almost know the route back to where I think I last saw the Master!
The entirety of the remainder of the stream is instance 1-D walking through the darkness, talking to itself.
[38 MINUTES OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
[END LOG]
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Stream 8146-V-S50
Original Stream Date: Jan. 22nd 2020, 5:00 PM PST
Original Stream Title: Super Smash Brothers Ultimate for the Master (also our friends are here)
Peak Viewers: 265
[BEGIN LOG]
The stream begins, showing the main menu of a Nintendo Switch video game console. The camera display shows the interior of the apartment used by SCP-8146, facing a couch that has been dragged into the center of the room. A tray of mundane refreshments can be seen positioned behind it. SCP-8146-2 is seated in the center-left of the couch, holding a controller for the console. All SCP-8146-1 instances are crowded onto the couch to the left of it, with one of the smaller entities sitting on the armrest and another completely engulfed by the couch cushions beneath the others, save for its hands and feet. The SCP-8146-1 instances are collectively holding a second game controller.
1-A: Hello, hello and hello, chat! Tonight is a very special stream!
1-B: Special indeed, for it marks the fiftieth such stream we have done—
All 8146-1 instances, in unison: —TO HONOR OUR MASTER!
1-C: [Muffled, from couch cushions] An unspeakably momentous occasion, brothers!
1-D: Yay!
SCP-8146-2 gives a "peace" sign with one hand.
1-B: So, to commumermate the occasion, we have selected one of our most-requested games: Super Brothers Ultimate Smash Brothers!
1-A: —Super Smash Brothers Ultimate, brother.
1-B: Ah, I see. Super Smash Brothers Ultimate Brother!
1-D: No, brother.
[3 MINUTES OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
1-D: Anyways! Our research indicates that, er—
The entity reads from a piece of paper.
1-D: —"Super Smash Brothers Ultimate" is a party game. So, there must be a great bacchanalia, a festival to honor our Master's glory!
Instance 1-C fires a confetti popper from within the couch cushions.
1-B: To this end, we have invited several of the Master's friends who are also our friends to join us. They should be arriving shortly!
1-A: Yes, they texted to let us know they were just parking.
1-D: I do hope they enjoy the refreshments, we had to outwit the mysterious "lapd" to acquire them…
The doorbell of the apartment rings.
1-C: [Muffled, from couch cushions] I will get it, I will get it!
1-A: No, the honor shall be mine!
Instance 1-A dismounts the sofa and rushes out of frame. Several seconds pass before a door can be heard opening.
1-A: Greetings, esteemed guests! Welcome to our headquarters!
Unknown: Yo dudes, good to be here.
1-A: Ah, thank you! Everything is set up, just, right this way…
Instance 1-A re-enters the camera view, followed by two additional entities. The guest entities have been assigned temporary designations of SCP-8146-K and SCP-8146-L.
SCP-8146-K is a semi-humanoid entity covered in rust-orange scutellate scales. The entity's head consists of a large pair of insectoid pincers facing upwards, with a single white eyeball levitating between them. It wears loose-fitting grey pants and robes, with a crimson cowl wrapped around its neck and shoulders.
SCP-8146-L is an entity whose lower half consists of a pair of green-skinned humanoid legs wearing a sheer-cut black dress and snakeskin high heels. From the waist up, the entity consists of a shifting mass of green and black serpents revolving around a fanged skull with no eye sockets. The skull constantly emits bright green flames.1-B: Chat, we are pleased to introduce our first guest, the legendary Knight of Tongues!
SCP-8146-K: —Just 'Kruvu' is good. Also, not gonna lie, I may have pregamed a little.
SCP-8146-2's head core flashes blue as it emits a short, pulsing bellow.
8146-K: Yeah man! [chuckles] Good to see ya, big chief.
SCP 8146-K sits on the right side of the couch. It extends an arm to perform a fist bump with SCP-8146-2.
1-A: Such fun, such comraderie! But let us not neglect our second guest, overseer of the vault of vile radiance, the Lady Malachite!
Several of SCP-8146-L's serpents contort in response. It then sits on the couch next to SCP-8146-2, and extends a serpent towards the other entity that proceeds to bite it on the collarbone. SCP-8146-2's head core flushes jade-green, and it emits a low rumbling bellow as it traces the fingertips of one hand across the fangs of the skull.
1-D: [Gasps] PDA! PDA! Twitch will—
SCP-8146-1 instance 1-A punches instance 1-D.
1-D: —Ow!
Several of SCP-8146-L's serpents can be observed giggling.
SCP-8146-K: By the way, thanks again for driving.
SCP-8146-L waves several serpents at SCP-8146-K. The two entities then retrieve game controllers from the floor.
1-B: Now, last but least'nt, someone who I believe is very familiar to you, chat. You already know them as our dear moderator, but now you shall bear witness to—Um, Master, the portal, please? If it suits you?
SCP-8146 performs several thaumaturgical hand signs. Upon completion, loose objects in the room are immediately sucked upwards and all other noises are drowned out by the sound of rushing air. The camera is tilted upwards by the vacuum force, revealing a ritual circle etched onto the ceiling of the apartment currently containing an open portal to an unknown location in outer space. Visible through the portal is a large comet of white rock and ice, subsequently referred to as SCP-8146-G.
At 5:05 PM PST, Foundation satellite FR-7AA detects signs of a spatial anomaly in southern California. Triangulation efforts begin. The timing matches up with the appearance of the portal in the SCP-8146 stream.
SCP-8146-2 continues performing hand signs until air stops flowing through the portal. All non-SCP-8146-1 entities present appear entirely undisturbed during the course of these events.
1-A: Ah! Phew. Hahh. Sweet air, no longer ripped from mine lung-sacs!
1-B: Indeed—hooh—brother! Now, where was I—Ah, yes! Bear witness to the Quizzical Comet of Glail!
Instance 1-B poses dramatically. All entities are silent for several seconds.
1-C: [Muffled, from couch cushions] The microphone, brother. Controller, too.
1-B: Oh, right.
Instance 1-B bends down to the floor and retrieves a game controller and microphone affixed to a long string. It swings the bundle in a circle several times before tossing it up through the portal, where it drifts out into space.
1-A: …Ah, our dear comet, we still don't hear you.
SCP-8146-K: Maybe just use chat?
At this point, Twitch user and moderator of SCP-8146 "urmometofglail" begins typing.
urmometofglail: ye im fine with this
1-D: Alright. Brothers, you three must handle the controller, as I will undertake the duty of relaying textual messages.
The other SCP-8146-1 instances nod in agreement.
urmometofglail: hey chat im uhhhhhh a big fuckin rock lmao
1-C: [Muffled, from couch cushions] Okay, I do now believe we are ready to begin!
1-A: Hooray! The smashing of brothers shall commence!
SCP-8146-K: Right on.
SCP-8146-2 launches the video game using its controller and navigates to character selection, where it selects Captain Olimar as its playable character. SCP-8146-L selects Bayonetta. All SCP-8146-1 instances begin bickering, with instance 1-D only pausing to read chat messages.
urmometofglail: who you thinkin tongueboy?
SCP-8146-K: Don't—[laughing]
urmometofglail: i'm stickin with my main
urmometofglail: THE PAC
urmometofglail: IS BACK
SCP-8146-G selects Pac-Man as its character.
SCP-8146-K: Alright, alright. The bros are gonna pick Diddy Kong, just like they do every time, so—
1-B: —Hark, brothers! I have a suggestion that I believe will satisfy all of us. What if… monkey?
1-A: …Yes, yes, it could be bold enough to carry us to victory. Consider the banana peel!
1-C: [Muffled, from couch cushions] And he wields the power of god!
1-B: Brother, do you concur?
1-D: Hm? Ah, yes! Ser Didimus Kong!
1-A: Then it is unamim—unanimous!
The SCP-8146-1 instances select Diddy Kong, and SCP-8146-K selects Villager.
urmometofglail: you freak of nature lol
[18 MINUTES OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
The spatial distortion readings are traced to a neighborhood in Burbank, California. Foundation thaumaturgical experts confirm the link between the events shown on-stream and the distortion. A response team begins mobilizing at the nearest staging site.
The entities have played 3 rounds of the game, and are beginning a fourth. The first and second rounds were won by SCP-8146-2, due to the SCP-8146-1 instance's refusal to attack it in-game. The third round was won by SCP-8146-L, after the SCP-8146-1 instances were convinced to play fairly.
urmometofglail: do we wanna do a round wi items on
Several of SCP-8146-L's serpents hiss angrily.
urmometofglail: ok maybe later
urmometofglail: after last round i am gonna be gunning for you tho
1-B: Alright, brothers. Before we begin the next battle anew, remember our recent discovery of the 'block' button! It may very well turn the tide in our favor!
SCP-8146-K: I might switch, normally it'd be a better matchup but the comet is a psychopath who only uses side-B.
urmometofglail: its my hoe-scaring move
SCP-8146-2 emits a high-frequency bellow as its head core flashes purple.
SCP-8146-K: …yeah, I'd be down for a team battle.
1-A: [Gasps] Brothers! This is our chance to serve the Master!
1-B: Yes! Team battle! Immediately now please!
One of SCP-8146-L's serpents rises up and hisses several times.
SCP-8146-K: Oh yeah, five players. Hm.
urmometofglail: yeah but one of them is the minions lol
1-D: Hey! We have been doing almost ok!
1-C: [Muffled, from couch cushions] Last match, we weren't even the first person to lose a stock!
[8 MINUTES OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
The response team, led by Agent Weng, departs from the staging site in an undercover van. From this point onwards, relevant snippets from Weng's helmet camera will be included.
Agent Weng's camera shows him behind the wheel of the transport, looking back to the rest of the response team. The response team consists of Weng, Foundation thaumaturgical agents Esckelson and Round, medical officer Denton and communications officer Stantopotis.
Agent Weng: Alright, once we get to the neighborhood hopefully we'll be able to narrow down the location and find them. We're not equipped for full containment yet, but we can start getting civilians out and getting some recon done.
The SCP-8146 entities, having been unable to decide on teams, have returned to free-for-all play and have completed another two rounds. The first round was won by SCP-8146-G, and the second was won by SCP-8146-L.
SCP-8146-K: Okay, yeah, I'm goin' Falco.
SCP-8146-1 instance 1-A points at SCP-8146-K with its arm stretched straight out.
1-A: Bird!
urmometofglail: can one of you dudes please toss me up a cup of that sweet sweet dew
1-D: Only if you say the magic word, dear comet!
urmometofglail: dude i can't do that theres mortals watchig
1-D: Ah, chat, forgive me! I nearly caused your eye-balls to turn into solid spheres of black marble!
1-B: And then explode, brother.
1-A: Yes, that too.
Instance 1-D dismounts the couch and fills a plastic cup with Mountain Dew soda. It then hurls the cup directly upwards through the portal.
urmometofglail: thx
[21 MINUTES OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
The van makes a left turn into the identified neighborhood. The camera swings as Weng looks around.
Esckelson: Definitely picking up something, it should be close.
Weng: Alright, I'll—oh.
As Weng completes the turn, the parking lot adjacent to an apartment block comes into view. Sitting in the lot is a chariot formed out of the jawbone of a large, unknown creature with black iron wheels. Attached to the chariot by reins are two winged semi-humanoid entities formed out of green flames identical to those produced by SCP-8146-L. One of the entities turns to look at the van. Several civilians are gathered in the parking lot, conversing with each other and occasionally gesturing towards the chariot.
Esckelson: That would be the place.
Stantopotis: Shit.
Denton: Well, this is why we brought amnestics.
The entities have continued to play, only pausing briefly to use the bathroom and to extricate SCP-8146-1 instance 1-C from the couch cushions. They are currently between game rounds. SCP-8146-L is currently engaged in a conversation with instance 1-B and the Twitch chat, and SCP-8146-K is at the refreshments table opening a can of beer.
1-B: Again, chat member, we cannot provide "feet pics". But to answer your other question, I don't know the answer. Lady Malachite could you please and thank you enlighten us?
SCP-8146-L's serpents hiss as it gestures with several of them for several seconds.
1-B: Oh my. Is that a lot of, er, radiation?
The van pulls into the parking lot. Denton and Round have both disembarked to corral the civilians, and Stantopotis is engaging in communications with both local authorities and local Foundation command personnel.
SCP-8146-2 places its controller on the couch and stands up. It holds up one finger to the camera, before beginning to walk offscreen.
1-C: Oh, Master?
A short bellow from SCP-8146-2 is heard from offscreen.
1-D: Aww, but Master! We could help!
SCP-8146-L flicks the back of instance 1-D's head with a serpent. A loud crash is heard from offscreen, and the camera shakes.
A loud crash is heard, and Weng turns to face the apartments. A large hole has been knocked into the side of the building on the third floor, with rubble falling outwards onto several bushes.
Esckelson: Wh—
SCP-8146-2 can be seen stepping into view in the hole, before jumping down to the parking lot. The asphalt cracks slightly where it lands.
Weng: Oh, shit. Shit. Esckelson—
SCP-8146-1 instance 1-A stands up, and walks offscreen.
1-A: Ah, the Master has performed an act of home renovation!
SCP-8146-2 tenses briefly, before launching itself onto the hood of the van, clearing the distance of approximately 26 meters in less than a second. It angles its head core towards Agent Weng, and braces one hand against the roof of the vehicle while pulling its other hand backwards. Weng begins undoing his seatbelt.
Weng: Esckelson! ESCKELSON!
Esckelson: I'm g—
SCP-8146-2 punches through the vehicle's windshield, shattering it. It then grabs Agent Weng by the collar. It briefly freezes as Esckelson and Round deploy thaumaturgical invocations of binding targeting it, before emitting an extremely loud bellow as its head core glows bright red. The thaumaturges stagger backwards, breaking their focus on the invocations. It then pulls Weng out of the van through the empty windshield space. Weng looks back towards Esckelson.
Weng: I'm—evacuate the civvies!
SCP-8146-2 dismounts the van, still holding Weng aloft in one hand. It begins walking back towards the apartment as Weng struggles. With its free hand, it begins to perform thaumaturgical signs. Weng looks back towards the van, and the other Foundation personnel can be seen corralling the gathered civilians to a safe distance.
SCP-8146-1 instance 1-A walks back into frame, and takes an offered cup of soda from SCP-8146-K.
1-A: Thank you, Knight Kruvu! I am unworthy!
SCP-8146-K: Don't mention it. He should be back soon.
SCP-8146-2 reaches the apartment building, before leaping up back into the hole with Agent Weng in tow. The hole is revealed to connect to the interior of the apartment used by SCP-8146. SCP-8146-2 finishes its thaumaturgical hand signs as its head core pulses teal, and the destroyed wall can be seen beginning to reassemble itself as the rubble levitates back into place, glowing an identical teal color.
Weng: What, what the hell are you doing?
SCP-8146-2 walks through the apartment, passing several rooms and various occult artifacts, including four large crystalline pods filled with an unknown green fluid.
SCP-8146-2 walks back into frame, holding Agent Weng. It stops next to the couch and sets Weng down, before walking offscreen again. Weng assumes a defensive stance, looking around.
1-C: Hail, human person! I am no longer inside of a couch!
Weng's earpiece activates as he looks between all the gathered entities.
Stantopotis: [Through radio] —eng. Weng!
Weng: [Hushed] Demetri! I'm, I'm in their apartment.
Stantopotis: [Through radio] I know, you're on stream.
Agent Weng looks at the camera.
Stantopotis: [Through radio] Listen, we're still receiving your camera. The van and the wall got repaired, definitely magic—
Round: [Through radio] —Thaumaturgy.
Stantopotis: [Through radio] —Just, stay calm. We've gotten the civvies away and called for backup, try and get as much data as you can. We'll work on getting you out.
SCP-8146-2 re-enters the frame, carrying a beanbag chair. It sets the chair down next to Weng, then sits back down on the couch.
1-A: Ah, chat! It appears we have another special guest, so special that I don't know who they are and can you please tell us?
Weng: …I'm, uh, Agent Weng. From…the, uh.
Weng looks at the camera again.
Weng: …Federal…Bureau of…Paranormal…Investigation.
1-B: Yay! Weng! Well, welcome, Weng, for you have been graced with an audience to our glorious Master!
1-D: A rare honor!
SCP-8146-K walks towards Agent Weng, who draws back. The entity holds out a canned beer. After several seconds, Weng hesitantly takes the beer, and the entity leans closer.
SCP-8146-K: [Hushed] Good cover. You're not with the Library or the cults, right?
Agent Weng: [Hushed] Uh. No.
SCP-8146-K: [Hushed] Just chill, man. If he wanted you dead he probably woulda just done it.
SCP-8146-K takes a drink from its beverage, and sits down on the couch again.
1-D: Master, the chat is saying we have been "swatted". What does that mean?
SCP-8146-2 waves a hand dismissively, and picks up its controller again. SCP-8146-K does the same. SCP-8146-1 instance 1-B moves around the backside of the couch and places another controller on top of the canned beverage in Weng's hand. It then quickly returns to its seat on the couch.
urmometofglail: yoooooooo we can do even teams now
SCP-8146-L hisses as its serpents look towards Weng.
Stantopotis: [Through radio] You're doing great, Round got a perception filter up around the chariot and we've started amnesticizing. Keep them talking, and don't aggravate them. Our current plan for extraction is scrapped if they go hostile.
SCP-8146-K: Oh, right. Translation.
The eye of SCP-8146-K floats towards Agent Weng, leaving its position between the entity's pincers. It stops approximately a third of a meter away from his face.
Weng: Hey, hey. Chill, right?
SCP-8146-K: Relax, this isn't gonna hurt you. It's, like, my job.
A thin beam of light shines from the iris of the eye onto Agent Weng's forehead area for several seconds. Weng stiffens, and remains motionless for the duration. The eye ends the beam, and returns to its original position. Weng immediately stumbles backwards, shaking his head.
Stantopotis: [Through radio] You okay?
Weng: …I…was walking, journeying though the desert for forty days and forty nights, with dune-wolves guiding me, and…and I came across a great, great stone obelisk, and, my god, the writing on it—It—It's fading, but it was so beautiful, I can't…
Stantopotis: [Through radio] Weng?
Weng: I—Brrrr. Can't remember. What was I saying? Yeah, I'm—I'm fine.
SCP-8146-L: Cool. Now sit down, I wanna keep playing. This is the first get-together I've had time for in a while.
SCP-8146-L hisses at Weng again, and Weng sits down in the beanbag chair.
1-A: Now, honored Weng, what is thy main?
Agent Weng pauses, before slowly picking up the controller.
Weng: I, uh, I guess I have a pretty good Yoshi?
urmometofglail: yeah baybeeee
urmometofglail: now theres two tongueboys
1-C: Yes, let us do a team battle! Weng and Kruvu shall be Team Tongue!
SCP-8146-K: I'm down. You probably won't have to carry just yet, but I am starting to get a lil' krunked.
1-B: And we, of course, shall aid the Master!
SCP-8146-L: You sure? Then the comet and I would be on the last team, and we'd raze you all to the ground together.
1-D: …This is true brothers, but we cannot leave the side of the Master! Whatever shall we do?
urmometofglail: i hate to intrude on the intense two-man tongue session but we could do a 3v3
SCP-8146-'s head core flashes deep blue, and it emits a short bellow. Agent Weng later relays having a vision as this occurs, of walking through a desert for several hours before coming across a temple carved out of black stone. Within the temple was a large wall, on which were engraved the words "THIS IS ACCEPTABLE TO ME. I SHALL BATTLE ALONGSIDE MY RADIANT LOVE AND MY MOST LOYAL SERVANTS, AND TOGETHER WE SHALL SEIZE VICTORY UPON THE FIELD OF NINTENDO."
1-A: Yay!
1-B: We shall fight—
All 8146-1 instances, in unison: —FOR THE GLORY OF OUR MASTER!
SCP-8146-K: Weng, you cool with that?
Weng: …Am I allowed not to be?
SCP-8146-K: Dude, we're here to have a good time. If the Rainbow over there is being too bossy then Lady M can poison him about it.
Weng: No, no, that's fine.
1-C: Then let us play!
The entities, accompanied by agent Weng, resume playing. The rest of the stream consists of gameplay and conversation. During this time, the rest of the response team is able to amnesticize all witnesses, and in addition place an antiperception field around the apartment. A full recording of Agent Weng's helmet camera footage will be provided upon request of any personnel with level 3 clearance or above.
[2 HOURS AND 29 MINUTES OF IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED]
[END LOG]
8146-V-S50 Supplementary Footage
Note: This portion of the log consists of Agent Weng's head camera footage, picking up after the end of the stream footage.
[BEGIN LOG]
Agent Weng is seated in the beanbag chair, watching an SCP-8146-1 instance end the stream from the computer.
1-A: Alright, the stream hath concluded! Huzzah!
1-B: A most successful stream it was, brothers!
1-C: Indeed, brother, we have surely demonstrated the greatness of our Master to a wide audience tonight!
1-D: And we got to see our friends! Yay!
Instance 1-D throws its hands up in the air.
SCP-8146-L: It was nice seeing you little gremlins too. Oh, and babe—are we still on for next Sunday?
All entities stand up. SCP-8146-K begins stretching, while the SCP-8146-1 instances turn off the game console and begin packing up the streaming equipment. SCP-8146-2's head core brightens to a light green, and it emits a rumbling bellow. SCP-8146-L giggles.
SCP-8146-L: Super, I've been looking forwards to it too. Work's been intense, the ocean of Nechrubel has been leaking again and of course they're trying to get us to fix it for them.
1-B: Stay strong of heart, Lady Malachite! Let us know if we can be of aid!
1-D: I would recommend girl-bossing at them until their skin falls off!
SCP-8146-L: If they send damn Surkurl to parley again I'll do more than just that. Kruvu, we should get going.
SCP-8146-K: Right on. Nice meeting you, Weng. Gimme a call sometime, my number's '7' in all languages.
SCP-8146-L: Good gaming, Glail. Bye, babe.
SCP-8146-2 and SCP-8146-L briefly embrace, before SCP-8146-L and SCP-8146-K go to the door to leave.
SCP-8146-L: By the way, Weng, was it? Tell your mages thanks for the car cover. You know how it is, sometimes I get teenagers posing with it and taking pictures and trying to pretend it's theirs.
Agent Weng stands up.
Weng: W—Wait, I can't—
SCP-8146-L stops, and turns to face Weng.
SCP-8146-L: Do you really think you could stop me?
Weng: …If we need to, the Foundation will.
SCP-8146-L: Oh, you're with them. Hmm. Well, relax, this is the first time I've been on earth in several thousand years. Your precious little veil will be fine. And don't think about "containing" me, I keep far bigger problems at bay.
SCP-8146-L and SCP-8146-K turn to leave again.
Weng: Hold on, I—
Stantopotis: [Through radio] —Let them go, Weng. Orders from above. We managed to smooth this incident over, and got some good info out of it. We don't want to cause another mess right away. Focus on the ones that'll be staying on earth. We're getting a larger force together and starting to evacuate the area.
Weng stops speaking. The two entities leave through the apartment door. The other Foundation personnel present record the two of them boarding the chariot, which then disappears in a flash of green light. There were no further witnesses to this activity.
urmometofglail: imma log off too, this was wikked fun dudes
The controller and microphone drop back down through the portal in the ceiling.
urmometofglail: u got the portal?
SCP-8146-2 performs several thaumaturgical hand signs, and the portal closes.
urmometofglail: thx, good night
SCP-8146-2 approaches Agent Weng.
Weng: Oh.
SCP-8146-2 stops in front of Weng, and crosses its arms. Its head core turns yellow, and it emits a moderate bellow. Agent Weng reports another similar vision, with the text this time reading "YOUR PUNISHMENT FOR ATTEMPTING TO DETAIN US HAS CONCLUDED. GO NOW WITH YOUR LIFE INTACT, AND DO NOT DISTURB US AGAIN."
Weng: —God, do you have to make it take like three hours to get there each time?
SCP-8146-2 remains silent. In the background, the SCP-8146-1 instances can be seen cleaning up the aftermath of the party.
Weng: …You know this won't be the last you see of us. We can't let you guys go around potentially endangering people's lives and threatening to break the veil. We've been extremely lucky so far that most people think your streams are an elaborate act.
Stantopotis: [Through radio] Easy, Weng.
SCP-8146-2's head core turns orange as it emits a loud rumble. The text in the accompanying vision reads "WE DEFEND THIS WORLD FROM THINGS BELOW THE SURFACE OF THE SHADOWS, AND THIS IS THE THANKS WE GET? WE HAVE BEEN HERE FOR MILLENIA, AND ONLY NOW HAVE YOUR EYES FOUND US AND THOUGHT ILL OF IT. THAT IS WHY I HAVE THEM, SO THAT I ATTAIN THE WORSHIP THAT SUSTAINS MY KIND WITHOUT REVEALING MYSELF TO YOU."
Weng: Then why are you Twitch streaming?
SCP-8146-2 emits a short bellow. The wall reads "THIS ACTIVITY WAS THEIR IDEA." Agent Weng sighs.
Weng: You're their master, right? They worship you? Well, if you're trying to stay hidden, why not just tell them no?
SCP-8146-2 looks back towards the SCP-8146-1 instances, then back to Weng. Its head core shines emerald-green, and it bellows softly. The wall reads "THEY HAVE SUCH LOVE FOR ME. HOW COULD I DENY THEM THIS?" Both are silent for several seconds, before Weng sighs again and looks downwards.
Weng: …Demetri? Patch me through to command. I have a very, very unprofessional idea that will probably save us a fight.
Stantopotis: [Through radio] …Sure. Then they can complain at you directly.
Agent Weng looks back at SCP-8146-2.
Weng: Okay, look. I'll forget that you hauled me through a windshield. And I know that you're actually willing to listen because you made it a three-minute mind-walk. So hear me out.
[REMAINDER OF LOG REDACTED UNDER LEVEL 4 CLEARANCE]
- Hide Log
Addendum 8146-1: Following an agreement between SCP-8146-2 and the Foundation on Jan. 22nd 2020, the containment procedures for SCP-8146 were revised. The revised containment procedures are as follows:
Special Containment Procedures: All SCP-8146 entities are to be contained in a shared secure habitation unit in Site-102, located in Southern California, United States. The entities have been permitted to furnish the unit with their belongings from their former apartment in Burbank, California, provided said belongings do not pose a risk towards the operations and other personnel of the site. SCP-8146-1 instances must at all times be accompanied by either SCP-8146-2 or Foundation personnel.
With aid from the Department of Informational Technologies, the SCP-8146 channel has been migrated to an isolated network accessible only by Foundation personnel. SCP-8146 is permitted to continue streaming within this network, but is forbidden from broadcasting material that poses a risk towards Foundation operations and personnel. Streams involving the usage of or travel to objects, entities and locations outside of Site-102 must be negotiated between SCP-8146-2, designated SCP-8146 liaison/translator Agent Weng, and the Site-102 Head of Containment. Negotiations must be undertaken at least one week prior to the actual date of the stream, and in the event the stream is permitted all SCP-8146 entities must be accompanied by undercover Foundation personnel carrying at least 20 doses of Class-A Amnestics.
To ensure compliance from SCP-8146 entities, Foundation personnel are encouraged to recreationally view SCP-8146 streams.