Item#: 9816
Level1
Containment Class:
neutralized
Secondary Class:
none
Disruption Class:
none
Risk Class:
none
Updated Procedures: All personnel are required to read the attached incident log and watch the video for training purposes. No exceptions.
Incident Log-9816-1
Foreword: The following are two entries from Dr. Tojo's journal.
1/12/26
Party was a shitshow. Billy got wayyyy too drunk (crazy right?) and Zoey threw up all over the place. Took care of her for the night. Went to go wash her throw-up clothes and almost used the washing machine lol (I was a bit buzzed ;sob;) Managed to spend the rest of the night blissfully intact, all limbs accounted for. Also finally managed to finish the vid; hoping to post soon! Wanna get feedback from Daniel's first tho. Anyway, bye!
1/14/26
Got assigned to SCP-[REDACTED] :c. I mean, like, it's not dangerous which is nice but it's pretty boring; on the plus side I got a ton of free time now! Maybe too much? … I've been thinking about the washing machine… like, okay look you can't blame me. I kinda wanna press it. Like, how do they know?? Why the hell would they keep it in the freaking laundry room????? I think it's some sort of prank. There are no details about its discovery (/creation?), no explanation for the con-procs, and no evidence of its anomalous nature. IT CAN'T JUST BE ME RIGHT???
Foreword: The following is a video of Dr. Tojo's unauthorized testing of SCP-9816, which was filmed by his colleagues.
RELOAD
[BEGIN]
The feed is partially covered by a finger. A large crowd murmurs behind the camera. Tojo waves.
Tojo: Recording?
Roth: Yeah, uh, go ahead whenever you're ready.
Tojo stretches his arms and takes a breath before speaking.
Tojo: Director - or whoever made the SCP-9816 entry - that was pretty clever!
He walks toward the machine and rips off the sticky note on its panel.
Tojo: I'm guessing you all had a few good laughs while making the entry, but the days of SCP-9816 terrorizing the Site are over. I don't think you all realize how scary it is to think you are going to die if you make a single wrong move in here.
He rests a hand on the machine.
Tojo: This might be the most stressful anomaly on site, and we have SCP-[REDACTED], so that is saying something. It was funny, but one day you need to realize a joke has run its course. For SCP-9816, today is that day.
Tojo braces; he flinches; he presses the power button. A little jingle plays. The room lets out a breath.
Tojo: Not going to lie, I half thought it might actually–
The machine explodes. The blast rips the camera out of Roth’s hands, launching it across the room. It falls, still recording through a broken, dirty lens. Exact details are difficult to make out due to the prevalence of unaccompanied and unidentifiable body parts. The video continues to play until Site medics arrive.
[END]
Addendum-9816-1
Special Containment Procedures: All Site-19 personnel must be briefed on SCP-9816. Additionally, a sticky note reading "DO NOT USE" must be placed on the machine.
Description: SCP-9816 is a washing machine that explodes upon use.