“efficient bathroom substance”
Item #: SCP-9664
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-9664 is held in a standard safe-class item storage locker at Site-73.
Description: SCP-9664 is a 100 mL can of pressurized foam shaving cream. The can does not match the make of any known manufacturers; its label is branded with the phrase “lots-in-1 shave cream” in large bold text. Scattered across the label in smaller text are additional phrases such as “efficient bathroom substance,” “counter space saved,” and “travel easy.” On the back of the can, in much smaller print, is the phrase “product of FACTORY.”
The substance within the can is identical in composition to typical non-anomalous foam shaving cream products. Application of this substance (designated SCP-9664-A) to an area of the body that is then passed over with any type of shaving razor, however, will not result in hair being cut. Instead, the substance will produce the effect of other different hygiene products, the specific nature of which varies depending on the part of the body to which it has been applied. Some examples of these effects can be found in the table below:
Application Area
Effect
Underarms
Substance behaves like antiperspirant deodorant.
Face
Achieves the same effect as facial/moisturizing cream.
Various other parts of skin
Skin reacts as if applied with soap.
Hair on the head
Substance will act as shampoo. Rinsing of hair and subsequent reapplication will then result in effects of conditioner.
In all cases, SCP-9664-A will prove to be highly effective at the function it is performing, demonstrating an apparent quality comparable to high-end hygiene products. While the use of a razor is necessary to achieve this outcome, the effect of the razor itself is entirely neutralized and carries no risk of slicing any hair or skin where SCP-9664-A has been applied. SCP-9664 will gradually replenish with time such that it will become full once more within 12 hours of its last use.
Straight razor formerly belonging to Joseph Sawyer.
Discovery: Prior to acquisition by the Foundation, SCP-9664 was in the possession of 24-year-old Joseph Sawyer, a resident of Round Rock, Texas. According to acquired electronic communication records, Sawyer reportedly purchased SCP-9664 at a gas station convenience store by the name of Special Mart alongside Interstate 35 north of Waco, Texas. Sawyer discovered its anomalous properties after an attempt to shave with his straight razor instead resulted in the application of facial cream. Sawyer was subsequently able to ascertain SCP-9664’s true nature and began to make regular use of SCP-9664-A over the following months. Sawyer gradually began using SCP-9664-A exclusively in place of other hygiene products, insisting that SCP-9664-A was much more “efficient” than any alternatives. By the time the Foundation acquired the object, Sawyer was going so far as to use SCP-9664-A instead of hand soap to wash his hands while in public restrooms.
The Foundation was alerted to SCP-9664’s existence approximately one year after Sawyer’s discovery of the object, while he was staying in San Antonio, Texas to attend a friend’s wedding. He was sharing a hotel room with a different friend at this time. Both individuals had overslept the day of the wedding and, upon waking up, found themselves racing to get dressed so that they could leave for the venue in a timely manner.
Due to the rushed atmosphere in the hotel room, Sawyer failed to realize he had grabbed his friend’s non-anomalous can of shaving cream as he prepared to brush his teeth.