SCP-9593 - Prestige TeeVee

PlaguePJP: LII

by PlaguePJP

Item#: 9593

Level2

Containment Class:

neutralized

Secondary Class:

{$secondary-class}

Disruption Class:

{$disruption-class}

Risk Class:

{$risk-class}

link to memo

SCP-9593 Promotional Poster.

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-9593 has concluded, and a standard Foundation media blackout has been initiated. Foundation Web Crawlers have scrubbed all references to SCP-9593 from social media websites, entertainment forums, and printed media. Two copies of Prestige TeeVee are stored in Site-322's anomalous media archive. Viewers of the show must have a memetic resistance score (MRS) in the 93rd percentile or above in order to conduct research.

Description: SCP-9593 is Prestige TeeVee, a limited television series produced by the Totleighsoft Entertainment Division and written by Daniel Enforcement.

The show's six episodes follow Dennis Keller, an insurance broker who has been defrauding elderly clients for the past 4 years, and his family and friends. Episodes range from 55 to 70 minutes in length and premiered simultaneously on every streaming service at 10 PM every Monday night from March 4th, 2018, to April 8, 2018.

Any individual who views more than 15 minutes of any episode of SCP-9593 will become convinced that Prestige TeeVee is one of the greatest artistic achievements in the history of the medium. The show ostensibly contains no meaningful character development, no discernible thematic content, and no narrative tension.

Individual subjects experiencing this anomaly invariably disagree on what the show is about, describing it as fundamentally concerned with masculinity, capitalism, grief, and the American family. When subjects are shown other interpretations, they will agree that those readings are also correct.

Addendum 9593.1: Character Synoposis

DENNIS KELLER — played by Kyle Chandler
A 52-year-old from Columbus, Ohio, and regional manager of a mid-sized insurance company. For four years, he has been subtly defrauding elderly clients by enrolling them in unnecessary policies and pocketing the difference. In addition to enjoying grilling and collecting old baseball cards, he drives a three-year-old Lexus.

CAROL KELLER — played by Melissa Leo
Dennis Keller's wife. She has not inquired despite being aware of the unexplained income. She keeps a vegetable garden, loves her book club, and is characterized by her neighbors as kind and trustworthy. By most quantifiable standards, her marriage to Dennis is stable.

RYAN KELLER — played by Lucas Hedges
The seventeen-year-old son of Dennis and Carol. Throughout the series, he is gloomy and reclusive.

PHIL ACCARDO — played by Michael Shannon
Dennis's associate, hired to handle circumstances in which clients who have been defrauded become liabilities. Throughout the series, it is implied that he has the capacity for violence. Dennis is personally uninteresting to him and professionally competent.

ARTHUR BEEM — played by Bob Odenkirk
Dennis Keller's direct boss at the brokerage. Despite working with Dennis for 9 years, Beem is unaware of, or shows no interest in, Dennis's activities outside quarterly performance metrics, where Dennis routinely places in the top 3. Every other Friday, the two go out to lunch and discuss football. Affected viewers refer to Beem as "the moral center of the show."

NEIL KESSLER — played by Shea Whigham
Dennis Keller's closest friend for 30 years. Kessler has no connection to Dennis's fraudulent activities and works in commercial HVAC installation. About twice a month, the two go to a public golf course to play golf.

GARY — played by Tim Blake Nelson
Next-door neighbor to Dennis Keller, who is never given a last name. He appears in four episodes, but only briefly, with no dialogue beyond small talk. His Weber Summit series grill is worth about $1,400 more than Dennis's current model. This is the only matter to have elicited a discernible emotional response from Dennis throughout the entirety of SCP-9593.

TOMMY ACCARDO — played by Mahershala Ali
Phil Accardo's younger brother, who appears in a singular scene in the second episode, eats a sandwich while Phil and Dennis talk in a diner. He doesn't speak, look either man in the eye, or respond to what they say. He finishes his sandwich and walks out of the frame.

As of the date of this filing, users on a variety of television/entertainment-focused message boards have made over 43,000 posts about how Tommy Accardo is the last truly innocent person in the world of the show.

PATRICIA WOHL — played by Judith Ivey
A 71-year-old retired schoolteacher who has been a client of Dennis Keller for over a decade. Over the course of four years, she signed up for six unnecessary insurance policies, generating approximately $34,000 in fake commissions. She is financially stable because she receives a state pension and hasn't noticed the difference.

Addendum 9593.2: Truncated Episode Descriptions

EPISODE 1 — "MARGIN"

The episode begins with an aerial shot of Columbus, Ohio, at dawn. Twelve minutes are dedicated to showing Dennis's morning routine. He makes coffee, checks his email, and drives to work on I-71 while a loud orchestral score plays throughout the entire segment.

The episode's central sequence shows Dennis meeting with Patricia Wohl, a 74-year-old widow, in his office. During a 44-minute one-shot conversation, he signs her up for three insurance policies that she doesn't need and will never use. The camera films this from a distance, through glass, framed like a security camera.

The last scene, a 4-minute, 11-second shot, shows Dennis standing by his grill in the backyard at night. The score reaches a climax. He is likely considering whether or not to get a new grill, eventually deciding it doesn't need to be replaced before going inside. The end credits roll over a still shot of the grill in the dark.

Notable Audience Reactions

Anonymous 03/05/18(Tue)01:43:55 No.40500921

>show set in columbus ohio
>main character is a guiltless sociopath

What did they mean by this?

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r/prestigeteevee • 10 hr. ago
elonmudkip

The Grill Essay

I want to be precise about what Enforcement has accomplished here because I do not think the current discourse is adequately capturing it.

The grill is a Weber Genesis II E-310, retailing for about $650. Enforcement opens his series on it and closes his first episode on it, and in between, he gives us seventy minutes of a man's life picture.

This is a masterwork. What Enforcement has done in just seventy minutes dismantles the entire grammar of what we expect from television. This episode will have the impact that The Sopranos' "College" did back in the '90s. This is our impasse, and it's important to understand that so we can sincerely appreciate what we're viewing.

The end credits roll over a static shot of the grill in the dark after he has gone inside. It is the best, final image of any television episode I've seen in a decade. I suspect Enforcement understands exactly why this is so effective and has chosen not to tell us, and that this withheld explanation is itself the argument the show is making.

One episode. I am not prepared for what comes next.

Prestige TeeVee 2018

★★★★★ ❤︎ Watched 4 Mar 2018

he just wants to grill for god's sake

EPISODE 2 — "TRIBUTARY"

A client's son calls the brokerage inquiring about his mother's policies. This call lasts 5 minutes and is shot entirely from Dennis's side; his expression doesn't change throughout. Accardo is called into Dennis's office, and the matter is referred to him. Later, they meet briefly at a diner on Karl Road during their lunch break, accompanied by Tommy Accardo. Dennis orders nothing, and Accardo orders a coffee he does not drink, and Tommy silently eats a pre-packaged sandwich.

Accardo manages to track down the caller, and it is implied that he breaks the man's hand; this is not shown on screen.

The remainder of the episode follows Dennis's Tuesday schedule. He attends a staff meeting where Arthur Beem discusses regional targets. A PowerPoint presentation is projected behind him; every slide has different clipart images of handshakes. Dennis later eats a ham and cheese sandwich at his desk and clocks out at 5:03 PM, subsequently driving home on I-71 in silence for six minutes and eighteen seconds of screentime. Later that evening, he looks at various Facebook marketplace listings for boats before closing the laptop without much apparent thought. This is not mentioned to Carol.

The episode ends with a still shot of the closed laptop on the coffee table, as credits roll over it.

Notable Audience Reactions

Prestige TeeVee 2018

★★★★★ ❤︎ Watched 11 Mar 2018

Tommy Accardo does not speak. He doesn't look at Dennis, or at Phil. Tommy is in one scene, a scene that's four minutes long, and I have watched it 47 times. I need everyone to understand what I am about to say.

He knows.

He sits down, unwraps the sandwich, eats the sandwich, and leaves. No questions, no reactions, perfect stoic stillness. That is not the behavior of a man who doesn't know. That is a man who has decided what he is going to know and what he is not going to know, and he made that decision a long time ago. He is at peace with it in a way that clearly no one else in this show is even close to.

Dennis Keller has been committing fraud for four years, and he cannot stand in his own backyard without the guilt and horrifying, prospective consequences creeping up his back and running down his face. Phil Accardo breaks hands for a living, and every scene he's in feels like a held breath. These men are being destroyed by what they carry.

Tommy Accardo ate a sandwich and walked out of the diner.

He is the only free man in the entire show. Enforcement put him there for four minutes to show us what it looks like to be unencumbered in the world, and then took him away just as fast.

Anonymous 04/02/18(Tue)23:43:24 No.40628819 >>40628826 >>40628838 >>40628841 >>40628866 >>40628875 >>40628916 >>40628918 >>40628936 >>40628969 >>40628974 >>40629001 >>40629015 >>40629061 >>40629062 >>40629084 >>40629092 >>40629131 >>40629135 >>40629154 >>40629184 >>40629190 >>40629214 >>40629225 >>40629272 >>40629275 >>40629291 >>40629319 >>40629329 >>40629373 >>40629375 >>40629396 >>40629409 >>40629444 >>40629451 >>40629477 >>40629492 >>40629541 >>40629542 >>40629565 >>40629574

thread

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r/prestigeteevee • 10 hr. ago
slutforslime

I don't think anyone is talking about this but Dennis has been looking at boats

okay so i just finished my second rewatch and i had to make an account just to post this because i cannot find a single thread about it and i feel like i'm losing my mind.

episode two. 47 minutes in. dennis is on the couch and carol is in the other room and he opens his laptop and if you pause it and look closely at the screen he is on what appears to be a boat listing website. it is on screen for maybe three seconds before he closes it.

something is happening with the boats. i'm sure of it.

EPISODE 3 — "THE LAKE"

The episode opens with Dennis at a boat dealership, looking silently at a 2019 Cobalt 25SC priced at $47,000. He speaks briefly with a salesman, politely declines purchasing the boat today, and takes the dealer's card. This excursion is not mentioned to Carol.

Dennis and Carol take a weekend trip to a rental property on Buckeye Lake, which they found on Airbnb. The drive is depicted in real time for approximately 11 minutes. The couple listens to The Very Best of Daryl Hall & John Oates and briefly considers stopping at a Cracker Barrel, but they decline.

Dennis stands on the dock of the lake house, looking at the water, while Carol unpacks her clothes. The score reaches its most expansive arrangement in the series to date, suggesting that Dennis is likely considering buying a boat again. During dinner (pan-fried fish with vegetables), Neil Kessler calls to say he is thinking about getting a dog. Dennis says, "Sounds good," and asks if he has breeds in mind. Kessler says, "probably something medium-sized." The conversation lasts six minutes.

In the morning, Dennis stands at the water's edge for a long time while Carol is inside. He observes a neighboring family launching a bowrider from the nearby dock, which Dennis watches until it is out of sight. He goes inside and makes coffee. The episode ends on the drive home. They stop at Cracker Barrel on the way back and discuss whether Ryan needs new soccer cleats.

Notable Audience Reactions

A Fuckin Horse
@afuckinh0rse42

he went to a lake with his wife and stood on a dock and stared at the water for so long that the orchestra started playing.

9:57 PM · Mar 19, 2018

★ 10/10

The card is still in his pocket.

›

The card is in his pocket on the dock, in his pocket at dinner, in his pocket at Cracker Barrel while he and Carol discuss whether Ryan needs new soccer cleats. He never mentioned it to anyone.

Enforcement hasn't shown us that card since we saw it in that quick, polite interaction. He knows he doesn't need to, because he knows we know exactly where it is.

⋮

Prestige TeeVee 2018

★★★★★ ❤︎ Watched 18 Mar 2018

me pretending to be a boat so kyle chandler can look at me lustfully

EPISODE 4 — "BACK PORCH"

Ryan returns from school clearly upset. He stomps up to his room without saying hello to his parents. Dennis knocks on his door twice during the episode, and both times Ryan says he is fine. The second knock occupies three minutes of screen time, including the walk up the stairs, the walk down the hallway, the knock, the brief exchange, and the walk back down the stairs, culminating with Dennis sitting and watching television. Carol tells Dennis he should talk to Ryan, and Dennis agrees.

The back porch scene occupies forty-one minutes of the episode. Dennis brings Ryan a Coca-Cola without being asked and invites him outside, where they sit in two white wicker chairs. Ryan comments on the weather, and Dennis agrees that it's "getting cold out." Ryan reveals he lost a video game tournament his school was hosting. Dennis is vaguely sympathetic, questioning whether there was a prize, which Ryan says there wasn't. The pair then discusses Ryan's upcoming soccer game, and Dennis asks if Ryan needs new cleats. Ryan says that he doesn't.

They sit for an additional three minutes without speaking. Dennis takes out his phone at one point and looks at the boat listing, putting his phone away before Ryan can see it. Ryan eventually comments that he's getting cold and goes inside. Dennis remains on the porch for two minutes and forty seconds.

Notable Audience Reactions

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r/prestigeteevee • 10 hr. ago
PuboCleefFan

41 minutes on a porch and no music until the last thirty seconds. Chandler doesn't blink. 10/10 all time.

★ 10/10

Bravo, Dan.

›

What Enforcement is doing here is almost unbearably cogent. The question about cleats isn't about cleats. Dennis can't say "I love you," so he asks Ryan if he needs new cleats. Ryan can't say "I'm hurting," so he says "I'm getting cold." That conversation has everything to do with how their relationship works. Two men who can't even look at themselves, thirty years apart and nothing else.

And the phone. The boat. He keeps it from his son. He can't let Ryan know that he wants something. That is the worst thing that happens in the episode, and it only lasts about four seconds. Enforcement even calls attention to it.

⋮

Whatever Happened There
@ravioliindapocketoli

what kind of shit fuck wife pawns all the parenting off to her husband?????

10:39 AM · Mar 29, 2018

EPISODE 5 — "SUFFICIENT"

Arthur Beem opens the Friday meeting by announcing that the brokerage experienced its strongest quarter in six years. He singles out Dennis by name. The meeting lasts 22 minutes and covers Q4 performance goals, the malfunctioning second-floor printer, and the upcoming office Halloween party, for which a signup sheet is passed around.

Patricia Wohl calls Dennis to say thank you and mentions that Biscuit, the cat, has been sick but is recovering after surgery. The call lasts approximately nine minutes before Dennis returns to his email. Neil Kessler texts a photo of a beagle puppy he is considering adopting from the Franklin County Dog Shelter, which Dennis responds to with a "thumbs up" reaction.

Later that evening, Dennis shows Carol the boat listing on his laptop. She looks at it for a moment and says, "It seems nice, and it is up to [him]." He looks at it for another moment then closes the laptop while Carol goes back to reading her book. The camera holds on the closed laptop for an extended period. The same score that played over the lake in episode three plays here. Dennis then gets up to get a glass of water and goes to bed.

Notable Audience Reactions

Anonymous 04/02/18(Tue)23:43:24 No.40720405
NOOOOO YOU CAN'T JUST SHOW ME A BOAT LISTING AND EXPECT ME TO SAY ANYTHING OTHER THAN "IT'S UP TO YOU" BEFORE GOING BACK TO MY BOOK
I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU FEEL COMPLETELY ALONE IN A DECISION ABOUT A BOAT ON A FRIDAY NIGHT AND CALL THAT A MARRIAGE

Anonymous 04/02/18(Tue)00:07:07 No.40730592
>>40720405
I hate this fucking cunt.

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r/prestigeteevee • 4 hr. ago
suckledingus

Is Carol Keller the worst character ever put on television?

EPISODE 6 — "SUMMIT"

Gary waves from his driveway as Dennis retrieves the Sunday newspaper. Dennis waves back, but takes a moment to glance at the Weber Summit on Gary's porch. He makes a brief, vaguely disgusted expression before returning inside. Fifteen minutes of the episode are dedicated to Dennis eating breakfast alone before sitting with his wife and son in the living room as all three scroll on their phones.

That afternoon, an automated email appeared on his phone from the boat dealership informing him that the 2019 Cobalt 25SC had been sold. He responds to the email, thanking them for the information, likely missing the "DO-NOT-REPLY" address. He opens a browser and searches for the Weber website, where he purchases a Weber Summit Series grill for $1,800. Dennis tells his family, who feign interest before returning to their phones.

The final scene is Dennis grilling in his backyard at dusk on the new grill. The score reaches its fullest and final arrangement. The camera holds on Dennis's face for three minutes and twelve seconds. He flips a burger.

End credits roll in silence over a static shot of the grill after he has gone inside.

Notable Audience Reactions

★ 10/10

Legendary.

›

The mindspace I'm in isn't conducive to me accurately portraying my feelings about this masterwork. I'll leave it at this: I hate that it's over, but I can't wait to tell my grandkids I saw this air in real-time.

Timeless. Powerful. Beautiful.

⋮

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r/prestigeteevee • 12 hr. ago
thogmuppettoucher

It was an honor watching with you all.

where do i even go from here

nothing else is or will be this good

what's the point?

Sacred Propane
@thesacredandthepropane

Tony Soprano

Walter White

Don Draper

Dennis Keller

12:03 PM · Apr 8, 2018

Addendum 9593.3: Foundation Intervention

The Foundation was made aware of SCP-9593 following the airing of its first episode. Multiple attempts were made to intervene and cut off SCP-9593 broadcasts each week, but viewers could still access illicit streaming websites to continue viewing new episodes.

Instead, the Foundation opted to continue with the show's removal on mainstream streaming services and placed pixel trackers on 3,500,000 URLs associated with illegal video streaming, with the goal of amnesticizing viewers and scrubbing the internet of references to it following the airing of the final episode. This was successful, and SCP-9593 was fully contained on April 11th, 2018. Interviews with the cast were held, and none had any recollection of filming the show.

Addendum 9593.4: Daniel Enforcement

There is no record of Daniel Enforcement existing prior to or after the airing of SCP-9593. The current leading hypothesis is that Enforcement was an artificial, biological vessel created by SCP-2803-A to give the show's writing room a face. During the SCP-9593's airing, Enforcement hosted a variety of interviews with various media outlets.

The following is an excerpt from the final recorded interview of Enforcement, conducted by People Magazine on April 9, 2018.

TRANSCRIPT (truncated)

«BEGIN LOG»

Interviewer: How does it feel to have created one of the most acclaimed shows in television history?

Enforcement: It feels very good. Dennis is a person to whom many humans, like me, find relatable.

Interviewer: What drew you to the subject of insurance fraud specifically?

Enforcement: Insurance is a thing that humans do. Dennis does it in a way that is not correct and that is dubious to watch. This is drama.

Interviewer: Kyle Chandler has been extraordinary in the role. What was it like working with him?

Enforcement: Kyle Chandler has a face. It holds the camera. We are pleased with Kyle Chandler's face.

Interviewer: Many contend that his performance is worthy of awards. What's your read?

Enforcement: Such as?

Interviewer: People's Choice, or an Emmy…?

Enforcement: Emmy sounds like quite the beautiful woman. I would think a strong, handsome man like Mr. Kyle Chandler would appreciate procreating with her.

Interviewer: The boat motif has resonated enormously with audiences—

Enforcement: Dennis is a very relatable person. I also have never bought a boat.

Interviewer: Where did that motif come from?

Enforcement: Humans, like us, want things, but sometimes they do not get them. Dennis wanted the boat. He did not get it. He got a grill. This is also something humans do.

Interviewer: It sounds almost like you're describing the human condition.

(Pause.)

Enforcement: Like bubonic plague?

Interviewer: Right, but — what I mean is, Dennis represents something universal about people. The quiet desperation of modern life and the things we want but can't bring ourselves to get.

Enforcement: Dennis wanted the boat. The boat was forty-seven thousand dollars. He had the money.

Interviewer: Sure, but metaphorically—

Enforcement: He wanted the boat. Someone else bought the boat. He got the grill. The grill is good also.

Interviewer: But why couldn't he just—

Enforcement: Gary had the good one. Now, Dennis has the same one. This is resolved.

Interviewer: You think it's resolved?

(Long pause.)

Enforcement: Dennis is grilling. The episode is over. Yes.

Interviewer: As much as the viewers loved the ending, many watchers feel like there's so much more room to explore the Kellers and resolve some more threads.

Enforcement: (Pause) They are still watching?

Interviewer: Well, in a sense. They're still thinking about it. It's staying with them. I'm sure thousands are also actively rewatching and analyzing as we speak.

(Very long pause.)

Enforcement: Good. That is good. They should keep doing that.

Interviewer: Why's that?

Enforcement: TotleighSoft thanks you for your continued engagement with the Dennis Keller property. Dennis got the grill. TotleighSoft is satisfied with all of these outcomes.

(Call ends.)

«END LOG»