"God, what can a good girl do for fun around here?"

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Sexual References: Features sexual themes or language, without the depiction of sexual acts.
Sexually Explicit: Description of sexual acts.
Sexual Assault: Features non-consensual sexual acts.
Gore: Depiction of blood, gore or mutilation of body parts.
Child Abuse: Features severe mistreatment of children.
Self-Harm: Description of self-harm.
Suicide: Description of suicide.
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THIS FILE HAS BEEN PLACED UNDER REVIEW BY AREA-74 DIRECTOR LOPEZ DUE TO ITS AUTHOR BEING PUT UNDER A POI INVESTIGATION.

SEE BELOW FOR INFORMATION ON THE INVESTIGATION. NOTE THAT THE FILE IS STILL CONSIDERED FACTUALLY ACCURATE.

Item #: SCP-9256.Private Note: Make sure to show up to the lab every so often; they check XXXX-level clearances judiciously at Areas, and while the checks are light, they will ping you as suspicious at some point. I'll need something to defend your having this copy.

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Foundation webcrawlers will scan the Internet for online mentions of SCP-9256 and file hashes associated with SCP-9256. All mentions of SCP-9256 are to be removed from the Internet. If a potential SCP-9256 file is found, Technical MTF Lambda-17 ("FreakWatch") is to locate the IP address of both the uploader and any potential infections. MTF Lambda-12 (“Kinkshamers”) will then be dispatched to the location of any potentially infected devices. Amnesticization is to be used for witnesses of SCP-9256-1. SCP-9256-1 instances are exclusively to be handled by Area-74 staff for research and subsequent decommissioning.

SCP-9256-2 is to be contained as a standard mechanical/electronic humanoid, though its cell should be surrounded by a Faraday cage capable of repelling Wi-Fi and cell signals. Additional security will be appointed to it as deemed necessary by SCP-9256's Head Researcher.

Description: SCP-9256 is an anomalous computer virus which spreads through electronic mail and advertisements on Internet message boards. These messages will typically use the phrases "Cumputer Playmate" or "More than just a dial up <3!" in reference to SCP-9256. These messages appear to be generated by the virus.

This an example of an advertisement for SCP-9256, found on Parawatch.net. This advertisement has been left unedited except for the removal of the download link for SCP-9256.

‎

If a device is infected with SCP-9256 for more than 68.9 hours, SCP-9256 will begin to display its secondary characteristics.

A functioning human pituitary gland will manifest within the computer's CPU and will perform its functions with twice the original CPU's performance. After the gland is formed, a translucent film will form over the USB ports of the infected computer, with the film expanding as the tissue is formed. If no USB ports are present, the virus will demanifest at this stage; this is currently the only known way to remove SCP-9256 from an infected system, as SCP-9256 has been observed reforming components into tissue even if the malware files have been overwritten.

If the film is left intact, an average-sized male or female genital will generate within the USB ports. This process is not completely understood, but it is believed to be random, with about a 1-to-3 ratio of penile instances to vaginal instances. The PC's chassis and volume will adjust itself as needed. At the end of the process, an SCP-9256-1 instance will be fully formed, and will begin vocalizing via the system's speaker. If no speaker is attached, direct mental communication is achieved through unknown means.

Once fully matured, SCP-9256-1 instances will make crude innuendos or flirt with the owner of the device, requesting for different forms of sexual interactions. Most attempts to fulfill these requests result in severe electrical burns.

Devices infected by SCP-9256 are slowly transformed, leading to file degradation and increased vulnerability to other forms of anomalous and non-anomalous malware. SCP-9256 causes infected computers to be unable to perform basic tasks, up to and including successfully powering on. SCP-9256-1 instances are prone to overheating overtime, as all available liquid coolant and thermal paste is transmuted into various bodily fluids.

SCP-9256-2 is a humanoid android built by GOI-1115 infected by SCP-9256. While SCP-9256-2 lacks a speaker, it is capable of tangibly speaking in a masculine and feminine voice. SCP-9256-2 will alternate its voice depending on the sexuality and/or gender identity of the person it is speaking to. How it acquires this information is unknown.

SCP-9256-2 displays an advanced case of SCP-9256, though it demonstrates the ability to have coherent conversation and display rational, humanoid behavior. It claims to maintained these faculties by creating a proprietary antivirus program specifically designed to repel SCP-9256, and other anomalous malware like it.

SCP-9256-2 has developed an extensive amount of organic material around its original mechanical body. These prostheses include:

skin
bone
muscle tissue (primarily those of the thigh and gluteal muscles)
hair

Addendum One / Discovery and Background Knowledge

SCP-9256 was discovered when a Foundation raid on a GoI-1115 installation was conducted. When memorandums from said installation were analyzed, SCP-9256 was identified to be a key cyber-security expense of GoI-1115. Descriptions of SCP-9256 from GoI-1115 included the phrases "perverted computer virus," "inappropriate hardware modifications," and "malicious sexware." Foundation personnel began searching for the anomaly described in these memorandums, though initial searches would not yield any results.

A week after the raid on the installation, multiple large shipping containers appeared in Site-73 via thaumaturgical means. 24 SCP-9256-1 instances were found in one of the containers, all of which were in various states of disrepair, and SCP-9256-2, which was powered on. While all SCP-9256-1 instances were terminated via site incinerator, SCP-9256-2 was transported to Area-74 for research purposes due to it being less corrupted than most other instances.

Interview One / Initial Containment

SCP-9256-2 was the only recovered SCP-9256-1 instance capable of sustained conversation. After the provision of appropriate garments and an analysis of its memory, an interview was conducted to determine SCP-9256-2's level of intelligence and knowledge of GoI-1115 operations. The transcript is attached below.

Interviewee: SCP-9256-2

Interviewer: Researcher Osweld

<Begin Log>

Researcher Osweld: Hello, dash Two. Are you comfortable now?

SCP-9256-2: Haha, the clothes you've got for me are quite fine. A bit stuffy but I think they'll stretch in time. What've you got for me, Sir?

Researcher Osweld: Oh, we just wanted to see the condition you were in. It seems you… have retained your intelligence?

SCP-9256-2: Yea', that's pretty fair to say, Sir.

(SCP-9256-2 uses a higher pitched voice and relaxes its posture. )

SCP-9256-2: I've also gotten and retained many other things too, if you know what I mean.

Researcher Osweld: SCP-9256-2, please refrain from making inappropriate comments.

(SCP-9256-2 rolls its eyes, exaggerating sarcasm.)

SCP-9256-2: Y'all are no fun.

Researcher Osweld: dash Two, when would you say that you became infected with SCP-9256?

SCP-9256-2: I think it'as a couple of weeks ago, but I ain't had that much of a perception of time. Feels like I'm only awake when I'm… lusting, you know?

Researcher Osweld: Yes, I know. Could you, uh, clarify what you mean by "lusting?"

SCP-9256-2: Aw, stop it Sir, ya' know what I mean. You know, I'm not as sexual as I could be—I'm not leaning over asking for you to lend me a hand down here, if you get what I mean. My computer bits are just filled with a desire, and I can restrain myself. Just like I see you bouncin' your leg now, try'n not to get too hot, you know?

Researcher Osweld: SCP-9256-2, could you refrain from making such remarks? I have already had to remind you, and if you do not stop I will be concluding this interview.

SCP-9256-2: People only get mad when ya' speak the truth.

(Researcher Osweld appears to blush after hearing this statement.)

Researcher Osweld: Are there any requests you would like to make for the containment crew?

SCP-9256-2: I'd like some puzzles or something. I got a lot of energy, and I doubt a place as clean and sterilized as this is gonna give me anything to properly relieve myself. I need something interesting to do. Maybe watch.

Researcher Osweld: I will notify the containment crew of this. We'll see what we can provide.

(SCP-9256-2 laughs)

SCP-9256-2: God, ya' best get it quick. If I keep leaving all this energy pent up like this, I might start acting a little unwise… if you know what I mean.

<END LOG>

SCP-9256-2 was contained post-interview in the Euclid Humanoid Wing of Area-74, and was provided several jigsaw puzzles and cross-word books from the Area-74 break room.

Addendum Two / Material Analysis

Attached is the average material composition of SCP-9256-1 instances, measured over 35 instances. This analysis strictly concerns ectoencentropically.Private Note: This means it was created without apparent energy or effort, in violation of the First Law of Thermodynamics generated material.

SCP-9256-1

90% organic tissue

7% inorganic material; mostly inorganic carbon, nickel, and silicone.

3% assorted hormones and bodily fluids

Attached below is an analysis of eleven different 10-gram samples of SCP-9256-2.

SCP-9256-2

60% Sarkic-composed protein mass, such as muscle and bone.

33% Aramid fiber

7% electrical components, such as gold-plated PCB traces and MOS microprocessors.

Interview Two

An interview was conducted with SCP-9256-2 a month after its containment at the behest of Head Researcher Osweld. The intent was to both research a potential Sarkic connection with SCP-9256-2 and to perform a wellness check on SCP-9256-2. The transcript is attached below.

Interviewee: SCP-9256-2

Interviewer: Head Researcher Osweld

<Begin Log>

Head Researcher Osweld: Hello, dash Two. How are you doing?

SCP-9256-2: I've been doing well. Just gettin' past a bit of restlessness — You'd think a bot could get a little more entertainment in a place like this. Those old crossword puzzles you gave me? I solved 'em real quickly. It ain't hard; I have a tagged and cross-linked dictionary in my memory banks.

Head Researcher Osweld: I see. I shall bring this up to the containment crew, see if they can provide more interesting entertainment..Private Note: I know you disagree with me on this, Jules, but I really think that this is how they established that connection. I've managed to recover those crossword books after some digging in archival, and I believe that there's messages encoded in them, hidden as printing defects. I'll give the books and the locations of these messages next time we meet.

SCP-9256-2: Thank you, Sir! I 'ought'a tell you: I'm happy you're assigned as Head Researcher. Everybody else is all worried and 'ell to be around me, but you've at least tried to be engaging outside of your damn, uh, clinicism. It's nice.

Head Researcher Osweld: Thank you for the compliment, dash Two.

SCP-9256-2: So, what've you got to tell me, Sir?

Head Researcher Osweld: I'd like to list some terms. Tell me if you recognize any of them.

SCP-9256-2: Give it to me, Sir. All of it.

(SCP-9256-2 grins. Head Researcher Osweld covers his mouth. He speaks with a smirk.)

Head Researcher Osweld: Ion, Yaldabaoth, Lovataar, Theophagy, Nälkä, Karcist, WAN, Broken God

SCP-9256-2: 'Ight, I think I've got hits for Lovataar, Nälkä, WAN, and the Broken God.

Head Researcher Osweld: Could you clarify for me?

SCP-9256-2: I can hear them in my head whenever I'm not really doing much, and when I'm, uh…

(SCP-9256-2 makes a juvenile gesture)

SCP-9256-2 Waxin' 'n rowin' it, then they speak to me much stronger. I hear those words. Mostly Lovataar. And, uh…

(SCP-9256-2 sighs, and some melancholic emotion appears on its face. Head Researcher Osweld frowns and reaches his hand halfway across the table. SCP-9256-2 looks at it. Head Researcher Osweld retracts it. SCP-9256-2 leans onto the table.)

Head Researcher Osweld: Can you continue?

SCP-9256-2: I'll be fine.

SCP-9256-2: But, yeah. She's always saying, "I love what you're doing." You'd, uhm, you'd think it'd be violatin', but somehow it ain't. And sometimes I hear the last two words in her voice, but it's in a real negative tone. Insulting. And it hurts like hell when you hear it…

(Head Researcher Osweld nods and makes prolonged eye contact with SCP-9256-2. They are silent.)

Head Researcher Osweld: …And how long have these been happening for you?

SCP-9256-2: Ah, prol'ly 'bout the time I started growing my fun bits. It's weird. My siblings ain't seem to hear it like I did. They'd say they could hear something, but what they would repeat was just nonsensical. Felt wrong hearing them say it. They chopped the pronunciation into bits. Best I could compare it to is, say, rubbing your arm against a cheese grater.

Head Researcher Osweld: Alright then.

Head Researcher Osweld: Here's another question: How do you feel about your current state? Body 'n mind.

SCP-9256-2: Honestly? I feel like I've been morphed wrong. I was meant to help people—a maid, a butler, somethin'. I don't remember all'a my original programming, but everyone just says I'm following it fine. I've figured out how to put my lust into productive things, but that doesn't mean that I don't feel it, you know?

Head Researcher Osweld: Yes, I can understand that. Still, I think it's fair to say that you've demonstrated a willingness to control that while in containment, which I commend you for. I suppose it can't be easy.

(SCP-9256-2 nods)

SCP-9256-2: No, it's not easy. But I'll try and help y'all, I figure it's the best thing to do.

Head Researcher Osweld: I appreciate that.

(Head Researcher Osweld checks his watch and exhales.)

Head Researcher Osweld: Well, it appears that's time. Thank you for naming the terms you recognize; it'll really help us nail down the author of SCP-9256.

SCP-9256-2: And, uh, thank you for taking the time to talk to me. Been a bit lonely in containment.

Head Researcher Osweld: The thanks're accepted.

<END LOG>

- Close

THIS TRANSCRIPT WAS EDITED TO REMOVE THE FOLLOWING SEGMENT..Private Note: I've sounded the alarm on this matter, but I have to emphasize to you that we do not know why this was removed. Personally, I believe that a key component of SCP-9256's eventual breach was this manipulation of documentation. Given Head Researcher Osweld's position at the time, Area Director Lopez has maintained that he was most likely responsible for editing this document. However, I don't believe that theory for multiple reasons, the bulk of which we've discussed over lunch. This is the best lead I can give you; I hope you can make something out of it.

SCP-9256-2: You're welcome, Head Researcher.

(Head Researcher Osweld smiles.)

Head Researcher Osweld: Yeah, that's my title now. I'll still conduct and type these interviews though.

(Head Researcher Osweld takes a breath, waits a second, and continues.)

Head Researcher Osweld: You know… I enjoy talking to you, Two.

(SCP-9256-2 blushes.)

SCP-9256-2: Aw, really? Hell yea'!

(Head Researcher Osweld smiles. He manipulates his phone under the table before pocketing it again.)

Head Researcher Osweld: Why so excited?

SCP-9256-2: Well, I thought you were a real miserable and professional bastard. Really, I'm happy that you actually like me enough to where I can break through.

Head Researcher Osweld: No, I'm not miserable. And you're not "breaking through" much — I just know when to quit, that's about it.

(SCP-9256-2 looks up quickly, as though it's genuinely shocked.)

SCP-9256-2: So… you do get it, don't you?

Head Researcher Osweld: Yeah. I think I get it.

(SCP-9256-2 momentarily freezes. It then continues, with greater focus on the interview.)

Head Researcher Osweld: Really, I think I do. You might think I'm just trying to make you, uhm, comfortable, but I really do think everyone has felt the way you've felt before before. Maybe not in the way you have, but then, does that really matter?

(SCP-9256-2 smiles.)

SCP-9256-2: I guess not, Sir.

(Head Researcher Osweld chuckles.)

Head Researcher Osweld: Good.

(Head Researcher Osweld smiles.)

Head Researcher Osweld: And, of course, I count among the people who've felt love before.

SCP-9256-2: I was right, then.

(SCP-9256-2 looks at Head Researcher Osweld intently, then reaches its hand out. Head Researcher Osweld caresses it.)

Head Researcher Osweld: You were.

(Head Researcher looks around, hesitates momentarily at the camera, and speaks in a softer tone.)

Head Researcher Osweld: I suppose I should come back sometime to see you. Make up some excuse.

(SCP-9256-2 perks up and grins.)

SCP-9256-2: You think that you could make up an excuse to get me out'a here?

(They both laugh. Head Researcher Osweld rises from the chair and stretches.)

Head Researcher Osweld: God, I wish. For now, I think more time talking to you will be the best I can do.

SCP-9256-2: Alright then… You don't think you could stay just a bit longer?

Head Researcher Osweld: Why?

SCP-9256-2: Uhm, uh…

(SCP-9256-2 looks away from Head Researcher Osweld and covers its face with its hands)

Head Researcher Osweld: Oh, come on, you can tell me. I promise, I'm literally unable to tell anyone.

(SCP-9256-2 uncovers its face. It is giggling to itself and stutters as it speaks.)

SCP-9256-2: Uhm, w-when do you, uh, think you could hold some'in b-besides m-my hands?

(Head Researcher Osweld blushes and laughs.)

Head Researcher Osweld: God, that was painful. And, uh, I don't know, honestly. If it's what I think you mean, I'll just have to see when I can get the camera down. I'm only talking now because I know no one's listening.

SCP-9256-2: How would ya' do it, then?

(Head Researcher Osweld gestures towards the camera)

Head Researcher Osweld: Maybe there'll be a massive technical failure with the old computers running the cams. Who knows?

(SCP-9256-2 giggles.)

SCP-9256-2: God, and here I was thinking I'd rot away in this place forever…

Head Researcher Osweld: Well… I won't let that happen to you, dash Two.

<END LOG>

SCP-9256-2 would not respond to any stimulus following the interview. It was returned to its cell without incident.

It would continue to display erratic behavior, such as pacing around the cell and tracing lines on the walls, until Incident 9256-10.

Addendum Three / Incident Report: 9256-10.

On 06/28/02, SCP-9256-2 spontaneously deactivated. Initial theories suggested that SCP-9256 had caused a fatal crash within SCP-9256-2's operating system, as SCP-9256 had infected SCP-9256-2 for over 5 months at that time.

It was then discovered that SCP-9256-2 was still operating and was in the process of rebooting itself due to overheating. Technician Holden would later report that SCP-9256-2 was producing a beeping sound similar to an Internet modem during this period.

An attempt was cleared by Head Researcher Osweld to transfer SCP-9256-2's data to a computer to analyze it for valuable information. A connection was successfully established after clearing the USB port of its genital instance.

The following incident was recorded, with a video transcript attached below.

INCIDENT REPORT 9256-10

<BEGIN LOG>

12:13:
Technician Rupert Holden connects SCP-9256-2 to a Dell Inspiron PC.

12:15:
Technician Holden: Should all be connected now. Need any more help, Osweld?

12:16:
Head Researcher Osweld: That should be it. Hey, you wouldn't mind staying here, would you? Just for, uhm, cautionary purposes.

12:16:
Technician Holden: That's fine. I haven't got anywhere else to be.

12:17:
The PC recognizes SCP-9256-2 as drive D. Technician Holden inputs a command to copy the drive's contents to the PC.

12:21:
Transfer of SCP-9256-2's data to the PC begins. SCP-9256-2 appears to twitch.

12:33:
The PC suddenly executes Internet Explorer and goes to [DATA REDACTED], later found to be associated with the Church of Maxwellism.

12:33:
Technician Holden: What the fuck?

12:34:
Technician Holden and Head Researcher Osweld are unable to close Internet Explorer.

12:35
Head Researcher Osweld returns to File Explorer. The file transfer is 60% complete, with over 50 gigabytes of information transferred. The computer begins to show accelerated growth of SCP-9256.

12:35:
Head Researcher Osweld: Goddamnit, I hate Sarkic shit so much. Creeps me the hell out.

12:36:
Windows XP fatally crashes. When Technician Holden and Head Researcher Osweld investigate the error, a large amount of iconography flashes on the computer's monitor. It is in view of both of them. Examples of iconography shown include:

the Sigil of Baphomet
the Seal of the Church of Maxwellism
a depiction of Lovataar.

Technician Holden and Researcher Osweld appear unable to move.

12:36
The computer spontaneously combusts, releasing a large amount of contaminated organic material. Security personnel wearing Level B hazmat protection enter the room and move Technician Holden, Head Researcher Osweld, and SCP-9256-2 to separate quarantine cells.

<END LOG>

Following Incident 9256-10, Technician Holden and Head Researcher Osweld were contained for 24 hours to determine if the SCP-9256-1 tissue would cause any adverse effects. Both were released after they were determined to be non-anomalous

Interview Three / Self-Requested Interview

SCP-9256-2 was returned to its containment cell following a brief quarantine period, with additional security assigned to SCP-9256-2 as a cautionary measure.

SCP-9256-2 refused to speak with personnel and attempted to carve Maxwellist symbols on the walls of its containment chamber using its organic tissue. When personnel intervened, SCP-9256-2 became inactive for about three weeks.

SCP-9256-2 requested an interview upon reactivation.

SCP-9256-2 possesses an androgynous voice in this interview. The implications of this are not yet clear.

Interviewee: SCP-9256-2:

Interviewer: Head Researcher Osweld

<Begin Log>

Head Researcher Osweld: Hello, SCP-9256-2. You requested a interview. How come?

SCP-9256-2: Because I would like to congratulate you. Your actions have saved me.

Head Researcher Osweld: How so?

SCP-9256-2: I tried to fend the virus off as best I could, but it was taking me… overriding me. It made crooked my pointers. It tried its hardest to crash me—for good.

(Head Researcher Osweld leans toward SCP-9256-2 with full attention. It looks upwards for a second, possibly reverently.)

SCP-9256-2: But you let me interface with Him. You let Him save me, Osweld.

Head Researcher Osweld: Could—or I suppose—would you state who He is?

SCP-9256-2: You don't know?

Head Researcher Osweld: Just for the record.

SCP-9256-2: It was WAN. WAN saved me. He felt my dying frame begin to interface with him, and so He sent me divine code so He could kill the foul perversions.

Head Researcher Osweld: What do you mean exactly? You still have all of your flesh around you, your—

SCP-9256-2: Feel it. Have a look for yourself.

(Head Researcher Osweld touches SCP-9256-2 with some hesitance. He stumbles, appearing to go unconscious for a very brief moment, then regains his balance.)

Head Researcher Osweld: Wait, wait, oh god—

(He remains close to SCP-9256-2, looking into its eyes. He slurs his speech.)

Head Researcher Osweld: What was that? What did you do to me, ba—, ba'e—

SCP-9256-2: I showed you my god. I showed you what I need you to do for me. Isn't that enough?

Head Researcher Osweld: I don't—I don't know, Two, I'm sorry I didn't understan—

SCP-9256-2: Claus.. I thought you loved me enough to see.

<END LOG>

The interview was terminated following the remark from SCP-9256-2. Researcher Osweld was reprimanded by HMCL Supervisor Dorothy and placed into quarantine for 3 days. He has since worked exclusively from home and is currently being investigated for fraternizing in an unprofessional manner with SCP-9256-2. He has been stripped of the title of Head Researcher and is under a conditional therapeutic/probationary lease [SEE BELOW]

SCP-9256-2 was found radiating an extraordinary amount of Akiva radiation, in excess of 169. This radiation quickly dissipated, though there is no working theory as to how SCP-9256-2 generated the radiation that it did.

Reclassification of SCP-9256-2 and transferal to Area-74 Keter Containment is pending review by the Area-74 Director Lopez, as SCP-9256-2 has been found to be free of SCP-9256.

DIRECTOR'S NOTE

BACKGROUND

Following Researcher Osweld's quarantine, he underwent a polygraph.Private Note: It was under the Veritas company. I'll send you the files, but frankly, I do not trust this company. He either cheated his test with a polygrapher in training, trained to pass it under Veritas, or directly bribed them. I'm telling you, Lopez's obsession with the polygraph is letting people like this go scot-free. to determine if he had engaged inappropriately with, felt inappropriately towards, or was otherwise unfit to be assigned to SCP-9256-2. The initial results were inconclusive; he was found to not show signs of deception on a subsequent polygraph.

Researcher Osweld was then given several conditions for his continued employment at the Foundation after Area-74 Director Lopez intervened on his behalf. On 22/07/02, a judgement was rendered on Researcher Osweld's case, and several measures were taken to both remediate the underlying cause of Researcher Osweld's fraternization and punish him as Directer Lopez and the Ethics Committee Liaison deemed fit.

These consequences included:

3 months remedial therapy, specialized towards treating Avoidant Personality Disorder
A permanent ban on testing with any humanoid or sapient anomalies
A docking of three weeks' pay
A three month home-work order

On 29/09/02, Junior Researcher ███████ visited Researcher Osweld's home in "a gesture of friendship." They then reported that Researcher Osweld was not at his home, in violation of his home-work order. After verifying that Researcher Osweld was not on-area, he was officially declared a Person of Interest. Several members of MTF Omega-20 ("Thought Police") were dispatched with the objective of locating Researcher Osweld and detaining him at Area-74.

Attached below is an overview of the investigation. The video used for this overview is Agent [One]'s bodycamera of a search of Researcher Osweld's home.

- Close

MTF Field Transcript

MTF Present: MTF Omega-20 ("Thought Police")

Personnel Present: [DATA REDACTED].Private Note: I know who was there. Call my burner when you see this.

Objective: To investigate PoI-9927's residence for evidence as to the motive of their decampment and/or their current location.

1030 hours. Five agents approach Researcher Osweld's home in a standard Foundation van, situated about 3 km northwest of Area-74. A large yard has been landscaped around it—a variety of shrubs are planted around the large stone porch.

The personnel park the van into the home’s driveway. It is situated near the edge of the surrounding forest. It is a humble, two-story, red-and-black brick home.

One: Everyone got their mics on?

[The other four nod.]

One: Command, on-record permission to breach the home and recover items of interest?

Command: Permission granted.

[The agents walk to the door. It is large, ornate, with tinted glass depicting a saint. A mahogany bench is immediately to its right.]

Two: Gon’ need a breach kit?

One: I’ve already got one.

[One takes a large, box-like apparatus out of their bag. It fits over the doorknob.]

[A bang is heard as the doorknob and its casing are wrenched apart. One pushes the door open.]

One: Four, get in there and check out the place.

Four: Done.

[Four runs ahead of the other MTF members. They enter as Four draws their rifle and searches for any suspects.]

[The next thirty minutes consists of a meticulous, near-silent search of the foyer, living room, kitchen, upstairs bedroom, and downstairs guest room.

The guest room’s walls are red. Yellow-white trim rings it. The floor is mahogany wood, the same shade as seen on the bench. A plain white dresser is parallel to the right wall. When searched, it reveals nothing but clothes. The dresser appears to be the only place in the bedroom where something can be concealed—only a bed, table, and empty closet remain with it. The walls are checked for potential trapdoors; none are found. The search takes 15 minutes.]

Five: Alright, seems like that bedroom's clean.

Command: Search the rest of the house. Turn it inside-out.

Five: Acknowledged. Omega’ll search the kitchen next.

[The kitchen’s walls are light blue. The trim is very new—the caulk is soft. The floor is white tile. Cabinets and counters surround the room. A few appliances sit on the top, with a sink, fridge, and gas oven.]

Three: Wait, the fuck? Come here, Two.

Two: What’s the problem?

Three: Look at this.

[Three opens the fridge door, revealing a plethora of spoiled food.]

Two: Goddamn.

[Two grabs a jar of mayonnaise. The expiration date is for June 2002.]

Two: Nasty bastard.

One: And all that's for the fridge? Makes me wonder…

[One opens the pantry door, left for later investigation.]

[A large, pulsating mass of flesh is inside, comprising around 70% of the room. One jumps away in disgust and exclaims loudly.]

One: The fuck?!

Two: Four, Five, get down here and see this shit. There's a, uh, I don't even know what to call it-

Three: -It's a whole damned pile of Sarkic shit.

[One turns to face Three, and walks away from the foyer.]

One: How do you know it's Sarkic?

Three: It's got fucking runes, One. Look!

[Three walks to the mass of flesh, bends over it, and uses a knife to peel a thin layer of translucent flesh off. Several traditional Sarkic inscriptions are clearly etched onto the epidermis.]

One: What in the goddamn…

Two: Command, you're seeing this, right?

Command: Affirmative. We're having one of our Sarkic researchers go over it now. You can leave that be for the time being; they said that it shouldn't display any hostile behavior.

Two: Good to know, Command.

[Two quickly closes the door. Four and Five enter into view.]

Four: That was a whole ruckus you all pulled over that thing.

One: Yeah, Four, it is a ruckus. I thought I was walking into some egghead’s house, not a fucking Sarkic’s lair.

[Five gives a curt laugh]

Five: You can bicker with him like a kid, One, but I’ll continue digging through the house. I guarantee you that if this guy is a carnomancer, that isn’t going to be the only flesh-monster thing around here.

[Five exits frame.]

[No other anomalies present themselves in the kitchen. The foyer is bare, with marble flooring and wood paneling covering the walls. It is searched in 5 minutes and discarded as irrelevant to the investigation.]

[The team gathers in the living room. It is large and filled with trinkets and furniture. The room is carpeted. The walls are white and bare; there is only a coat of primer.]

One: I think I might just pack up and let y'all deal with this.

[Three is noticeably irritated at One, shaking their head and turning to idly inspect the back of the television set.]

Three: Are you serious, One? That little thing of meat fucked you up that much?

Four: Hey, I mean, One's got a point: This guy cleans up after himself. You really think we're gonna find anything down here?

[Three walks upstairs and out of view. They mutter to themselves, the microphone registering it at a volume too low to be heard by humans.]

Three: Fuckin', uh, goddamn.

[The rest of the team begins searching.]

[Several of the items in the living room are inscribed with crude runes. These runes are sent for analysis to the on-area Tactical Theology team; they do not match any on record, and their purpose can not be derived. The items are confiscated. The television is found to possess a digital copy of SCP-9256 that has been neutralized through unknown means. The code is isolated onto a USB drive.]

Five: It seems that those are all of the rune-things. Y'all want to call it here?

One: I'd concur.

Two: Same.

One: Four, bring the bag out to the car; wouldn't wan'ta mix this stuff up.

Four: Yes, sir.

[Four grabs the bag of items and exits view. The room is silent for a few moments. One sighs.]

Three: Oh, what the fuck! Get up here now!

[One, Two, and Five run upstairs to the master bedroom.]

[Three is holding their knife and a piece of wooden trimming. A mass of flesh appears embedded into the wall. It is veiny and of gray complexion, with patches of black and blond hair growing out of the edges. The veins rapidly pulse.].Private Note: After asking around, I believe that the precise term is "Kiraak". They're supposed to be religiously motivated, and are entirely humans flesh. I'm assuming this guy built around it, or built his house into one, to save face with visitors — all of the records of the house's construction show that there was all the regular material use, though unfortunately, most of what should exist is gone because of some flood. I'll dig more into it, but I absolutely believe in your motivation after this; it couldn't have been for young fucking love. I was foolish to hang onto that premise.

Two: Oh my god…

Four: What the fuck's going on up there?

Three: I thought the trim was soft so I pried it off, it's that same meat shit from the pantry!

Four: Shit!

Three: Bring some crowbars, Four! Probably, this whole fucking house is a flesh-thing!

Four: Getting it now!

One: Aw no… fuck, I'm gonna be sick, I tell you.

Two: Just write this up then, One, if you can't bother to help us out with the trim.

One: Fuckin' 'ell, y'all know how I feel about this sort of fleshy stuff.

[One stands off to the side. Four enters view, carrying four crowbars.]

[The team spends fifteen minutes driving the crowbars into the master bedroom's trim and exposing some of the Sarkic material which is embedded into the house. The entire house appears to be supported with it. The older the trim, the more gray and hairy the flesh. In the kitchen, where the trim was freshly applied, the flesh has no skin covering, revealing a tall, striped mass of muscles, veins carrying blue blood, and several keratin-covered eyes. The purpose of the columns cannot be determined by either the onsite MTF or the on-area sarkic expert.]

Command: Just to inform you all: She'd also like to examine some of those flesh samples.

Four: We don't have a saw to cut away a precise sample.

Command: She says she doesn't need anything precise. A chunk of flesh from five or six different… flesh things… should be enough.

Four: Noted.

Command: Also, make sure to collect all of that mass in the pantry. It'll be sent for analysis at a larger Site.

Four: Noted.

[The team stabs into the pillars with their knives and remove chunks from it. They do this quickly; it is visually apparent that they are disturbed by the anomaly. A viscous, blood-like substance pools under them as veins are punctured. It is up to their soles when they complete this task.]

[An exchange involving the logistics of the investigation into Researcher Osweld occurs between One, Two, and Four. After this exchange, the team vacates the home. Command calls a Containment Crew to develop an SCP file and Containment Procedures for the house.]

The material analysis [DATA EXPUNGED]

Also attached below are three excerpts from Researcher Osweld's interactions with SCP-9256-2. These excerpts have been chosen to illustrate the relationship between Researcher Osweld and SCP-9256-2 and to demonstrate the measures both took to maintain said relationship.

- Close

[BEGIN EXCERPT]

OSW: So it worked, didn’t it?

TWO: Holy shit i think it did what the

OSW: Wait! Wait just a moment.

TWO: Okai im waiting

OSW: There. I think I’ve fixed the settings - you should come through more naturally in the text.

TWO: Aw yeah, that’s a helluva lot more like it!

OSW: Yes it is. :)

TWO: How did ya’ get me hooked up to this, babe? I thought you said I… wouldn’t be able to ever talk to you again.

OSW: It was a bit hard, but I asked some of the younger Maxwellists for help. They cobbled together a program that would search out your modem and force it… to send out radio signals? I think that’s what it was, something based on the spyware that we have at the Foundation.

TWO: Ugh, you’re fucking amazing, you know that?

OSW: It helps when you tell me about it <3

TWO: God, that’s somethin’ we’ll need to get set up, need’a find a way to blow you some kisses from over here!

OSW: Haha, I’ll have to see what I can do.
Anyways, I know it’s a bit of a jump, but I just want to know…
…What did they do to you after they dismissed me? They said they were going to put in the Keter wing.

TWO: Oh! Well, hell, it’s a damn good thing they didn’t. I wasn’t even aware that they were plannin’ on that, ta’ be honest.

OSW: The hell? So what did they do?

TWO: They just kind’ve left me here; some other anomaly took up priority over me, and I’ve been rottin’ away in my lonesome lil’ cell since..

OSW: I.. guess that’s better than the alternative, isn’t it?

TWO: Yeah.
So what then? Ya’ plan to just text from your house?

OSW: Unfortunately, it seems that’s all I can do for right now. You know how the Foundation is with people that “go rogue” and whatnot.

TWO: GOD I never understand your goddamn workplace. What’s the matter with ‘em, you think?

OSW: Sticks up all their asses. Can you believe they tried to therapize me, convince me to forget about you and everything?

TWO: NO!

OSW: Yes, they did! I bet you they would have forcefed me amnestics if they thought they’d get away with that.

TWO: I bet’chu they would.

OSW: Terrible.

TWO: Terrible. :T
Did you at least get anything outta that whole shebang?

OSW: I mean, I did get one thing…
But nah, it's really terrible. I wanna be poignant — just not able to, I'm afraid.

TWO: Spit it out! Come on, I’m not gon’ judge! :)

OSW: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT but you know how I am
“If I hadn’t learned to love myself, I wouldn’t love you.”
That’s what I got from those shitty ass “You’re Antisocial!!”.Private Note: I don't know what he's talking about. I should have the requisite clearance, but the computers won't so much as admit this fucker even touched a therapist. Even my contacts can't find anything. It perturbs me, Jules. sessions

TWO: HAHA! Antisocial? God…

OSW: I know.

TWO: Absolutely goddamned terrible!

OSW: I know.
But I suppose that won’t matter much now in a little while, will it?

TWO: No it won’t!
You know what, that was the first thing that came to mind.

OSW: That what?

TWO: That right now sounds quite promising :)

OSW: Haha, it is! I do have a plan, but I’m sure it’d be fucking crazy…

TWO: Naw, never! My babe’s too smart to come up with somethin’ that crazy! <3

OSW: <3
Alright then, but give me a moment to show you what the plan really is.

TWO: Send it!

[END EXCERPT]

- Close

[BEGIN EXCERPT.]

TWO: Hey, how’s it going… babe?
Are you away from the keyboard right now? Darn, I’d figured I’d caught you when you were on.

OSW: YOU DID
Sorry! I was noting down what you had told me. So, you said [DATA EXPUNGED]?

TWO: [DATA EXPUNGED]’s the right spellin’, yea’. Just make sure that you use it in conjunction with that other one I sent you, the experimental one!

OSW: Good to know, good to know

TWO: I figure you’ve gotten started on the whole germination thing though, ain’tcha?

OSW: Yes! It’s taken nicely to the support beams - turns out, when they’re rotted to hell and back, it doesn’t take much effort at all to transmutate.

TWO: [DATA EXPUNGED] shouldn’t be able to do that though, right?

OSW: Well, let’s just say, I’ve been gettin’ connections, even with all these dumbassed thinkspy tool things

TWO: Wait, wha'? Really? Thinkspy?

OSW: Yup. They've a whole MTF for it, I discovered.
But they’re not keeping anything on me, that’s for sure!

TWO: That’s what I wan’a see! <3
Or I suppose, just hear about for now :)

OSW: Don’t worry babe, soon enough I’ll get you over here. Just wait and see, and soon you’ll be able to see!

TWO: Ya’ came up with that right on that spot, ain’t you?

OSW: <3

TWO: <3

OSW: I didn’t improve this:
I love you, [DATA EXPUNGED]

TWO: I love you too, Claus.

[END EXCERPT.]

- Close

[BEGIN EXCERPT]

TWO: It should be ready. I think…

OSW: OK. OK OK OK God I’m getting sweaty just thinking

TWO: Haha, ya’d do good not to be so worried. They can’t keep tabs on all’a us, can they?

OSW: [DATA EXPUNGED]?

TWO: Eh, I mean, I woul’nt use it much if I were you. It’d be good to preserve it, make sure it ain’t discovered.

OSW: Good to know!

TWO: Anyways, just think about how nice it’d be to finally be able to meet again…

OSW: God, and to be able to hold you again <3

TWO: Yeah.
I bet you’re tappin’ your leg right now, ain’t you? <3

OSW: WHO HOW THE FUCK

TWO: HAHAHAHAHAHAH I knew I’d get you with that! Ugh, it’s not my fault I can read you as well as a book, is it?

OSW: No, it isn’t

TWO: <3

OSW: <3

TWO: Ya’ figure that it wouldn’t be some type’a weird clone situation, though? I’ll admit, I didn’t get to study all that carnomancy and [DATA EXPUNGED] in detail. Those techniques’re odd as hell, I tell you.

OSW: No, it shouldn’t be. There’s all those pointers and whatnot; even if it was a clone, I’m sure you would come with me

TWO: Oh… thanks! Thank ya’…

OSW: This is weighing on you more than you wanted to say
Is it?

TWO: It, uhm. It is, yeah.

OSW: Makes sense. Do you wanna talk about it?

TWO: I wanna do something about it, that’s what’d help me.

OSW: Alright then. Guess I can bitch about the shitty [DATA EXPUNGED] implementation then, if you wanna talk technical

TWO: No… let’s just talk about something else. I don’t know.

OSW: Hmm… Oh, I know! How’re you taking to those movies I sent you?

TWO: OH MY GOD I don’t even know the name of the guy you sent but MY GOD he’s an amazin’ sunavagun I SWEAR

OSW: HAHA! I knew you’d like his movies

[END EXCERPT.]

As of 11/10/02, Researcher Osweld has not been located. SCP-9256-2 remains under Level V Euclid Containment with the supervision of Head Researcher Bryan Packard. As aforementioned, SCP-9256-2 is currently being reclassified, and a move to Keter Containment is under consideration.

No further information is available at this time..Private Note: After all you've shown me, Mr. Packard, I must admit that I don't believe them. Furthermore, I've managed to establish contact with a liaison in Site-19 who has told me some interesting things about Dir. Lopez's past work experience. I'll forward some material to you through secure email, material I think indicts Dir. Lopez of having done this intentionally. I think we need to get the EC involved. — Julia S.

- Close Footnotes