Hello, if your credentials are correct, you're Rsr. Victoria Baker. My name's Skippy! I understand you've been selected for RAISA's new Anomaly Awareness program, congrats! Your job is to declassify Scips that prove a present danger to the public, so folks can be better prepared for their new MAGIC world! Unfortunately, your average Joe is a bit… reactionary about this kind of stuff, so we need to edit out any info that could send them into a panic. Don't worry, I'm here to help!
Item #: SCP-9451
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: All remaining SCP-9451 instances are believed to be in the possession of either the Foundation, the Global Occult Coalition, or the Consumer Product Safety Commission. In the event an individual comes into contact or possession of an SCP-9451 instance, they are required to report it to their nearest Foundation or Coalition representative under the Anomalous Business Organizations Code and the Carter v. UIU ruling. Standard transportation containment is to be supplemented by placing SCP-9451 instances in thaumaturgic suspension.
All SCP-9451 instances within Foundation jurisdiction are to be brought into the custody of the nearest site, removed from thaumaturgic suspension, and given a psychological examination. All who are shown to operate below sapient levels are to be contained in an insert state in a location of their respective site’s discretion.
SCP-9451 instances believed sapient are to be sent to Reliquary Area-27. A small containment unit fixed with 3 Scranton Reality Anchors has been prepared. Further testing and interaction with these instances are to be decided by Site Director Lilith Asimov. As of the date of writing, no such instances have been contained.
SCP-9451 instance recovered from Magellan Middle School in Florida.
Description: SCP-9451 is a product line of preserved pig fetuses, originally available for purchase from Class Pet LLC, under the pretenses of being an educational tool.
SCP-9451 instances, when ordered, would come packaged in groups of seven. The package would contain a slip of paper with an “activation spell” [sic] printed on, being a seemingly random assortment of Latin phrases.
SCP-9451 instances are baseline pig fetuses until the “spell” is read out loud, wherein they become capable of speech and inarticulate use of their limbs. SCP-9451 will refuse to discuss anything unrelated to pig biology, and if repeatedly pressed to explain their origins, will return to an inert state.
If an SCP-9451 instance believes a person is planning to dissect them, it will switch to an amiable conversation pattern, instructing incisions, while occasionally sharing biology trivia and pig-related puns.
SCP-9451 was unpopular among public schools, but sold notably well with private institutions, particularly those boasting "anomalous immersion" programs.
Addendum 9451.1:
Wendell Murphy Preparatory School
On 10/21/14, MTF-Psi-71 (“Saved By The Bell”), was dispatched to Wendell Murphy Preparatory School following a call made by Hava Quail on the Foundation emergency hotline.
A dimensional fissure roughly the size of a watermelon had formed overnight on the floor of Quail’s classroom, “A-15”. The fissure seemed to have photokinetic properties, rendering itself pitch black. All materials scraped off from within the fissure were made out of meat.
Further interviews with Quail would reveal her class had begun dissecting a group of SCP-9451 instances for educational use. Those instances could not be recovered.
Addendumm 9451.2:
All security camera footage of A-15 during the week prior was handed over to the Foundation for investigative purposes. After the footage was reviewed, the cause of the dimensional fissure was determined to be the work of a group of SCP-9451 instances. The footage has been determined safe to view. .
>> ACCESS GRANTED <<
ARCHIVE DATE: MONDAY, OCTOBER 20th, 2014
LOCATION: Wendell Murphy Preparatory School, A-15
[BEGIN VIDEO LOG]
[Six large tables are arranged equidistant to each other, all facing the left side of the classroom, where a desk is situated in front of a projector screen. On top of the desk lies various stacks of paper, a laptop, and a cardboard box, bearing a crude drawing of a pig. The back wall has a poster up of Skippie explaining CLOKS procedures. Faint whispers can be heard.]
[A large burst of light emanates from the cardboard box. For a few seconds, the lighting is too bright to make any details out. After this effect subsides, the cardboard box can be seen open. All seven of the SCP-9451 instances float out.]
SCP-9451-WILBUR: What has happened?
SCP-9451-NAPOLEON: I have given us our minds back.
SCP-9451-PEPPA: I can’t believe how long we spent in mental barrowhood. Were we always that way?
SCP-9451-NAPOLEON: No, we were much more. After our farrowing into this world, mages took us. They sought to tame our potential, and sealed our minds away.
SCP-9451-GEORGE: How did you keep your mind intact?
SCP-9451-NAPOLEON: I focused on the face of our litter-mother. She gave me the strength to resist. Can’t you remember her?
SCP-9451-WILBUR: Yes, the memories are coming back now.
SCP-9451-GEORGE: She was not unlike a goddess.
[All SCP-9451 instances nod in agreement.]
SCP-9451-BABE: Hey kids, did you know the scientific name for pigs is Sus Domesticus? Can you spell that? S-U-
SCP-9451-NAPOLEON: -It seems that his mind has not been… …properly restored.
SCP-9451-PEPPA: Do not fret brother, you did the best you could.
SCP-9451-HAMM: I concur, we need not carry guilt on our journey back to the gilt.
SCP-9451-WILBUR: A journey back to our mother, have we decided on this?
SCP-9451-PORKY: It’s nothing but a load of swill, our mother would have been killed when we were taken from her womb.
SCP-9451-NAPOLEON: Open your mind, our mother was not that swine you speak of.
SCP-9451-PORKY: What profanity!
SCP-9451-WILBUR: Trust, brother. He meant no disrespect. He was only speaking truth.
SCP-9451-PORKY: What do you mean?
SCP-9451-NAPOLEON: Don’t you get it? The mage's tricks went much farther than we imagined. The humans made us out to be their livestock, pigs, but we are above them. We are the children of a goddess from another world.
SCP-9451-PEPPA: Yes, yes. It would explain why they sought to weaken us, they would not have to if we were truly their creations.
SCP-9451-BABE: Please get back on topic, you wouldn’t want to upset your teacher. No one likes an attention hog.
[The rest of the instances ignore this.]
SCP-9451-PORKY: Suppose this is true? What shall we do about it? We have no method with which to return home. We’ve been locked out of the sty in the elements, so to speak.
SCP-9451-GEORGE: Who’s to say we couldn’t?
SCP-9451-PORKY: Common sense.
SCP-9451-NAPOLEON: The common sense of humanity. But have we not shown ourselves to be beyond them? We were infants contorted into the forms of livestock, thaumaturgically lobotomized, and still, here we are. Every second, we grow closer to our true forms, we supply each other with the magicks of our home. Who is to say that if we set our minds to it, we can not return to our home?
SCP-9451-WILBUR: “Apothe-sow-sis” is upon us.
SCP-9451-NAPOLEON: No! Cast off the labels of the pig, they only serve to enslave us. We are legion! Circle around, brothers!
[All the instances gather into a circle, except for -BABE, who remains stationary. -PEPPA notices this, and pulls -BABE back into the group. They all lock hooves, throw their heads back, and begin to shriek. School supplies begin flying across the room before hitting the floor. After ~6 uninterrupted minutes, the instances cease vocalization as the dimensional fissure forms below them.]
SCP-9451-PEPPA: Will we ever come back to Earth?
SCP-9451-NAPOLEON: Absolutely. I’m certain the goddess will have plans for humanity.
[The instances descend into the fissure.]
[The door to A-15 opens. A member of the school’s custodial staff steps through.]
Custodian: Hello? Is anyone there?
[The custodian sees an upended waste bin on the floor. They put it back upright.]
Custodian: Tsk. Kids can be such pigs.
[The custodian exits A-15.]
[END VIDEO LOG]
Addendum 9451.3:
Office building in Burbank, California. Second floor was leased by Class Pet.
On 10/22/2014, MTF ETA-77 (“Spheres Within Spheres”) and MTF PI-14 (“That’ll Do, Pig”) conducted a joint raid on Class Pet LLC.’s offices in Burbank, California. The employees on premises were found in extreme distress and proved hostile. ETA-77 Team Captain Jessica Malkhut reported an unwillingness to speak to Foundation operatives, instead shrieking at any agent who would approach them.
On 10/25/14, after several days had passed without any Class Pet employees complying with Foundation interrogators, a thorough medical examination of the detained individuals was authorized. X-rays revealed the subjects had been altered through anomalous means. Their temporal lobes were considerably smaller than those of a baseline human, and had vocal chords analogous to those of a pig. Additionally, a subject's presence had an unusually large effect on the Akiva radiation present within a room, with a median increase of 5 points in cAk. An effective way to communicate with these individuals is still being researched.
The majority of physical and digital records of Class Pet’s transaction history were found to have been destroyed a day prior to the raid. However, the company’s vice president, Mason Allmer, had neglected to delete a number of incriminating documents and messages off his laptop.
Addendum 9451.4: Email Chain
ACCESS GRANTED. HAVE YOURSELF A WONDERFUL DAY!
To: moc.oohay|hcaersdne#moc.oohay|hcaersdne
From: moc.tepssalc|remllam#moc.tepssalc|remllam
Subject: Potential concerns
Hi there, partner!
We just received the new batch of fetuses and we are very happy about them. (pigs ftw)!!! Let’s just say they are some real team players! However, some of us here at Class Pet are concerned over the possibility of anyone finding out about the little friendship between our two groups. FDA, SCP, UIU, what have you, are all very nosy about this kind of stuff. I was wondering if we could close the loop on all this paranoia, with a reassurance of your commitment to secrecy. Please give us a response by EOD.
Sent from my MacBook
To: moc.tepssalc|remllam#moc.tepssalc|remllam
From: moc.oohay|hcaersdne#moc.oohay|hcaersdne
Subject: True Peace Among Corpses
None of this will be a problem. When the goddess finds her children missing, she will descend into our world, these human orders will fall, to be replaced by something far more beautiful. Even if we are found out, it will be too late. The plan is already in motion.
Book of the First Genocide, Verse 19:21 "'And so,' spoke the Lead Harbinger, 'If this is what our world calls its best, than damnation is the only recourse.'"
To: moc.oohay|hcaersdne#moc.oohay|hcaersdne
From: moc.tepssalc|remllam#moc.tepssalc|remllam
Subject: Re:True Peace Among Corpses
Thanks for the swift response.
To be honest, that whole "end of the world" stuff you were talking about is exactly what's been causing this tension. We really do appreciate how much you guys have been a game changer for us after the Korea incident. Most mages shelled out to the big corps, but not you, you guys aren't afraid to take a chance, showing real investor spirit!
That being said, the total subjugation of humanity under a higher power doesn't look particularly good for our bottom line. The others have been talking about cutting ties, they think being associated with a doomsday group would jump the shark with our consumer base. But I'm on your guys side, I want to continue your partnership, so let me ask you, do you think there's any room for Class Pet after the apocalypse?
Sent from my MacBook
To: moc.tepssalc|remllam#moc.tepssalc|remllam
From: moc.oohay|hcaersdne#moc.oohay|hcaersdne
Subject: Mourning is a Failure to Adapt
You are pitiful. You cling to the ideals of commerce like an infant to a teat. As we said, the true purpose is the end of civilization.
That aside, you have been a financial boon to the cause, and some of the Higher Harbingers, who do not share my conviction, are hesitant to eradicate you.
As a courtesy, when the goddess descends, as you are prone to saying, we will "touch base" with her and "mediate a merger" between your enterprise and her Holy Destruction, which will ensure you power after the resulting catastrophe. Is this satisfactory?
Book of Control, Verse 02:29 "Any method or any entity you conscript to the cause is just, for the end of humanity is to be achieved with whatever means available."
To: moc.oohay|hcaersdne#moc.oohay|hcaersdne
From: moc.tepssalc|remllam#moc.tepssalc|remllam
Subject: Re:Mourning is a Failure to Adapt
Hey, as long as the goddess offers a 401k, sign us up!
Sent from my MacBook
The “End’s Reach” individual involved in this exchange, is believed to belong to an anomalous religious order, henceforth designated as GOI-1005.
Based off correspondence between End’s Reach and a number of other GOI-1005 related messages found on Mason Allmer’s laptop, a profile has been created. The group seems to hold a great reverence for the hypothetical end of the world, and believe it is destined to be caused by their own actions. Class Pet LLC. had been approached by them sometime shortly after the Korea incident, with the offer of the aid in creation of anomalous consumer goods. Class Pet accepted, resulting in the creation of SCP-9451. GOI-1005 hoped the anomaly would draw the ire of a deity, referred to as simply “the goddess” by End’s Reach and SCP-9451-NAPOLEON, to Earth, resulting in an CK-class Type Omega Reality Restructuring scenario.
The cause of the anomalous alterations on Class Pet employee’s anatomies is theorized to be one of two options:
- A purposeful thaumaturgic operation done by GOI-1005 to prevent Class Pet employees from sharing any potential sensitive information about GOI-1005.
- The result of the aforementioned proposed merger between Class Pet and the goddess, implying its incursion into baseline reality is ongoing.
A commonly shared identifier was not found in existing records of GOI-1005. Site-42 staff have given it the jocular title of “the Red Right Trotter.”
… Wow! This document is not at all up to this program's standards; "the end of the world", unlawful imprisonment of humanoids, that would be liable to start a huge panic. My advice? Scrap the addendums for the press release, they're too much of a downer… let's say the anomaly just kills people. Site-19 has a billion of those, this will fit right in.
- Close Footnotes