Entering a deep sleep. Please wait…
Oneiroi Hub / Foundation Collective Hub » SCP-9481
by MontagueETC & Billith
9
➤ Entering a deep sleep. Please wait…
➤ You have successfully connected to FC Local Area Noösphere.
You are in a dream.
FOUNDATION COLLECTIVE
- PERSISTENT CONSCIOUSNESS SUSTAINED -
- MESSAGE OF THE DAY -
"The pillow is always cooler on the other side."
CRAWLER: SCP BOT | QUERY: EGOCACHING | SEARCH: FC SUBNET
ADDITIONAL FILTERS
AND NOT: CACHE 4 GOLD | SECURITY CLEARANCE: LEVEL 5
ITEM: SCP-9481
LEVEL 1/9481
CLASS: eparch
confidential
An Oneiroi West egocacher, searching for an SCP-9481 instance in its own reflection.
Somnial Containment Procedures: Observational sleepers embedded in external collectives are to covertly proliferate the idea that oneiric geocaching (colloquially known as "egocaching") is dangerous, embarrassing, or otherwise unpleasant. Superliminal micromemes to this effect have been seeded in various forms of popular dream-based entertainment, including Teeth Falling Out, Didn't Study For A Test, Scary Ways To Die, Naked In Public, and Iron Chef.
In the event that egocaching's popularity continues to increase, the governing bodies of Sweeter Dreams Inc., Oneiroi West, and the ☽☽☽ Collective have agreed to place immigration restrictions on SCP-9481-related travel.
Description: SCP-9481 is an immobile accumulation of discarded thought-stuff known as an "egocache." Though SCP-9481 instances do not appear to possess any abnormal qualities, the increasing prevalence of oneiric geocaching has made them a subject of interest.
Last Edited 18 May 2026 12:58 (OWST) by esotericErrata
VIEW EDITSHISTORYCOMMENTS
peaksm1th - IT Department - Hayes, Kansas
Has anyone else heard of this egocaching thing?
I found out about it a few nights ago, when I was looking for a geocache in a giant McDonalds playplace. In case you don't know what geocaching is, it's sort of a treasure hunt game. You take a portable GPS, a set of coordinates, and maybe some clues, and you use them to seek out a hidden box or capsule or whatever. Geocaching has been a waking hobby of mine for years, so it was only a matter of time that I'd start dreaming about it.
It wasn't easy getting to the cache, since the playplace was like 3 miles tall and I kept having to fight off these giant wasps that wanted me to read their mediocre poetry (long story), but I eventually found it in an upside-down planetarium on the lowest level. When I opened it up to write my name in the logbook, I found a hyperlink to a… website? Smart phone app? Shared delusion? I'm still not sure what we call these things, but suffice to say it turns out there's an underground community of people hiding and hunting down "egocaches" in our dreams. It's wild.
Upvote Reply +3,041 - 18 May 2026 12:58
Drone 07952801 - Origami Hive
OP skipped over that "long story" to make herself look better. Did you ever consider that they just wanted to help you feel something, you fucking philistine?
Upvote Reply +3,827,492,385,720 - 18 May 2026 12:58
Monsignor Coustou
I've never gotten into it, but my cousin is crazy about egocaching. Direct navigation is never easy in somnial space, so they're always getting lost, it's a massive pain. The other night I had to help drag them out of someone's fever dream. My robes still taste like phlegm and anxiety.
Upvote Reply +231 - 18 May 2026 12:58
Jane Smith - Asteroid Field - Andromeda Cluster
arent u a boulder? how do u have a cousin
Upvote Reply +5 - 18 May 2026 12:58
SIX SWORDS REPEATING CLOCKWISE - sent from my iPhone
STFU biocentrist
Upvote Reply +11 - 18 May 2026 12:58
Show 12 more replies in this thread
Gizzard_wizard
The best part of egocaching is figuring out how to get from point A to point B. One time I was stuck in an endless clown egg museum for 6 months looking for the egg that most resembled my cocker spaniel's sense of ennui.
Upvote Reply +186 - 18 May 2026 12:58
Monsignor Coustou
That is FUN to you?
Upvote Reply +42 - 18 May 2026 12:58
Gizzard_wizard
Hell yeah brother, I fucking love clowns.
Upvote Reply +33 - 18 May 2026 12:58
Captain Finger - Your Dad's House
where's the link op???
Upvote Reply +117 - 18 May 2026 12:58
peaksm1th - IT Department - Hayes, Kansas
My bad, totally forgot to include the link in my original post! Enjoy!
Upvote Reply +290 - 18 May 2026 12:58
➤ Initializing virtual pineal network…
➤ Scanning for neuroviruses and brainworms…
➤ Connecting to REM server…
➤ You have successfully connected to egocaching.soma
EGOCACHING
for dreamers…
Map
Caches
Travelers
Log a Find
caches you can only find after you fall asleep.
a community of lucid dreamers, exploring the depths of the oneirosphere
3,184active caches
11,907witnessed finds
284lucid explorers
Featured Waypoint
opened by u/citizensleep · 14 finds
Ξ038581
◇ Liminal
Active tonight
Caelum
Vulpecula
Ophiuchus
gold: entry
pink: hint
tan: the spot
Fallen Star
N 04°·R8M E 12°·δ-θ · floor: ground
Difficulty
★★★★★
Coherence
★★★★★
Size
Large
Duration
Brief
The memory of a village that never existed. Luminous signals ripple through stone and sky alike, so be cautious when ingesting new ideas, especially those that come in fives.
cache hint
Look for the table of contents. Where there's fire, there's smoke.
14 witnesses
3 waypoints
♥ 4.8 · 47 favorites
Updating cache list
checking for new egocaches, notes, user discussions …
Egocaches Near You
displaying most recent first.
MEM
Glass Rabbit
Λ603293 · twitching shards · dancing in triduplicate · posted by u/citizensleep · fresh!
Tonight2 hr ago
Easy
LIM
Silvered Reverberation
Π404848 · 2% milk · echo of an echo of an echo of an · posted by u/ser_404
Last updated1w ago
Med
LIM
Eschatology Cousin
Φ178215 · screaming · bring your floaties · posted by u/citizensleep · unsolved!
Last updated11d ago
Hard
WORLD NEWS
SOCIETY · Posted on 18 May 2026 12:58
Lost City Found!
Atlantis rediscovered by intrepid egocacher.
A relay to the city of Atlantis has been found in a cleft of spacetime between the Whispering Grove and the local Waffle House. Its discoverer, a horse-sized duck and amateur egocacher known as Crispen Thorn, claims to have done so by accident.
"I wasn't even looking for it," said Thorn to reporters. "Someone put an egocache in my backyard and I keep getting turned around trying to get to it." Thorn paused meaningfully, pensively looking away towards the horizon, before adding, "Wait a second. Through my backdoor! I don't know why I didn't think of that route sooner." Thorn proceeded to transform into a large group of duck-sized horses and trotted away.
The city of Atlantis previously disappeared during the 3.5th Panoceanic Dream War, a two-kalpa (kelpa?) conflict between Oneiroi Sea and the Somnial Pugilism Collective. When asked for comment, a representative of Oneiroi Sea said, "Atlantis is always getting lost, so it was bound to be found again sooner or later. I always assumed it was between some underwater couch cushions, or tangled up in a net somewhere."
Though they haven't answered any of our calls, Somnial Pugilism Collective's spokesperson recently posted to their MySpace, "Felt cute, might delete later. Excited for the next dreem [sic] war!!!"
Dr. Fish @aqueousArcheologist
@WorldNews I spend millenia looking for the lost city, and it's found by some random horsebird? By accident? What the hell???
- 471
- 5,826
18 May 2026 12:58
COMMISSIONS OPEN!! @Kickpuncher69
@aqueousArcheologist idk what to tell you girl the geocache community is something else. when my friend lost his marbles one of em found them under a stump
- 19
- 67
18 May 2026 12:58
Dr. Fish @aqueousArcheologist
@Kickpuncher69 Your friend who was in the mental hospital?
- 5
- 49
18 May 2026 12:58
COMMISSIONS OPEN!! @Kickpuncher69
@aqueousArcheologist yea. theyre real fuckin good at looking for stuff when theyre not
- 7
- 33
18 May 2026 12:58
Tarantula City @exkavatore
@WorldNews I could've sworn Atlantis was in Arizona wtf
- 2,098
- 7,571
18 May 2026 12:58
Dr. Fish @aqueousArcheologist
@exkavatore You're thinking of the Atlantis in meatspace. The place we're discussing is the idea of the lost city within collective consciousness.
- 385
- 5,455
18 May 2026 12:58
Tarantula City @exkavatore
@aqueousArcheologist If it's the idea of a lost city, wouldn't that make it undiscoverable? It's not lost anymore if you find it
- 10
- 1,242
18 May 2026 12:58
Dr. Fish @aqueousArcheologist
@exkavatore You're right, and I can't make sense of it. It's really fucking vexing.
- 5
- 60
18 May 2026 12:58
COMMISSIONS OPEN!! @Kickpuncher69
@aqueousArcheologist hold on if atlantis isnt findable why were you looking for it? is it because you have a crush on the scary blonde lady from the disney movie
- 44
- 301
18 May 2026 12:58
Dr. Fish @aqueousArcheologist
@Kickpuncher69 I'm going to block you now.
- 6
- 72
18 May 2026 12:58
Tarantula City @exkavatore
@aqueousArcheologist @Kickpuncher69 LMAO CAUGHT IN 4K
- 15
- 245
18 May 2026 12:58
Just Girly Things @JGT-Oneiroi
10 Easy Ways To Scrub Your Synapses! You Won't Believe Number 6! justgirlythin...
- 324,905,702
- 93,253,209,572
18 May 2026 12:58
EGOCACHING
for dreamers…
Map
Caches
Travelers
Log a Find
caches you can only find after you fall asleep.
a community of lucid dreamers, exploring the depths of the oneirosphere
206,381active caches
3,146,767witnessed finds
92,265lucid explorers
Featured Waypoint
opened by u/handlinger · 999 finds
Δ569074
◇ Stable
Active tonight
Vestibule
Attic
Corridor
gold: entry
pink: hint
tan: bingo
Remnant Marker
N 04°·R8M E 12°·δ-θ · floor: underground
Difficulty
★★★★★
Coherence
★★★★★
Size
Vast
Duration
Long
A house without rooms. A house without rooms. A house without rooms. A house without rooms. Haven't you been here before?
cache hint
Smile for the picture. What color is that, exactly?
1,723 witnesses
3 waypoints
♥ 2.3 · 109 favorites
Program: Dead Air for the Newborn Lucid
Station: WREM δ.88 (Delta wavelength)
Host: June Static
Guest: Unknown
Topic: Egocaching
✹ BEGIN RECALL ✹
Static: Good evening, good morning, and good luck to everyone still trying to wake up. You’re listening to Dead Air for the Newborn Lucid, the only radio program that caters to our freshly awakened dreamers, and to you (yes, you, specifically). I’m the illustrious June Static, and tonight I am joined by the alleged creator of egocaching.soma.
Guest: Alleged by whom?
Static: By egocachers, primarily.
Guest: You shouldn't believe everything you read online. Or, anything you read online, these days.
Static: Too true. So, do you deny these allegations? The first listed cache is under one of your known aliases…
Guest: No. I’m just not agreeing with them, either. Does it really matter?
Static: When you’re talking about the single most popular dreamtime activity across the Lucidverse, it matters a heck of a lot!
Guest: Agree to disagree.
Static: What should we call you, by the way?
Guest: Oh, I never take calls anymore, no one should. Too dangerous.
Static: Fair enough! So, if you won’t tell us the “who” of egocaching’s creation, can you at least let our lovely listeners know if the website came first, or the sport? My sources are awfully uncertain on that front.
Guest: Dreams and dreamers, chickens and eggs. Does anything really come before anything else, June?
Static: Typically, yeah. Are you always this evasive?
Guest: Most people consider me to be very straightforward, actually. <Pause.> That was a joke.
Static: <Laughter.>
Guest: I’ll try to be more direct, in spite of my nature: the website was simply easier for people to notice.
Static: Easier than the sport?
Guest: Easier than the pressure.
Static: What pressure?
Guest: The pressure underneath awareness, created by truth as it boils to the surface.
Static: Direct, you said? One hell of a line to drop right before our first commercial break.
Guest: I said I’d try. And you did ask where it began.
Static: So, did egocaches start appearing with the website? Or were people already hiding these things before it was created?
Guest: People have always hidden things in dreams. Feelings. Names. Faces of dead parents. The missing sentences of conversations one is not brave enough to have.
Static: Indeed they have.
Guest: Dreams are still life, moments captured in effigy. A light switch that never works never leaves a room dark. A clock that insists it is still your birthday, or your sister's funeral, or last night, is those things, forever, and whether we like it or not.
Static: Reality doesn’t accept refunds.
Guest: And while the dream world is far more symbolic about how it portrays its truth, it is still truth. One just has to be able to read its language.
✹ END RECALL ✹
EGOCACHING
for dreamers…
Map
Caches
Travelers
Log a Find
caches you can only find after you fall asleep.
a community of lucid dreamers, exploring the depths of the oneirosphere
6.236e14
active caches
9.207e26witnessed finds
4.850e9lucid explorers
Featured Waypoint
opened by u/root_kid · 0 finds
Γ191597
◇ Eternal
Active today
You Are Here
pink: you
Geocache 01
N 04°·R8M E 12°·δ-θ · floor: N/A
Difficulty
★★★★★
Coherence
★★★★★
Size
N/A
Duration
N/A
Let's go in the garden.
cache hint
Sink your fingers into soil. There are strange resonations through the ground, and movement. Tree roots till up that which was dormant. Mud remembers itself. In the far places, where serpents sing and gods crawl, the deepest strata of human thought begin to reach for the sun.
What once was known, may be known again.
0 witnesses
1 waypoints
♥ 5.0 · 1 favorites
Updating sensory data
checking for new corporeal inputs …
Voices Near You
displaying most recent first.
WAKE
Good morning, dear. Did you sleep well?
ξ755876 · chatter of darting birds · sunlight peeking through blinds · posted by u/auditory_cortex · fresh!
Todaynow
Up