Eleven personnel and one deity are in attendance.
Item #: SCP-9866
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Entity poses no potential disruption due to its seclusivity outside of Foundation interaction. Its management is under the purview of viral hazard research Site-3J. No precautions necessary.
Description: SCP-9866 is a minor deity intrinsic to indigenous folklore of an isolated sub-alpine forest region within the Rila-Rhodope massif. While formerly integrated into the micro-culture of the region, public awareness of SCP-9866 has since faded into obscurity. It has accepted this status quo and expressed satisfaction with it.
Site-3J was established to leverage the isolated environment and permit long-term research into viral hazards and monitor SCP-9866 concurrently. On-site personnel are subject to extended deployment periods as a quarantine precaution.
Addendum 01: During the multi-year deployment cycle, an initiative was proposed by SCP-9866. The activity involved the targeted rolling of stones, a concept closely mirroring traditional lawn bowling; its formalized rules were introduced to the entity by staff, which it found amusing and approved.
Presently, five personnel participate in recurring games as a leisure pastime during their isolation contracts. Due to the cohort's size, matches are played in a two-versus-three fashion. SCP-9866 rarely participates and prefers to spectate while offering verbal commentary.
Some abridged game records provided below. For a full list, contact Dr. Svyatoslav Vance.
Date
Team A
Team B
Final Score
10/14
Researcher Rush, Dr. Vance
Dr. Marinov, Dr. Kim, Researcher Ivanov
21 — 16
10/21
Dr. Kim, Researcher Ivanov
Researcher Rush, Dr. Vance, Dr. Marinov
14 — 18
11/04
Dr. Kim, Dr. Vance
Dr. Marinov, Researcher Rush, Researcher Ivanov
11 — 17
Researcher Rush is currently attempting to persuade Dr. Henderson from the virology lab to participate with them, and equalize the roster. Dr. Henderson has displayed interest after her persistence, but remains hesitant.
Addendum 02: Dr. Henderson finally agreed to participate in the weekly matches.
Well, we finally got Miles out of that gosh darned lab. But now we got a different problem. Turns out keeping two hyper-competitive type-A personalities stuck here for a year creates a very special kind of powder keg.
It's completely broken the vibe—in the most exhausting fashion possible. Put Krush and him against each other and its a bloodbath. Miles is a perfectionist, and with his cultures stalling he just needs something in his life to go right. On the other hand, Krush plays like she's trying to personally offend the fella. The second Miles lands a beautiful, textbook shot right next to the jack, she comes in with a heavy firing shot and completely rockets his bowl into the gravel ditch. And then she just beams at his face and asks if he wants to "recalculate" his shot. Drives the guy mad.
You'd think putting them on the same team ought to give the rest of us a break, but it's actually worse. Oh no, no, no. They don't cooperate at all; they just try to out-murder all of us. It's terrible! Now they just try to one-up each other's darn trick shots. We're just brutalized. We lost 21 to 4 on Tuesday.
Oh yeah, Gorun, that cheeky—eugh. He loves it of course, why wouldn't he? Hasn't sat still all week. Laughs like a hyena every time she taunts the guy, or every time he loses his patience with her. Gorun told Vance once that watching the "mold-doctor and the fire-girl" bickering was more entertaining than some wine festivals he's attended in the past.
I swear we're splitting them up next week, or I promise you I'm going to throw this contract out and just walk all the way back to Sofia.
My nerves weren't built to handle this.
~ Dr. Evangeline Kim
Addendum 03: Per the multi-year, non-departure clause of their employment contracts, Dr. Miles Henderson and Researcher Kaylee Rush requested administrative approval to solemnize their relationship on-site. It was approved without complication.
In attendance are all eleven personnel from Site-3J, and SCP-9866.
Dr. Kim (acting officiant): …by the authority given to me by the Department of Human Resources, and since we don't have a priest or a judge within a hundred miles of these mountains—
Dr. Vance: Louder Eva! The wind's picking up!
Dr. Kim: I am trying! As I was saying, if anyone objects to this union, speak now or—
The treeline, a short distance away, rustles and SCP-9866 steps through the perimeter.
Dr. Kim: —or apparently, the local deity finally arrives.
Dr Vance: Ha! Eva look. Son of a bitch actually wore it.
SCP-9866 approaches the gathering. It has changed its usual unkempt, loam-and-bark appearance. Its beard is meticulously braided with dried mountain-lavender, and it is wearing a camel brown three-piece suit that was provided to it by staff the previous evening. The fabric looks strained across the entity's broad frame; it is perfectly clean.
It speaks; the grass vibrates.
SCP-9866: A grand gathering of eleven small minds. The meticulous mold-doctor cleans his glasses. The ephemeral fire-lady dons white. It is a wonderful day for a contract.
Dr. Kim: It's a marriage, Gorun.
SCP-9866: A contract of the heart is still a contract, little Evangeline. Yet, you have no holy man to bind it.
It smiles. The wind starts rushing.
SCP-9866: The mountains will do it instead.
SCP-9866 steps forward. It raises its calloused hands over the couple. It chants in an old-tongue. A wave of pale green light ripples out from under its palm. The grass beneath the couple bursts into an out of season bloom of wild alpine roses and white snowdrops. A warmth sweeps across the lawn, washing away the autumn chill. Faint hums echo through the mountains.
SCP-9866: May your roots grow deep beneath the stone. May your fire never crack the hearth.
It steps back and whistles a three-note cadence. From the forest, local wildlife emerge onto the lawn. Approximately forty wood-pigeons, a dozen red deer, several pairs of Balkan chamois, and a single white stallion settle quietly amongst the crowd. All observe the ceremony.
Dr. Vance whispers.
Dr. Vance: This is getting ridiculously theatrical, Eva.
Dr. Kim: Shut up, Vance. I'm trying to finish.
Dr. Kim clears her throat.
Dr. Kim: By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss.
They embrace.
Applause from all other nine staff members.
The stallion approaches the couple, still locked together.
SCP-9866: This is a gift. Now go. Ride. Before the sun dies.
Following the reception, the rest of the wildlife disperses. SCP-9866 partakes in plum wine with all the attendees.
As dusk approaches, Dr. Henderson and Researcher Rush, still in their wedding attire, return to the lawn on horseback for a single, final game of lawn bowls. The match is played in total silence, for the first time in four years. The crowd watches from the facility terrace.
On the final throw of the game, both Miles and Kaylee deliver their bowls toward the jack.
Physical measurements taken by a highly amused Dr. Vance found the bowls to have rolled to a stop completely flush against each other. They rest directly against the jack, perfectly equidistant from the target.
It is a draw.
From the terrace, SCP-9866 raises its glass towards the couple, and gives a single, satisfied nod. The evening ends with a toast.