1/8757 LEVEL 1/8757

CLASSIFIED

Item #: SCP-8757

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-8757 is contained in a storage chamber at Site-55. One remote controlled camera drone, with a battery-life of six months, is to be stationed inside SCP-8757 at all times. Due to risk of damage from SCP-8757-B, the drone is to observe the sub-anomalies from a distance.

Description: SCP-8757 is a large (10m x 3.8m x 3.8m) replica of a lampshade mustache, made of polypropylene. The hair has a coarse texture and ranks 3 on the Mohs hardness scale. Most of the hair is densely packed, however there are spots along its surface which give way more easily, and lead to the interior of SCP-8757. The inside of SCP-8757 is a superspatial interior, which is constantly expanding at a rate of 0.2mm per day.

The internal space is a tunnel network made of polypropylene hair, with a fluctuating topography. Matter is regularly produced from the tunnel walls, taking the form of objects symbolizing masculinity and concepts associated with it. The types of items are typically random, however there are sections of tunnel dominated by a single type. Additionally, there are specific locations within SCP-8757 that embody certain concepts, and remain immune to the changing topography. These include:

A lake composed of a green liquid made of 3% alcohol concentration. Unlabeled aluminum cans of varying size dot the lake. Near the edge of one of the walls is shoreline composed of sand grains, with a signpost reading "Beer ADULT JUICE Beach."
An auto racing track with a singular stock car constantly in motion. Seated in the spectator benches are ninety-nine muscular mannequins and one stuffed bull. It is unknown if there is a driver in the car.
A construction site populated by animatronic T-Rexes wearing hardhats. It cannot be determined what the unfinished structure in the center is meant to be.

The origin point of the anomaly's growth is SCP-8757-A: a mustached human head made of polypropylene plastic, with both ends of its mustache connected to SCP-8757. When disconnected from SCP-8757-B, the sub-anomaly is considered non-sapient, with the only vocalizations it makes being two random Spanish words. Additionally, SCP-8757-A is subject to the changing topography, with its mustache dragging it to another section of SCP-8757.

SCP-8757-B is a muscular human body made of polypropylene plastic. It is non-sapient, but believed to be sentient, and hostile to animate objects and people. The sub-anomaly displays a great deal of strength, the force of its punch measured at 500 newtons. When disconnected from SCP-8757-A, the sub-anomaly will aimlessly wander SCP-8757.

When both sub-anomalies are connected, SCP-8757-A is capable of sapient thought and speech, and has full control of SCP-8757-B. Its personality is amicable, and has answered questions posed by personnel when prompted. According to SCP-8757-A, the anomalous properties of SCP-8757 were not intended by its creator, and are a result of a screw connecting its head to its body being absent. Due to the changing topography of SCP-8757, locating -A has been difficult; limited interviews have shown -A to have a vague awareness of a location known as "Fun Land," and is familiar with other anomalies created by GoI-563.

External Material: During initial exploration of SCP-8757, the following note was found sticking out of a wall.

Hi, kids! Now you are the proud owner of Señor Senor, who is the Tiny Señor line of Professor Funtastic! Try to collect all the fun for hours!
Let your señors here for fun! Pick up all the señors, super fun! Fun for you! Fun of your friends!

Señor Boom!
Señor Fluff!
Señor Senor!!
Señor Senorita!!
Señor Fun!
Señor Hole!
Señor Pig!
Señor Purple!
Señor Taste!

Selected Interview: The following log is Interview #23 with SCP-8757-A.

Interviewed: SCP-8757-A

Interviewer: Agent Itō

Foreword: SCP-8757-A's mustache at the time was connected at a short length to a low part of a wall. Due to this, the SCP-8757-B body was forced to bend at a 90 degree angle for the duration of the interview.

<Begin Log>

Agent Itō: Okay, ready?

SCP-8757-A: Yes.

Agent Itō: Alright. To continue off from last time, what are your thoughts on masculinity?

SCP-8757-A: Uhhh. Hm… I guess it helps you appear more… male? I don't know, I don't really think about it often. I don't consider myself a very, uh, masculine person. It's not really important to me.

Agent Itō: …Noted. What do you consider important to you?

SCP-8757-A: Oh gosh, uh… friends, I guess? Being there for each other. They're typically what I like to focus on.

Agent Itō: And you're talking about the other Tiny Señors, correct?

SCP-8757-A: Yep.

Agent Itō: What's your relationship with Señor Senorita?

SCP-8757-A: Oh, she's… my best friend. …Or, at least… No, no no yeah, she is my best friend.

Agent Itō: …Why're you hesitant?

SCP-8757-A: Cause I mean… well, you don't know how- uh. (Pause). You don't always fully know, how someone feels about you. But- but I am confident she also thinks of me as her friend.

Agent Itō: Well, that's good to hear. Okay, uh… Lemme look at the list real quick. What is your experience when detached from your body?

SCP-8757-A: It's like a dream, kind of. Or how I imagine dreams are. Sometimes it's like a mix of memories and thoughts, or other times there's no thoughts at all. It's kinda nice.

Agent Itō: Do you think your body experiences a similar thing?

SCP-8757-A: Hm?

Agent Itō: When it's attached to your head. I guess I should've asked first: do you think your body, when it's running around, is self-aware?

SCP-8757-A: I mean… it's just a body, right? Like, I'm the head. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who thinks… Uh, does my body, look like its self-aware? Or act like it?

Agent Itō: I couldn't tell ya, buddy. I'm not assigned to this project; I'm just filling in for my friend who's in the ER.

SCP-8757-A: Ah, that's rough.

Agent Itō: Now, do you have any memories of your creator: Professor Funtastic?

SCP-8757-A: Well, there—

(SCP-8757-A's mustache pulls it into the wall)

SCP-8757-A: (Muffled).

(SCP-8757-A is disconnected from SCP-8757-B)

Agent Itō: Goddamnit.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: Due to the frequent difficulty in locating SCP-8757-A, avoiding attacks from SCP-8757-B, and attempting to attach both sub-anomalies all at the same time, it was decided that they would be observed at a distance by remote drones instead.

Observation Logs

29/05/2020: SCP-8757-B approaches the race track. It stands still, facing the track for approximately four minutes before hopping the fence and running along the track. After the stock car passes SCP-8757-B multiple times, the sub-anomaly begins to increase in speed, overtaking the car. SCP-8757-B continues to pass the stock car for fourteen minutes, until suddenly stopping in front of it, causing the car to crash; SCP-8757-B remains undamaged. The sub-anomaly turns to face the inanimate audience. After ten minutes, SCP-8757-B runs through the benches, destroying them and breaking multiple mannequins.

17/07/2020: SCP-8757-A is seen sticking out from the floor, upside down. SCP-8757-B walks down the tunnel, bending over and pecking the ground with its neck stump, mimicking a chicken. It does this until touching SCP-8757-A, connecting the two.

<17:06>: Ugh… oh man. Why? What did I do?

<17:09>: Maybe if those guys come back I can ask for some help.

<17:13>: HELLO? IS ANYONE THERE?

<17:14>: Okay.

<17:24>: Maybe it's because I haven't been out in a while.

SCP-8757-A is sucked into the ground.

02/09/2020: SCP-8757-B walks into the construction site. The T-Rex animatronics perform motions indicating work. SCP-8757-B stands facing one animatronic for five minutes, before lifting up a nearby steel beam and placing it on the structure. The sub anomaly continues this, until scraping one of the animatronics with the steel beam as it turns. The animatronic emits a stock roar sound effect. SCP-8757-B drops the steel beam as it turns back around, which impacts the structure's support beams and causes it to collapse on itself.

All the T-Rex animatronics emit stock roars. SCP-8757-B emerges unharmed. An animatronic Stegosaurus, attached to a track conveyor in the ground, exits a manager's shack and roars in front of SCP-8757-B. The sub anomaly slaps the Stegosaurus's head off, pauses for three minutes, before throwing a steel beam at a T-Rex and running out of the area.

05/01/2021: SCP-8757-A is suspended in a room filled with large golden wristwatches. SCP-8757-B traverses through the room until its stump grazes SCP-8757-A, connecting the two.

<00:16>: Oh huh. None of these clock are right.

<00:17>: I wonder what everyone's (mumbling).

<00:20>: Hmm.

<00:21>: I'm sure she still likes me… I think.

<00:22>: People are busy.

<00:23>: (SCP-8757-A/B begins pacing around the room, keeping a firm grip on its head.)

<00:31>: What do I like to do?

SCP-8757-A's mustache pulls it off SCP-8757-B and into another room.

16/02/2021: SCP-8757-B walks back and forth along the shoreline of the beach, kicking up large plooms of sand. After sixteen minutes, a ripple is seen from the lake. SCP-8757-B ceases walking and faces the water. Three minutes later, an animate replica of a shark breached the surface briefly, before going back under. SCP-8757-B waits for two more minutes, before throwing clumps of sand into the water, aiming where the shark was.

This continues with no effect for two minutes. SCP-8757-B ceases throwing sand and begins walking along the shoreline. It finds a large, empty aluminum can, and throws it into the lake. As it stares at the can, the shark returns and hits the can back onto shore. SCP-8757-B runs to the can and kicks it back into the lake, followed by the shark hitting it back. This continues for twenty more minutes before the shark ceases participating. SCP-8757-B stays by the shoreline for ten more minutes, then swiftly leaves the room.

18/02/2021: SCP-8757-B traverses a tunnel, collecting random items lodged in the walls. SCP-8757-A lays on the ground, face down. SCP-8757-B slips on a toy tank and falls backwards, connecting to the other sub-anomaly.

<07:34>: (Muffled).

<07:35>: (Sits upright). Oh.

<07:48>: She gave me a weird look, yeah… Yeah…

<07:49>: (Mumbling).

SCP-8757-B removes SCP-8757-A and leaves.

21/02/2021: After three days of walking through SCP-8757 nonstop, SCP-8757-B locates the beach. In its arms are various objects, which it dumps on the shoreline. It throws a teddy bear with the face of actor Arnold Schwarzenegger into the water. The object sinks. It throws a jack-in-the-box with fake submachine guns on the puppet's arms into the water. The object sinks. It holds up a clump of toy soldiers and throws it, spreading across the air before hitting the water.

The shark briefly grazes the surface. SCP-8757-B begins slapping the edge of the water; the shark approaches the sub-anomaly, but retreats upon reaching shallow water. In response, SCP-8757-B starts digging a channel into the beach, wide enough to accommodate the shark. It swims through the channel while SCP-8757-B continues to dig; the sub-anomaly loops the channel back into the main waterbody.

The shark exits the channel, then proceeds back up it. SCP-8757-B throws its toys at the shark, which responds by throwing them back. This continues for thirty more minutes before the shark returns to the lake and does not resurface. SCP-8757-B waits for three hours and seventeen minutes before leaving.

22/02/2021 - 02/03/2021: SCP-8757-B exhibited lethargy and general lack of movement during this period. During periods of movement, SCP-8757-B would walk aimlessly; at three points during these eight days, it would locate the beach and splash at the water. After the shark failed to appear, SCP-8757-B would return to its wandering.

On 02/03/2021, the sub-anomaly finds SCP-8757-A near a large fork and places it on its neck.

<11:58>: (Sighing).

<12:17>: Is it because… I'm broken?

<12:18>: I think so.

<12:20>: Yeah, they'd seek me out if they liked me. (Pause) I'm just the guy who shows up.

<12:21>: She probably hate—

SCP-8757-A is pulled into the wall by its mustache.

03/03/2021: While approaching the beach, SCP-8757-B notices the teddy bear it previously threw in is now on the shore. As it picks it up, the shark grazes the surface. SCP-8757-B sticks its arm in the water and rotates. This attracts the shark; SCP-8757-B removes its arm as the animal breaks the surface. The shark returns below the water. SCP-8757-B throws the teddy bear into the lake. No response for three minutes.

SCP-8757-B moves to expand the canal, increasing its size until it becomes a sizable pool. The sub-anomaly stands in the chest high water as the shark enters. As it approaches, SCP-8757-B reaches out its arm to touch the animal's nose; the shark engulfs the arm and bites down on its bicep.

SCP-8757-B does not move for 48 seconds. It reaches up to the shark and pushes at its mouth. It pushes with more visible force, then attempts to pry the mouth from its arm. SCP-8757-B's movements become more panicked as it pulls on the shark; it grabs at the rim of the pool, but the sand collapses under its hand and it falls back into the water. It thrashes in the pool, impairing visibility. Sounds of slapping are heard, followed by thumping, followed by a singular crunch.

Visibility is restored, showing SCP-8757-B sitting in the pool, with the shark floating motionless next to it. Puncture marks are visible on the sub-anomaly's arm. SCP-8757-B exits the pool and leaves the beach.

05/03/2021: SCP-8757-B spends four hours destroying all the items in a tunnel and adjacent room. Afterwards, the sub-anomaly takes a more lethargic stature, slumping down along the wall. SCP-8757-A descends from the ceiling. SCP-8757-B gets up and places the head on its neck.

<08:56>: (Surveying the room). Oh. (Looking down at SCP-8757-B and the damage to its arm. It reaches to touch it, but stops). Yeah, I get it.

<08:57>: (Sits down). Don't worry, we'll take shifts.

The mustache pulls SCP-8757-A/B into another room. The connection between the two sub-anomalies remained firm, until around 12 hours later when they were forcibly separated due to the topography.

Addendum: As of writing, SCP-8757-B has developed a cycle of higher than average aggression to its surroundings, followed by periods of lethargy, followed by attaching itself to SCP-8757-A. Additionally, it has been witnessed tearing and deepening the damage to its arm. It has not returned to the beach. Observation is ongoing.